Value is literally the key to love and attraction.
Everything and everyone has value, some low and some high.
We are ALL programmed to measure value. We do it from day to day with materials. Are diamonds more valuable than rubber?
Our lives purpose – and get ready for this shit, it’s literally the meaning of life. Our lives purpose is to
survive and replicate. In other words, to stay alive and have children.
Survival is the most important (in all three states of consciousness), and replication is the least important, however these drives alone dictate our every action.
Therefore we instinctively value things, according to their usefulness to survive, or help us replicate.
We are ALL programmed to respond to high value males.
A female is designed to respond with attraction to both your survival and replication value. Her attraction will be roughly made up of 70-80% for your survival value (What they refer to as “personality”), and 30-20% of your replication value (how good looking you are).
For this reason, if you want to attract a girl, you must demonstrate this higher value.
If your value is built up enough, she won’t need to measure it, as its going to smack her in the face and pull her towards you. Diamonds are blatantly more valuable than rubber. You don’t even have to think about it. It’s programmed into you.
A
DHV is a demonstration of higher value.
A
DLV is a demonstration of lower value.
DHV CATEGORIES.
Willingness to emote – Your reactions are normal. You don’t over react about small things. You’re chilled. She feels secure about the fact your not about to flip out and punch her in the face.
Leader of men – When our species first began 195,000 years ago (I don’t know why mystery keeps banging on about 40,000 years ago – quite frankly he is wrong) in east Africa, all humanity consisted of were tribes. In these times, just like now, women were vulnerable due to their lack of strength in comparison to men (Im not a sexist!). You have to consider survival problems such as food (hunting), animals, and other people. Living conditions were not exactly the Hilton standard. You couldn’t pop to your local supermarket to get food. It involved hours of hunting. There weren’t laws that couldn’t be broken, such as committing murder. The only rules were what the tribal leader consented and didn’t consent. The tribal leader would have power. What he said, went. He had power because he controlled the actions of the men and women within the tribe. If a woman is more than twice as likely to survive with ONE man, how much do her chances of survival improve with a whole tribe of men? She can’t fuck every guy in the tribe in hope of making them all protect her, there would be uproar. However, if she was to acquaint with the tribal leader, she would have the exact same protection, as he controls everyone. For this reason, you controlling the actions of men is attractive for a female. It gives her a sense of security (both subconsciously and consciously) being the tribal leaders’ girl.
Protector of loved ones - A DHV for the same reason as leader of men, but your demonstrating that you can protect a child of hers, and even her family, who she knows would want to protect her.
Pre selected by women - Females look to other females to determine how they are doing, what they should be doing and how they should be doing it. Im not going into depths, but basically we call this group mentality. If a girl sees a hot girl hitting on you, she will assume that not only do you have a lot to offer as the girl is such high value and she would only settle for a high value guy, but she will also become subject to group mentality, and if not copy her actions, she may try and compete with the girl. Another cause for competition (How popular do you sound right now? You have girls fighting over you! =p) would be cat string theory. If she sees that girl hitting on you, she is going to think oh no that girl is hot and she is hitting on him. This means that I can’t have him now. Girls being girls, they want what they can’t have. These 3 factors combined are what I call flocking effect. Like birds, increasing in numbers, surrounding food on the floor. Lets re cap on those 3 again –
1. Hitting assumptions.
2. Group mentality
3. Cat strings pull.
Travel a lot – Do you offer fun and experience? New places which may have been broadcasted in the mass media and valued highly within society?
Successful risk taker – who wants misfortune?
Happy with life – Is he going to be entering your life when everything’s going bad for you? Or when everything is going good for you? (Remember these desires are usually acted upon subconsciously).
Can handle everything she has to offer – She wants you to be the dominant figure (subconsciously), and a smooth run.
Humor – making a girl smile is rewarding for you and her.
Clever – valued within dynamic (It means changing) society, cleverness is associated with successfulness. And let’s face it, intelligence usually offers interesting conversations.
Good with kids – Obviously she is going to want her children to be brought up well, and happy, with a suitable role model. Wouldn’t you?
Courage – Protection over her.
Fun – It’s under rated exactly how important fun is to a girl. To her it would seem obvious the fun is a necessity, but it’s scary the amount of guys who I have taught, that don’t care for fun on dates with a girl.
Independent – is she going to want you to rely on her? Or is she going to want to rely on you? Both! (As long as she gets to rely on you, constantly).
Rich – over rated if you ask me, but hey it’s a high value trait.
