| Just talked to my wing about something important. A thing that has made my inner game better than ever. So good that I dont think about it anymore.
The fact that most of us try to build a connection by finding something that you have in common with the other person. It may be an innocent thing like how wel you liked the latest Madonna allbum to your political views. In many cases, when challenged by a strong opinion people tend to agree with the speaker, no matter what he really think about it. It is just worth to agree in order to build comfort.
I know that Mystery has said something like this too in his video seminars.
I would like to offer an alternative to this approach. Dont agree.
I figured this out when I was cornered menatlly.
I was at a targets place, and we were going out, to a "special" place. I was wearing a leather vest with furry lining, black nailpolish, knee high boots, a pirate bandana etc etc. Its not like Im a teenager anymore but instead a mature respectable human being.
In comes her entire family, the young teenage sister (cutie of the family), her mother and her protective father, and her brother. Anyone in their right mind would just tell me "run forrest run" but as i was after the girl that was not an option.
So what were my options, I could try to explain why I was wearing these things, try to excuse myself, hide it somehow or say that I know it looks ridiculus but...
Those options all suck.
Instead I decided that I would pretend that it was the most normal thing in the world. Why would I apologize for it, how could it get any worse?
So, I sense the tension, who the hell is this guy. I go over to the mother, shake her hand and just tell her that the girl have told me so much about her (which she hasnt). I high five the brother and comment that the girl and her sister uses the exact same facial expressions. More or less, Im being social, entertaining, telling them about stuff that I find interesting, aksing questions. More than I would in normal clothes. So they come in to the apartment and suddenly this unknown guy in outrageous fetish clothing greet them as if he has known them for ages and just starts talking. What happens?
They open up. They sense that the tension is gone once I show that I am a normal guy. That I dont find myself uncomfortable, that I dont think that anything could possibly be wrong with my appëarance. I does not really matter to me that I am strange among strangers taking their daughter out to some strange place while holding a cocktail in my hand. It is the most normal thing in the world.
If I would have apologized for my appearance they would have had something to complain about, something that was strange, something wierd, If I have to apologïze, something must be wrong.
Instead, they feel happy that my way of dressing is no big deal, it is of no importance to me so why would it be to them. They feel safe.
So instead of going into their world and creating a mutual feeling that I am creepy, I invite them into my world saying, hey, its me, Im a cool guy. They never have to think about my way of dressing, I totally skip that part.
So where did this finally go? The mother has since then on 3 different occations told the girl that she should choose me as her boyfriend. The attitude got the approval of her mother.
So what people forget is that there is a forgotten thing you can both agree on. Rather than agreeing on an obvious thing (such as, this situation is strange), disagree and show you own opinions (or personality). This way they will feel safe with you, this builds trust. A guy who would not lie and cheat his way out of such a strange situation is a guy that you can trust to the end of the world. You agree on the social value of being yourself... That is worth more than any crap test they can push on you.
Ezo
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CHAT
