So I've been coming on some of these PUA forums (mostly these ones) for a little bit of a week now. I've been listening to Tyler Durden's RSD blueprint stuff and also reading the Game. I'd like to share a pick-up attempt that I tried out today.

It was at a friends birthday at a buffet restaurant so people were just walking around, when I noticed this one girl. I thought to myself "Should I go for it? Should I test what I've learned?" My heart started beating instantly, faster and faster. I was so nervous. It seemed as if, at the time everything I learned so far had vanished and I just focused on what I wanted to say.

I walked up to her. "Hey, do you think I could get your opinion on something?" She wasn't expecting me to talk to her at ALL. She seemed a bit surprised, actually. I was trying to talk as smoothly as possible, as nervous as I was. I think she could see it. "Uh... Sure" She replied.
"Okay, well, I've got this friend. And we're in an argument about something. He says that if you want to get a girl, you have to be a complete jerk. What do you think about that?"
I really wasn't focusing on what she had said. I was just so fucking nervous and in the moment, I think she said a few words, out of confusement and then I restated the question for her. She actually even moved to the next item on the table, instead of being locked in conversation with me.
"I mean, what kind of qualities do you look for in a guy? You seem like you're a pretty well-rounded girl."
She was kind of stammering. I heard her say "Outgoing... he needs to have style." I was making conversation. Good, right? Wrong. Right after that she said something like "... this is so weird!" Like she couldn't believe she was being asked this question, here of all places. I know... it was definitely not the right place, and I think I kind of startled her.
So anyway, I had to get out of this situation knowing she wasn't interested (trust me, I knew) and I decided I wouldn't torture myself further and make an attempt at her number.
I closed with a quick "Alright, thanks for your time." and kind of stumbled through hoping to make it alive by the time i was back in my seat.

Fuck. That was scary.

I reflected. Thinking to myself 'Fuck, I should have done this, and this and this was wrong, and I was doing that wrong and whatever.'

Then it hit me. I've never walked up to a woman and just engaged in conversation. And for fucks sake, I can't expect to get laid my first time talking to one. At least she replied to some of my questions. And I didn't make that much of a fool out of myself.

Listening to Tyler Durden, I know that now I have to think of myself as 'in-state' and just BE myself and not someone who is trying to hit on this girl in a goal to getting her number. There's a lot more stuff I'm thinking of, believe me, but I'm going to leave the rest up to you guys to fill in the blanks for me and maybe provide some feedback.

I don't think its a battle all lost. I had the confidence to go up and speak to this woman. I was so fucking nervous, guys. I was rattling. But I did it.

You should be proud of yourself, having the balls to talk to a girl already sets you apart from AFC's

And it definately wasn't a battle all lost. You overcame your nervousness and after talking to the next girl and the next, it will be a lot easier for you.

Congratulations on making your first attempt

Right On Man!!! Congrats on your first approach

you didn't let the anxiety get to you
and you sucked it up and went for it
you should be proud!

hope you can find some useful information here
to help you further your game!
you'll be having the girls chasing after you in no time

-hatch

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"Leave her better than you found her"

"Amateurs do it until they get it right, professionals keeping doing it until they cant get it wrong"

Hey man, as a fellow noob, fair fucks to you! Stepping out of the comfort zone is a big step, one I'm yet to take myself. So far I've been waiting for situations to open themselves. So defo have admiration for just getting out there, and having the balls to do it.

Just to give my tuppence worth - bear in mind I'm just a keyboard jockey yet, so am only applying theory to your situation, which is easy to do after the fact, but allows for observations. This is more general observations, that could be applied to any situation where you are feeling nervous, before meeting/approaching someone e.g. before a job interview. There are certain "synergies that can be exploited".

Just when you decided that you were going to approach her, you said you got nervous and the heart started racing. If you notice this happening again, take a couple of slow, deep breaths, and just be aware of the feeling. Try not to let your mind run away with you. If you just focus on your breathing, slow and deep, this will naturally slow your heart rate and because you're concentrating on your breathing, your mind will not be projecting as much.

There are also some NLP techniques that you can use, that you are probably aware of. You can use association to help you enter your "sexual state", so you can use a simple action to help you get into it.

As for the opener, I'm sure any opener can work, but the more relative the better, would be my own thinking. If you met her up at the buffet counter, you could possibly "hover" for a minute, humm and haw, and then ask her whats good/whats less fattening (chicks usually know a lot about this stuff - then you could DHV into how you are getting into shape/training/you're health conscious/etc.)

Again, bear in mind that I am just a newbie, and that I have yet to step out of the comfort zone, unlike yourself. Just focus on the positives, look at the negatives, see what you would have done differently and then forget about them.

Most of all, be delighted with the fact that you just did the hardest part of all - taking the first step.

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I LIKE CAKE

yo bro,

yeah you did it so that is groovy.

But one piece of advice that might save you some time. This might not be your case, but if you are like me, then don't expect the next time to be any easier.
It is gonna be just as hard you're probably gonna see that babe and your adrenaline is going to cut in hard. Take that on board and i hope it will help you.

Before i just expected that if I did an approach or two then the fear would automatically disappear but it doesn't work that way. Fear is part of the game. Use it to your advantage.

Plus, I noticed also that at the start of the evening i do an approach and it means a lot more to me. I feel so nervous etc and get sweaty palms etc. but by half way through the night it is like, my body can't permanently be going into emergency alert all night so it just gives up on telling me to shit myself and I become more comfortable.

Try it dude,
and btw, well done on your approach. keep it up!!!

Congrats on first approach, your fuck up came here...


"this is so wierd"

You panicked, intepretted this as negativity and blew out. Common problem with new guys! But you'll get through it with a bit of experience like everyone else.

Learn to plow through that kind of stuff, just keep with it, say "Well I needed the opinion and I'm interested in what you have to say on the subject"

DELETED

Congratulations. Keep on trying and one day you will start getting a lot of succes.

don't over-analyze the fact that she thought it was 'so weird'. Project that its perfectly normal in your body language and personal reality and they'll feel that.

I had no girls comment on me having duct tape over my mouth as being weird when i tried to silent 5 oceans. They just went with it.



anyhow, for first try. Good job. At least you're out there using it.

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Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future