Strong frame
Emphasises and expresses feelings through words
Social understanding
Experienced
Good at sex
Tall – generally connotes power, positively broadcasted by the media, stereotypically alpha (Dominant).
Good with her friends – she wants you to slide right into her life with no commotion. Her friends mean a lot to her.
Not clingy
Having standards
On demand
Social proof (explained later on)
Honesty – lying is NEVER a good thing. Females are generally more intuitive, if anyone really wants to know why, just ask me lol.
Confidence
Well groomed
Connects with people
Smiles
Healthy
Passionate
Being different
Not phased by anything
Provides
Consistent
Decisive
Down to earth
Trustworthy
Compassionate
NLP
Think of the biggest player you know. The chances are, he has a lot of male friends, he has money (not always), he has women already interested in him, he is confident and well groomed.
There are literally thousands of forms of DHV.
Anything which is valued by her is a DHV.
Likewise anything negatively valued by her, is a DLV.
The reason why males value diamonds so greatly is because of its connotations. One being wealth (the main reason why we generally desire diamonds - wealth will help us survive), and the other being women. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. Somehow we have the idea in our head that if we adorn (dress) ourselves with diamonds, females will like us more.
Well, this idea isn’t inaccurate. Females will like us more for owning diamonds (but not if you show them off). NOT because of the diamonds themselves, but the connotations which come with the diamonds. The main one being money (DHV). Again girls like a guy with money, but not for the money itself, but its connotations. If you have money you can provide (DHV). Rich men tend to be stereotypically more powerful also, offering protection (DHV). Diamonds are also rare (DHV). Can you see why girls like diamonds so much? Im not telling you to get shit loads of diamonds don’t get me wrong. We can still hit the exact same DHVs, even if you are poor.
Before you argue that lifestyle doesn’t count for all of attraction, you’re quite right. It doesn’t. However even a “nice personality” in her eyes, is still value to us.
But how do we tell what she does and doesn’t value? Or what she values the most?
When we design our DHV (canned – means prepared) we design them to be considered higher SOCIAL value. But some DHV is more effective than others for creating attraction for the individual. Why? Because everyone is different. Certain people have been exposed to certain social influences, and others have been deprived of them. This results in different personality traits, and different qualities sought with each individual.
So how do we find out which DHV is more sufficient for creating attraction than the others? We draw the information from them. This is known as
EV (elicit values). But HOW do you draw the special DHV from them? You can’t just say - hey im trying to pick you up if you don’t mind. What DHV are you most attracted to? Right? Wrong.
There are two ways.
1.
Covert/indirect - to analyse their behaviour and calibrate (decode). Studying what they like and don’t like, looking what kind of guys catch their eye and which ones don’t etc. Can be seen as indirect.
2.
Overt/direct - to withdraw information from her by directly asking her. It could be quite obvious and not that discreet. - What kind of guy is your type? Im not talking about looks, I
mean personality traits. Rich (she sees rich as a personality trait!? - Ah she wants his survival value! And disguises it as a personality trait!), caring and funny. How would you elicit these values?
Rich = A powerful man, who provides. How would we DHV to this? - Tribal leader,
- Protector and provider
for loved ones.
(Obviously you could just flash cash. But do you really want a girl that is just going to drop you if you ever run out?)
Caring = a man who will stay around, listen to her and understand. How would we DHV to this? - Demonstrate we love her (only in the comfort phase) so she knows you will stay around. She may not even want you around after sex. She just wants the OPTION to have you around after.
- Grounding sequence to make sure she knows you understand how she is feeling.
Funny = do you need to be a master pickup artist to work this one out? Humor.
Or there is what I call covert overt, where we overtly ask her what floats her boat and then calibrate on what DHV to do. - What is the happiest point in your life so far? ***Hint - If she says it every time she is with her boyfriend, give it up. =p lol.
Ohhh hard one, erm, I think it was when my baby brother was born.
How do we DHV to that?! Protector and provider of loved ones and you work well with kids.
(With this routine I have had girls in tears of happiness. If you can make her feel the same feelings again, and then amplify those feelings, the results are colossal.)
However, ever thought of this? She may be gaming you? If you overtly EV (What qualities do you look for in a guy?), she may see it coming (WILL see it coming), and give an answer of what she WANTS you to be, or what you already are.
If you then comply with her demands of what she WANTS you to be, you have given her power over yourself (Broken your frame). Or she may be testing you. To list 3 qualities and see how quickly you live up to the value. Then she could see how bad you wanted her, and if all that uninterested behaviour you were displaying earlier to get her to show interest in you, wasn’t genuine. You simply don’t know.
