I have a friend who is going through a rough time in a relationship at the moment.

Think is she's gorgeous, but we've been friends for about a year and she was in this relationship when I met her so I never bothered trying it with her (I thought it was a happy relationship at the time)

She has been confiding a lot in me lately about this bad relationship and telling me loads of stuff, so i've been there for her and helped her out or just listened.

I get the feeling and the signs tho that she likes me more then just that... the relationship is all but over so I think this is a good a time as ever to make a move but whenever we talk its usually very somber and moody... cos she is sad about her life at the moment. She's really down.

Problem is I can't seem to turn this around and make our converstations fun and exciting... I just end up feeling bad for her. I think she is crying out for a good time at the moment though.

I know she will be alone tonight, so I was thinking of suprising her and turning up at hers... being spontaneous. But I don't want it to end up being another case of she dumps her problems on me, and I just end up acting the shoulder to cry on. I want her to have a laugh with me... forget about her problems and let her hair down... enjoy my company and from there we can see where it goes...

Any ideas?

I'm thinking there are too many negative anchors associated with you in her mind.

you shouldn't have fallen in this trap in the first place.

_________________
Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

ive just been a friend to her. Where does it say I cant be a friend to a girl?

But now the playing field has changed.

Mate it sounds like shes going through a pretty rough time at the moment, and might be feeling alone and therefore pretty vunerable. I think if you tried something with her right now then you have a good chance of getting KC or even FC, but I think she might regret it and maybe even accuse you of taking advantage.

If you really want this girl, be there for her as a friend right now. She will thank you for it later, and if she does in fact like you then you'll be the first person she looks to when she does indeed get out of this relationship. Its her loss if she cant.

The playing field changed for YOU, for her your still a friend. You can try to change her view of you as more then a friend, but KristallNachte is right. The time and effort it takes will probably get you 10 other girls.

The reason she's is more open for you is probably that she needs a cuddle that’s something different then a Fuk;)

See the ladder theory. (google it, cant post links yet)

You can try to become more then a friend, but be aware of the consequences that a rejection will be the end of the friendship. And ask yourself the question: "if she really is ready for a new relationship would she really be talking about her shitty relationship?"

Also some girls need drama in there life, to complain to friends, it doesn’t mean the relationship is at a end for a long time.

Just some thoughts, if you really love her then the getting shot down part is worth it, but it sounds like a “buddy-trap”

it doesn't. But being some girls second pussy, there are rules about.

Bring people out of negative states, don't reinforce them.

You wouldn't listen to a guy friend cry about his girlfriend, you'd be like "hey, lets get drunk and do something stupid!!!!"

same should apply to girls.

_________________
Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

Ah you guys are right... I took onboard your comments and decided against going over there. If she needs me as a friend, she can call me.

No point in wasting my time with her when I could be using it on others that require much less effort.