Guys i like to be expressive with my hands (hand) while i talk..but then i watched VH1 pick up artist and seemed like Matador said it was a bad thing?

is it really? why? what should i do then? tnx

i don't think there is anything wrong with it at all

but there is a line
if your sitting there and your arms are moving every which way
all wild and crazy in a fidgety style
where you have everyone backing up
because there afraid your gonna wack em one
then that's another story...

i like to talk with my hands sometimes
but i like to keep the hand movements slow
and low

that way its not all up in a persons face
and it just looks calmer

-Hatch

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"Leave her better than you found her"

"Amateurs do it until they get it right, professionals keeping doing it until they cant get it wrong"

Stand in front of a mirror and start talking. First, move your hands as you normally do. Second, stand there with your hands hanging at your sides. Which looks more natural? The hand motions obviously. The hands are one of the most important tools in body language, so use them to your advantage. Google some topics on the body language of hands. If anything, proper hand usage can be a great tool.

- Rapture

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If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything.

yeah i agree in the little experience i've had hand language is fine in moderation as long as it projected confidently and doesn't become obnoxious or a huge distraction to your target

i'd say if she takes notice cut it down but if it just seems natural in the flow of the conversation i dont think it could hurt that much, a ton of girls do it themselves (something you could even neg them about i guess?)

then again im new to all this just my take...

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"Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold" -Bob Marley

Ok, the key to telling stories and other descriptive talking IS the use of your hands, so you SHOULD be using your hands when you're talking, it's just a matter of HOW you're using them.

Ask yourself some questions:

1. Are your hands flying about wildly and way way too fast?
2. Are your hands making useful motions that help people to SEE what you're talking about?
3. Are your gestures going to offend people?

Those are the 3 important ones that I have on my mind when I'm talking and you should think of them too. If your hands are just flying about without any purpose, then you've got to change it. If you're using your hands to make gestures that help describe what you're talking about and thus help people picture what you're describing better, then that's a great thing and you should keep it up! I always include a demonstration about exactly this thing when I'm running a workshop because people often have trouble telling the difference between what's waving about randomly and what is useful. If you can stop talking and the motions you're making with your hand can have people at least partially understand what you're talking about, then you're doing good.

The last thing is to keep it in the back of your head at all times whether your hand gestures are offensive/rude/intimidating to people. If you point at people too much and whenever you ask questions or make certain types of statements, then you come off as being overbearing and intimidating, as well as rude. If you wave your hands dismissively at whatever people say, then people think you aren't listening to them. Hopefully you get the idea, cause there's a lot of gestures you can do that are largely circumstantial and depending on how you do them, you can come off poorly, or amazingly well, so just keep it in the back of your mind when you're waiving your hands about that you're not breaking the rules!