So to avoid these little snags, you make sure that your DHV is subtle. IF she says that she wants a rich man, and you do flash your cash, it’s obvious you’re trying for her, you may have failed her test, and she has power on your ass. So instead order people around (again subtly), give a DHV routine of how you spoilt your niece etc. Obviously designer clothes here would be a DHV, but quite frankly you don’t need them.
The truth is that the majority of women don’t know what they want. They just want it to be good. They may tell you that they want one thing, and then as soon as they have it, realize that they don’t need or want it.
This is the advantage of listed DHV. You know EXACTLY what her unconscious wants, and how to deliver it.
Some value is masked socially, for example a footballer. We are not biologically designed to respond to footballers, but we are biologically designed to respond to the value which they consist of.
50 cent. A prime example.
- Tribal leader, G Unit, And everyone says they love him.
- Pre selected by women. The girls go crazy for the guy as a result of his other DHV.
- Protector of loved ones. He won’t shut up about how he would die for his homies and how no one touches his family.
- Successful risk taker. The guy has been shot 9 times and does not even walk with a limp.
- in fact 50 cent gives so much DHV, just through his music videos, films and songs, that women from all over want to screw him. I don’t actually have time to list every one of the attraction switches he hits and how.
- Just because he is not aware of the fact that he is actually DHV in pickup artist mentality, he is still a pickup artist.
- Because he is such high value, everyone loves his music, because of HIM. Most of it isn’t even to do with the lyrics. They want to associate with HIM.
- Rappers have far better lyrics than 50 cent. He is just one of the coolest in the eyes of society, so the girls love him for it. This is down to value.
- Drugs, guns, violence and swearing are DLV. And he talks about his drugs and guns, swearing about them violently. So we hate him for it.
As he is a main figurehead of the rap industry, this value becomes associated with rap. This means that being able to rap is a DHV in itself. (Also the DLVs too).
The thing is with DHV, you don’t have to lie. You don’t have to pretend that you have been all over the world and you spend loads of time with your family and dating girls.
DO IT. It is literally, your chance to be a better person. And girls will love you for it.
Ok, so how do I start using DHV? If I want to change?
Small things in what you say will change everything. Go from saying you have to pick up your cousin from playschool as you promised your aunt you would - to OH MY GOD! I get to see my little cousin soon, im going to pick him up after school to teach him how to spell Australia! I am planning to take him there sometime - (which I am. The idea is to make you a better person. Not lying about yourself).
No point in lying, when really you don’t want to spend time with him. Make yourself a better person. Go out with him, soon you will find yourself attached to him and enjoying his
company. Don’t do it to pick up a girl, do it for yourself and your family. The fact that it is honest also makes your story congruent.
We can demonstrate higher value through stories.
The shorter the stories are, the earlier we can use them in the pickup. For instance in your opener (starting topic of conversation with a girl you don’t know), if you were to deliver a 15 minute routine without letting her say a word – well. – Good luck with that. As where if you hit attraction switches with your DHV in a minute routine, your chances are improved.
For this reason it is important to convey your message and DHV, as strongly as possible in as few words as possible.
The actual content of the stories doesn’t need to be amazingly impressive, if it is it usually comes across as far too try hard.
Are you bragging? Bragging and DHV is different. For starters, bragging is a DLV. It displays insecurity try hard false etc. People who usually brag, brag about things which they feel they need to prove themselves in. So if a guy brags about how good he is with girls, the chances are he is a virgin (or a rapist).
The idea is to let her know your cool, without meaning to. (At least she won’t know you mean to)
What a DHV story should have:
EMOTION.Men tend to fixate their interpretation of a sentence mostly by the contents meaning, as where the females will listen and feel the emotions used by you within the speech. If with your words you can paint the exact picture in her head that you want her to by using emphasis and feeling, this alone is a DHV, regardless of the content. Verbal DHV spoken with emphasis and feeling = DHV multiplied.
How do we express our emphasis and emotions???
- Paralanguage - consider volume, tone, speed, pitch and other aspects of speech.
- Illustrators – non verbal signs used to reinforce speech – for example widening hands if you’re describing something big.
- Body language
- Acting it out - like a role play
- The denotations and connotations of the words that you are using. Be descriptive.
