Okay, the reason Im writing this is I really didnt learn anything from this long time project, I just failed.

This girl was the reason I started, so this was my first time trying out my totally new "skills". I propably was (not sure) deep in friend zone, so my attempt was to get out there.

Now, when I start remembering, I dunno what I was thinking: I was dropping just canned stuff to her what I found from this forum. Sometimes she was like "What..?"

But I progressed a bit, started using a lot of c&f (in other words it was only using sarcasm to me). I stopped doing any favors to her, negged her all the time.

Then, I had a image in my mind that that should create attraction. I maybe just thought it, but this girl was showing some IOIs (she is really kind, you cant see if she is really interested or not)

I had done some kino to her, teased her, made her laugh, sexual tension.

Then, she stopped messaging me. I kinda FREAKED HER OUT.

I heard somewhere that she said something along these lines "He supposed too much", that is free translation, but the idea of that is that I thought there was something between us, she didnt.

QUESTIONS


What I could have done else? What went wrong?
How long does FRIEND ZONE -> GF process take? (in my case I used two months to it, and yea, I know it is weird)
How does the LJBF turn in attraction?

This is a tricky situation.

Sounds like in beginning with the canned stuff you were just sort of throwing shit out there and seeing what stuck. Sounds like some of it was miscalibrated as well.

It's hard to tell what sort of effect that has, because it could go either way.

Next you say you progressed:
But to me it sounds like you wayyyy over did it, considering she's probably not a 10 & "she is really kind"

Fair play though, you were learning, that's fine.

In future, probably less neg's & favors are fine - but in a "i'd do this for any of my friends" sort of way. Only refuse if you'd not do it for a male buddy.

Neg's I reserve for situations that warrant them. I personally have 3 stages:

1. Shit test or cheeky remark: respond with a playful remark as well, with a grin on my face/laughing.

2. Boundary crossing/too far: If someone does something just not funny, or unacceptable i'll call them out. "Hey that was uncalled for." "there was no need." "Don't be a dick" etc.

3. Ridiculously unacceptable behaviour: Like if someone i'd just met decided to punch one of my friends. The only appropriate behaviour is to turn away/move away & stop communicating. You just don't even acknowledge them.


Neg's generally only have to be used in the first situation. Lightly and playfully. It's more like teasing.


QUESTIONS:

1. What you could have done:

- Built more attraction. demonstrate value basically. Plenty of posts on it. Enough value will always have her wanting to talk to you.

- Probably less neg's/non compliance

2. Friend Zone -> GF can take a day in theory. I've only done it a couple of times though, and i've always played it out over a month or 2, going friends > sex > gf.

3. LJBF is basically high levels of comfort, but low levels of attraction. And no real sexual component either.

Basically you need to ramp up attraction first - make sure comfort is maintained (it's okay to dip it for a while to build attraction), then when you've got high attraction & comfort build in sexual tension.

That'll make it go sexual. Then from there you can take it to a relationship if you like.

Take it easy.

Wolfus

Sounds like in her eyes you will have gone from a good friend to a weird guy doing odd things. You should have left it were it was TBH.

But yar if it comes up again just be yourself, obviously your best self but don't change how you are around them.

Also never use negs on anyone again (it will help your game) also it would be worth studying what attraction is methinks.

As a final thing why leave the friends zone if they are a good friend I would rather have that than risk screwing it up. There are other girls but good friends are hard to find

I know those things now, this happened to me about 3months ago. I just started remembering it.

But thanks

Wolfus negs aren't playful, they are serious.

Miles away from teasing.
To O.P.
How long have you been in that friendship?

It sounds like you were trying to build attraction by pretending you weren't interested.

Which isn't really a great way to go in an LJBF situation, seeing as she genuinly thinks that your not interested. So it's like "whats the difference?"

Usual way is to freeze out, return and over time demonstrate that you are a different person with more sexual intent.

Seriously how long was the friendship on for though?

Becuase that tells you how hard it is going to be to remove the friend frame.

@Fin - This doesn't really fit in with the way i use them. Could you give me an example of the sort of thing you'd say & when you'd say it?

because surely only extreme situations warrant a serious "Hey your shit", otherwise your just overreacting surely? & in my experience this just makes you look like a cock.

Where as a playful "yeah your shit " works wonders.

Curiously awaiting your reply.

Wolfus.

We had known for 3 years, but real close friendship (sharing secrets and stuff) lasted for something like 3-4 months.

And yea, I didnt know about how to "act" when I was trying to get out from the LJBF zone.

I tried to look like "Im not interested", negged and stuff.

The answer Im looking after is what I should have done? I mean, its not just like when you are friends, you cant just start building attraction.

Does the structure go like this:

1. Freeze-out
2. "Create" new better, more sexual yourself
3. Gain attraction

How long the freeze-out should last? And how you prevent that "He supposed too much"?

@ wolfus, that is teasing not negging

Ah yeah, i realised i've been generalizing. Negging's more "Nice nails, are they real?" as opposed to "your nails are shit "

Anyway i'll stop hijacking this guys thread.

Cheers guys.

You see not being interested does not raise your value. It just means that she is not feeling like she should watch out for you.

The fact that you went disinterested on her while in a friendship meant nothing. I mean in a friendship it is assumed that you are not sexually interested. So why would the fact that you show dis-interest matter to her.

For 3-4 years friendship, you need a good 6 months freeze out at least I would say.

It's just freeze out, then return and let her see that she missed out.


Thier is another way, which is just generally to increase sexual frame, but with a r=friendship that long it'd take a good while, and be very difficult, plus it's quite a sensitive skill and it's not so much something to be taught as it is learnt through inner game/ direct game.

Edit: NP wolfus, it seems you answered your own question.

okay... Now Im getting curious about this all.

We are having summer vacation, 2½months. If I do 2½months freeze-up, and when school (high school) begins, I start gaming her?

Hardest part of this is going to be, HOW DO I START IT NOW?

She knows me well, but I still gotta make difference Im different guy, sexual and stuff, but still dont want to get blown away.

Now I dont need/want couple word answer, I want to know how I should behave in this situation(how sexual, how much talking to her or is it talking to her friends and making couple sexual eye contacts to her? AND SO ON)

How fast should I get some results from her?

If you have time, make a "Game plan" for me.

You didn't want it... but

Inner game.

I am not going to write a god knows how many page long post on outer game, you probably already know the outer game.

It's your inner game. That is what you want to develop.

I'm not going to give you a list of guidlines or a how to act manuscript.
Outer game are pointers, your clearly using outer game as a crutch, it's going to be far more productive if you use this as an opportunity to work on your inner game.

Completely agree with Fin. If you pick up Blueprint Decoded by Real Social Dynamics, you should be able to get to an excellent place within 2 & a half months

Wolfus

I agree with you two too. I have been just developing my outer game. So.. again, stupid question but what do you recommend to get my inner game "in shape"?

Just more pick up -> I become confident and stuff, is that what you meant?

Or is there some kind of shortcut to improve my inner game? Like yoga, staring myself through mirror, becoming better at some hobby..?

Or do I just need to improve my pick up skills? Give me more precise instructions, make a schedule, because it would set up some goals?

Inner game can sort of develop on its own...make sure you are confident and comfortable with how you look physically, also knowing that it's just a game and you have the rulebook has helped me to get in a dominant frame and feel superior to the girl.

You could get some field experience...if you hook up (we use the term liberally where i'm from) with some girls over summer or even practice your game on them you'll be more confident and ready when school starts up.