This is the brief of situation...

I have one very good friend. She is also my SPAM and colleague. We've known each other for a year (since I've moved here). We both got out from a long (over 5 years) relationships, talked about it a lot and we became very close friends. It looked like it could have been something more than friends, but only a for a while and nothing happened. We remained very close friends, we talked about her dates, my almost dates (my break up was much worse, and I just couldn't get any girl and also had a bad luck - it's a bit better now, also thanks to you guys ) and literally about everything.

We both had to move out from our old places, so we've moved together a few months ago. Nothing has changed, apart from one thing. Sometimes I just feel, that what she is a crossing a boundary between friends a bit. There are some examples:

- she just comes to my room when I'm in bed with my laptop, lays next to me or on my shoulder (but she is seeing someone)
- when we talk she sometimes says something which can have different meaning (she had a bit bad time with a PUA and when I said that some other guy will help her to forget, she said that maybe i was that guy)
- i'm going to a wedding in the summer and she said that she would LOVE to be my +1
- etc etc

It's not happening very often, but too often to keep me thinking what does it mean. I talked to some other friends (girls) who are at home and they said that they would never behave like that with a friend (even with the closest friend ever). I just don't know what it means. Do you have any idea?

The reason I'm asking is just that I want to know. Not that I want to know if I can make some move, because I don't want to (even if she's HB8). It's hard to explain why I don't want to, but that's not the point.

Thanks guys

well obviously its hard to comment on without knowing you two or the situation, but it sounds like a similar situation im involved with this girl even today. the best explanation ive come up with about my situation, and this could be yours as well, is that we have such distorted views of love, relationships, all of that kind of stuff; i remember my high school english teacher explaining that the greeks had 6 different definitions of love (among them eros and what not i don't remember them all). you're probably more than friends, and she really cares about you, but if you think you might still be in the friend zone its probably cause its not sexual. my friend has on a serious occassion asked to marry me but not because shes sexually attracted but because of an emotional and spiritual kind of connection...

sorry if this doesnt help much or is kinda confusing >.<

bottom line is...youre probably gonna be just friends unless you change your game. if you have the emotional connection she values, she will be willing to do what it takes to keep it (ive treated this girl like shit a few times in the past because i was fed up with being just friends and she always came back). dont be an asshole, but you need to distance yourself from her before you start making your move (if thats your goal) otherwise its too much of an abrupt shift and it will only confuse her

As for me, it looks just like a good friendship. Women need a male's hugs from time to time and it doesn't mean she treats you like a potential partner. You have to feel whether her touch is sexual or not. That's simple. But I think she just needs a man's arm when she's down and nothing more.

I also have close female friend - she's my ex. When she feels bad she calls me and wants me even to sleep with her. It's nothing with sex, arousal, she simply wants me to lay next to her, just to be with her. She kisses my mouth while welcoming me but that doesn't have sexual character also. We both know ho much the boundaries are and don't cross them. We put it clear what our relation are and we successfully stick to our decision.

Some girls need to be touched a lot and a friend is for them the best person to do it.

I agree with the above post, to me it seems like she just wants a shoulder to lean on when she feels down - sort of a brotherly figure. However it really depends on the girl and what kind of character she is (her personality, values etc).

Since you said you didn't want to start anything, I think you should just keep things the way they are