- This combined is the “smooth talking” “gift of the gab”
CONTENT
Is what your telling her and the group a DHV? It should be interesting, fun, and a girl related topic. Don’t know any girl related topics? I suggest the heat magazine, or cosmopolitan. Avoid distasteful topics, death and sorrow (unless in the comfort phase, where vulnerabilities are shared to create an emotional connection and trust) etc.
OPENER
Yes your story needs to have an introduction. The opener should be congruent with the following story. E.g. Oh my god that reminds me! The most unbelievable thing happened to me the other day! - are you then going to talk about something ordinary?
HOOK
This should make surrounding ears stand up, grabbing their attention. The hook should be as far at the start as possible. For instance if your hook is a dildo (a weird thing to try and hook someone with I know – I assumed it was more of a pushing motion but there you go) then don’t say dildo at the end. It should grab their attention at the start, so they too will listen in.
Remember the hook is designed to catch people’s attention. So make it an outrageous hook, something out of the ordinary. OR it could be something which is relevant to people, a current affair or cause of concern within a culture.
STRUCTURE
Your stories should be structured correctly to have the full desired effect, ensuring they sufficiently flip each attraction switch. After all, you can’t expect her mind to respond properly if she can’t even decode what it is you’re talking about.
You have to take into consideration
shadowing. Shadowing is the conscious application of out-dominating features within linguistics (language). This sounds like a mouthful. I know. But it’s really not too difficult. Ill use a few examples.
Say a statement or an idea is out-dominated by another. For example we have a statement (the un-shadowed box), which is over ruled by another. Let’s look at a sentence, and outline the point where this occurs:
“He was about to screw her, but together they couldn’t pull her pants down. Fat bitch.”
Here we have the statement that someone was about to screw a girl. This storyline changes with a single word, which I call the
spin. The spin here is BUT. The word BUT over shadows what we was talking about with a new concept. Anyone who speaks English properly can tell you this. Its not hard to understand.
We could go as far as saying that here the second idea is valued more than the first. If this is true, in a sentence, we could make ourselves higher value than anyone else, regardless of the content, just by the structure. For example, let’s use another spin. “WITH”.
“He was about to screw with her,”. Here, the female is higher valued, as he is going WITH her. HE (as a box), has been over shadowed by HER, making her dominant and greater value. We don’t want her to have greater value, as she will lose attraction. So instead of going with HER, she should be going with YOU. “She was about to screw with him”. Here the male is higher value, just because the spin is in his favour. You can demonstrate all the value in the universe, but if its you going with her, she IS higher value.
Or there is the
level. The level values two concepts equally, an example of this within linguistics would be “and”. For another example, “You and me”. Both parties are as dominant as each other. If only it was that simple *sigh.
Both concepts may be neutral in value, due to the level. However the order that each party is in, still dominates the other. For example the idea which is introduced first, is put first. Feminists wont stop moaning about the phrase “man and woman”. Or even more offensive to them, “man and wife”. You see within the phrase, the man is always the first to be said.
This may seem over analytic, however they have a fair point. What about if we was to reverse the level, and re named the phrase “woman and man”? Or “woman and husband”? That sounds fucking weird!
In fact, the only levels that are totally neutralizing in value are ones where both concepts are totally blended into one. For example, “together”. Here both concepts are united, and equal value. Lets re cap on shadowing for one last time because Im getting tired of it.
“Come to the cinema with me” (spin in your favour)
“Me and you should go to the cinema” (level in your favour, the value isn’t as emphasized as with spinning)
“We should go to the cinema together” (Two levels, completely neutralizing the value)
BAIT
Your stories should have bits of unanswered information in which she may then hook you on and ask about, curious for further details. This keeps the conversation going, making her think that really you’re the talkative one, but your actually making her talk to you, without her realising it. This not only raises your value as she is showing interest and your talkative, but you are actually testing her, to see if she is interested. If she is not interested then she wont ask.. Eg. So we was in a cinema watching a film, and the girl who was actually with me then grabbed my hand and put it in her lap!
This leaves lots of unanswered questions. What cinema? What film? WHO WAS THE GIRL?
For this reason you should be descriptive, but not answer the main details within the story. This tends to give a “riddle” impression.
PUNCH LINE
The punch line just has to be at the end, or it’s not a punch line. It should outline the meaning of the story briefly. It does not have to be funny, even though the majority in field will be.
Remember a DHV is just that, a DHV. It does not have to be verbal, in fact, NV DHV is just as effective, if not more effective because there is no chance that you could be giving the wrong impression or lying, the group actually sees the demonstration, which is proof.
A DHV story is just a WAY of demonstrating.
- Making men around you follow your instructions
- Making people laugh
- Showing pictures of you DHV
- Getting a girl in your lap
- playing with your niece
the possibilities are literally endless.
REMEMBER: NO POINT IN LYING ABOUT DHV STORIES. IF YOU USE LIES, SURE YOU WILL GET RESULTS. BUT YOU WILL FEEL FAKE. IVE BEEN THERE DONE THAT YEARS AGO. IT’S NOT WORTH IT.
So we have established that for her to be attracted to you, she has to see you as a high value male. But what about her value? If her value is higher than yours, surely she can do better? Why would she be interested in you if your value is lower than her own?
Let’s use a celebrity for an example. If you walk into a bar, and you see Paris Hilton sitting down with dozens of high value people, her value in that social setting soars above yours. So the fact of the matter is that she’s not going to even notice you, even if you say hi. She’s used to that from guys hitting on her. Not to mention her millions of fans. You could go in there and tell her you love her (ROCKETING her value over yours now), and you can be certain she’s heard it before in bars. Everyone loves her, and nobody knows who the fuck you are.
Does seducing Paris Hilton sound like a long shot? Of course it does. Because she is higher value than you.
FACT: THIS IS IN YOUR HEAD.
She’s not really any higher value than you. That my friend is a limiting belief, which will prevent you from reaching your goal. The room may perceive her as higher value, but that doesn’t mean she’s any better than you.
I can near guarantee, if you went up to this celebrity and displayed all your interest (without some serious social proof), she is going to blow you off. She gets that ALL THE TIME. You would practically be shooting yourself in the head for a chance with her.
However, if you treated her like you don’t even know her first name (let a loan her last), she will not know how to counter it. She will be confused. Everyone’s always complimenting her! Telling her how great she is! And how they would do anything to hang with her!
In this context, pretending to not even know who she is would be a neg. A neg is a way of disqualifying yourself from being considered a potential suitor, by lowering her value.
This DOES NOT mean saying something like ‘ohhh I could never go out with you, your too good for me’ when she shows her interest in you by say for example, touching you. Yes, something like this would disqualify you from being considered a potential suitor. But it rockets her value, and CRASHES your own. So why the fuck would she be attracted to you? If you said something like this, you’re literally making her too good for you, by raising her value higher than your own. It doesn’t matter if you’re the highest value guy in the world. If you tell her she’s too good for you, then you have just given her all of your value, and more.
The message you want to send, is the exact opposite. So make it the exact opposite. ‘ohhh you could never go out with me, Im too good for you’ when she touches you to show interest. This is a neg. However, this is a very heavy (takes too much of her value) neg, and it sounds like your bragging (DLV), whilst being nasty = asshole.
What you have to do therefore, is reduce the weight of this neg. A few ways to reduce the weight of a neg is –
- Increasing the quantity (not too much or it actually makes the neg heavier as it gives the impression your trying to “beat around the bush”, further outlining the neg, making yourself look a twat)
- Modifying the content (By slipping in humor for example)
So instead of ‘ohhh you could never go out with me, Im too good for you’ you could say, ‘Hands off the material’ when she touches you.
The forms of these negs are so diverse it may seem a little confusing. However, the content of the neg basically says the same thing – “Im higher value than you”.
Negs are useful tool for us, for a few reasons –
- If you lower her value, she will seek validation from you, putting you in control.
- It also destroys her bitch shield. If she is hit on an average of 5 times a day (the average 10 is usually hit on double the amount of this), virtually no guys would think of Negging. This makes you stand out. You must be different from the rest (DHV).
- Negs will also reduce her friends concern for you hitting on her just for her looks. If your nasty to her when you first see her, and then start being nice once you get to know her, it implies that you don’t care for her looks, or you would have started to hit on her immediately.
As crazy as it may sound, being a little mean at first makes the chances of getting her number better, than the chances of getting it if you’re being really nice to her!
There are two main types of neg.
The shotgun neg, which is a neg made in company of friends and people, used to embarrass her in their company.
The second is the
sniper neg, a neg executed when you are alone with the target.
In both cases, if the neg is delivered at the correct weight (impact – not too nasty) and frequency, she will qualify herself (Attempt to raise her value). We will return to qualifying later, but basically it means to raise value.
In the shotgun neg she may either qualify herself to the whole group, by keeping herself at the centre of attention for example, or qualify herself directly to you. She is more likely to qualify herself to you, if you are in control of the group (the AMOG). This way by pleasing the tribal leader, she will be valued by the rest of the group.
As where if you execute the sniper neg, she will qualify herself directly to you.
Going deeper into the theory (Im not going to travel too deep), the weight of a sniper neg can be greater than the weight of a shotgun neg, as with a sniper neg her status within her social circle (reputation with her friends) isn’t jeopardized, so she is less likely to be offended.
The last thing you want to do is over neg. You may fall into the friend zone, be rejected by the group for bullying (lol), make her think you’re an asshole, come across as insecure or arrogant.
When you throw your neg, do it without looking for a response. Don’t stare at her, waiting to see her reaction excitedly. Not only will your neg seem fake and hoping for a reaction off of her (making her higher value), the rest of the group will too pick up on this.
WARNING: NEGGING IS ADDICTIVE. IT ISNT VITAL FOR A PICKUP, SO TRY NOT TO ADOPT IT AS A HABIT, A NEGGER IS SOMETHING YOU ADOPT, NOT BE.
You can also neg using
Kino, for example you could push her away from you.
We use the abbreviation Kino for kinesthetic, basically meaning touch.
You use Kino every day, every time you touch something or someone.
It can be found in all types of forms, from brushing something out of a girl’s hair or hugging her to having sex with her.
Here are some listed examples of Kino that you can use:
Shaking hands
Hugging
Pecking each other on the cheek
Pushing her away from you / pulling her towards you
Linking arms
Kissing
Negging or complimenting her on her self adornment while picking it up and examining it i.e. rings.
Smelling her (yes it counts)
Slapping her on her ass
Foot rub
ANYTHING which involves you coming into physical contact with her.
**Hint - Kino is always best when your skins contact each others and cause friction, so for example, try to lose the gloves if you are wearing any.
As pickup artists, we can use Kino in a way which is a beneficial tool to us.
For example, if you had not touched her for the entire night when suddenly you lean in and try to kiss her, she is more likely to reject you as you have not established any comfort in touching. Now all of a sudden you want to kiss her? Way out of her comfort zone.
So MAKE IT IN HER COMFORT ZONE. How? Touch before that point.
In fact begin the touching as soon as you enter the set. You’re just a touchy guy!
But be warned, if you touch too quickly under the wrong circumstances, using too heavy Kino, you could get yourself in trouble (like pulling down her trousers before you even say a word lol).
So for this reason, along with not wanting to seem intrusive and too direct, you should begin the Kino at about 14-20 seconds through the opening interaction. I understand it’s hard to be exact, that’s just a rough estimate so you don’t go in too intrusively.
From THAT point and onwards, every time you touch you are
Kino escalating.
THIS WAY when we do make a move, the chances are that if you have played your cards right, she will be comply with the escalation.
It also establishes the fact that the relationship between you both is a more than friendly one. But be careful of this one, it depends on the frame (context or circumstances) of the Kino.
For example, if you hug each other or pat her on the back trying to comfort her, that’s what we call friendly Kino. Friends do that all the time. Hell guys do that with each other, and guys tend to be less comfortable with their sexuality than girls for Christ’s sakes. And you do NOT want to be falling in the friend zone.
So what we want for the frame is more than friendly Kino. Sexual framing baby. Sexual framing is anything that makes you both think about sex. This is the difference from a boy and a man (credit to chief for the quote) and more importantly the difference between a friend and more than a friend. An example of this would be your hand on her knee, or even better her hand on yours, as opposed to a pat on the back. This is pretty obvious. But like everything, we need to go deeper (not too deep) into the theory. Let’s look at hand holding for example.
This is pretty obvious and a male and female holding hands. If not, then they have serious hormonal issues. If we examine this lightly, we can see that the male hand is in front of the females. Its protective, and leading. Never let her hand be in front of yours.
The sensitive palms are locked in together. This demonstrates a connection, built by sensitivity and vulnerability, exactly similar to the wrists. The insides of the wrist are exposed to the partner, the wrist being one of the most vulnerable parts of the body. Both of these factors demonstrate trust.
Let’s move on to the fingers. They are interlocking with one another. Stick your two fingers up to make a peace sign. Subconsciously, these represent legs (I know weird right?) and if you travel to the bottom of the peace sign, in the middle, between your knuckles is a sensitive connecting piece of skin, ill call them webbing lol. This represents what is between your legs (you all know what im getting at) again, on a subconscious level. We can see similar patterns in smoking tells, the way we hold our cigarettes conveys sexuality and protection. From all this, (the analysis can go MUCH deeper) we can definitely conclude this is a more than friendly Kino hand hold. This is what you want. Further analysis would include the alignment of wrists and distance between on angles and distance, the same with the palms and the bottom of the interlocking fingers.
In this hand hold however <, the wrists are still exposed to one another, as are the palms. The only difference is the interlocking fingers are not present. Thus, there is no sexual frame. Instead they lay along side each other. Just like friends. I give you the friendly handshake gentlemen. Try to avoid it.
There are so many more hand holds; I thought I would conquer the main two that you need to distinguish between.
Most guys think that every bit of Kino means that they are really hitting it off with the girl and that she likes him, so the touching is a really big deal.
**Hint - If you believe it’s a big deal, she will pick up on this. Do you want her to think that you are overwhelmed by the smallest bit of touching with her? (If your answer to this is yes read my values thread) Of course not. You would be rocketing her value and decreasing your own. You want her to pay no attention to the touching; you just want her to be comfortable with it. She should be going along with you, not the other way around.
So the guy will carry on escalating in touch, (He may not give any Kino at all - to show her that he’s ‘respectful’ and ‘uncaring about the physical stuff’) and just aim for that one special kiss at the end of the night to make his week. Wow don’t you wish you were as caring and respectful as this guy? Even if he gets nowhere? You can be caring and respectful, and still have results.
The main thing is act like its no deal for you. It’s nothing. If your frames strong, then she will follow your judgments and she too will think it’s no big deal. I saw a guy a few days ago on the forum, buzzed up because he kiss closed a girl he liked for years. Great, I understand the buzz caused by dopamine release (credit to madals) you fucking fool, it feels great when you are granted something that you have been denied for years, but if you honestly believe it’s a big deal the chances are you’re more likely to screw up.
Something else that you don’t want to do is escalate without some decrease in Kino. I am referring to push pull. Think of it as Kino mixed signals. One step forwards, two steps back, three steps forward. You be the one to make the moves, and give resistance. Remember, she should be going along with you. Not the other way around. You can do it without this if you have a strong enough frame, tight game and a dick for fame, but otherwise you may encounter some problems:
1. ASD (Anti slut defense). She may well want to escalate also, but then she risks social exclusion (basically being called a slag); jeopardizing her survival, which is worth far more than her replication is to her.
2. Buyers remorse (A form of ASD). If you DO escalate too far without stopping, too quickly, she may enjoy it at the time, but the next morning she may regret it, and feel a slut, also risking facing social exclusion if she meets up with you again. It’s far easier for her and her friends to forget it and pretend it never happened. If you have just kiss closed for the first time and you begin with the touching in the same kiss, ask yourself, is this touching foreplay? If so, the chances are you have transitioned far too fast, so STOP. I don’t care if it’s her doing the touching, say whoa slow down there speedy.
3. LMR (last minute resistance) Im not going to go into depths, but before sex you will hit resistance where this time, she’s the one saying stop. Obviously we can deal with this, but we want a smooth run.
Usually it’s the guy who escalates and the girl who resists. You should have dominant frame, and you should lead everything, including the escalations. How do we show that we are in charge of Kino? Making the moves, resisting, and using your touch showing that you’re the leader. Don’t know what I mean by this? Look at the hand holding tells again.
There is also Kino pinging, which is also compliancy test, for example squeeze her hand and if she squeezes back she is demonstrating her compliance. You don’t want to do this more than twice in the same hand hold (without a squeeze back from her). Same with kicking. People will soon be telling you to get a room.
Mystery claims this is a good thing, but I disagree, it draws her away from you. ASD. So instead do it when her friends are not looking. Makes it more secret and exciting. It also generates sexual tension. Your simultaneously escalating, with a barrier of others watching.
When we touch something before it touches us, we show our dominance over it.
Basically it communicates that you know it will not harm you as you have already assessed them, and you have no problem when it comes to marking it as yours.
This is great for AMOGing.
AMOG means alpha male of group.
Quoted from Wikipedia - “The term "alpha male" is applied to human beings to refer to a man who is powerful or in a high social position, similar to hegemonic masculinity”.
High social position? Surely this means that they have socially controlling powers? We can put the AMOG on the same level as the tribal leader (DHV).
Touching them lets them know they do not threaten you, and that you are dominant.
Of course if they have not been trained to recognize this then they will not be conscious of the fact that you have dominated them, neither will the group, but they will all pick up on it subconsciously.
So when you enter a set and shake hands with the guys, make sure you do it first.
Tom Cruise is the shit when it comes to AMOG, watch his Kino. Puts his arm on the side of their shoulder/top of their arm and with the other hand shakes away happily =D. When he does this he is actually keeping their arms at bay, containing them and restrained them from attacking him (this is subconscious). He has compressed them in a single handshake.
When you pass them don’t be scared to give them a pat on the back to establish your dominance. Remember, like everything, if the frame is too heavy then they are going to notice it. For example if you go up to a police officer, and literally slap/hit him on the back with your palm a few times, expect to get a threat (Credit to my wingman cassian, who gave me the biggest laugh I have had all year when he was dragged into a room and threatened to get hurt by two coppers).
Another trick to non verbal AMOGing is size. Not physical size, but what you do with your body. Always be the widest. That’s key. Don’t mean get to MacDonald’s and order everything you can. I mean cage them with your arms and hands when it comes to Kino. Every time you pat them, or take the widest Kino layer, you have successfully compressed them down and restrained them. You are then free to attack whenever you wish (subconscious).
Now even though tom cruise is smaller, he has totally dominated will smith here. He has quite literally compressed him down to his own size, grabbed will by one of the most strength associated points on his body, the shoulder.
Many people attempt to socially control through demonstrating their masculinity and dominance to a group. This is good. They have got the jist of it. However the majority confuse this with aggression.
The idea of the AMOG is that they control the social setting. Are you going to want to hang around with someone all night that you think is going to punch you in the face, at the slightest thing? Of course not. The whole group will feel this way if you are super aggressive with things. So they will most likely passively socially exclude you (avoid you than rather than have a go at you). You will have lost the group, and your target.
In astronomy, the term Alpha refers to the brightest star within a constellation. That’s the aim. You want to shine more than anyone else in the group. You want everyone to look up to you, and think – “wow”.
The 7 traits to an alpha male –
1. A sense of humor – everyone likes the funny guy.
2. A smile – do you set a bad vibe to the group? Or do you make everyone happy?
3. The social centre of attention – the spotlights on you. This does not mean attention seek. This means that your voice is dominant, and people want your company. This also coincides with being a high value male and having people validate and qualify themselves to you.
4. Confidence – If you think your going to fuck up, not only will they sense this, but they will think that you will fuck up.
5. Connects well with people – This includes Kino, connecting through activities of self expression (which effectively is all activities) such as dancing singing or even talking and smiling. Your looking for convergence which means to commit to a connection, rather than divergence, which is to commit to a disconnection, for example if everyone says they like something, don’t say you hate it. Be the FIRST to say you like something. This shows confidence and puts out a good vibe.
6. Well groomed – being clean shaven, no baggy clothes, you don’t smell shit.
7. Strong frame
The best way to AMOG a guy, is to act disinterested in his accomplishments (without being sarcastic or offensive) and value, an example would be by not laughing at his jokes. Still be polite to him, whilst being charming to the rest of the group. This will drop his perceived value, and he will need to qualify himself to you in order to again raise his value back to what it was within the group. He can’t fight or insult you or anything, as in doing so would make him look a complete asshole to the group, as you have been so polite to him. So give him a chance to qualify himself to you. If he qualifies himself to you, you are in the position of power. He is fighting for your attention. You don’t want him to qualify himself to you enough to raise his group value back to the level that it was previously at, so don’t give him the chance to.
“You’re a really cool guy man.”(Whilst patting on back)
Here you’re giving him the frame that he wants to be seen with, so he will further qualify himself to you in order to validate that “cool” frame. He will either do this, or feel put on the spot and embarrassed, and his body language and actions will show it. Within a compliment, you would have defeated him. So if he responds well, he has qualified himself to you. If he gets embarrassed, then his frame has broken. Either way, you’re the AMOG. In fact, the only way to counter this is to return the compliment, whilst putting the frame back onto the sender. So you could say in response to “your cool”, “no way man! We all know that you’re the coolest one here!” This may well be the frame that he desires, but by qualifying himself towards this statement he would be attempting to raise his value over the whole group combined, in an over-obvious manner, making it seem like he is bragging. They would then socially exclude him, while he qualifies himself to you. The chances are he would see this coming, (not as in depth lol) and attempt to qualify himself AWAY
from that frame, validating his own frame to you.
Again, the only way he can reverse who qualifies to who is to put the frame back onto you. So he could then further argue that you are the coolest. This would start to break his own frame, as by now it has become annoyingly repetitive over nothing, so instead he could break your frame by saying, you only just met me and you think that im cooler than you? Hah!
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CHAT
