haha i was pretty sleepy when i wrote this, what i meant to say was: i have never met an asian guy whos bad with girls shyer than a white guy whos bad with girls...

im not sure if that makes much sence (or what im about to say will) for the point im trying to get across but what i think is, asians might pin all there insecuritys on the fact that there asian and have steryotypes about them but other people just pin it on other things perhaps just trying to find something to blame so maybe its nothing to do with you bieng asian its just that your insecure with yourself and your blaming it on being asian, its intresting to me theres so many threads and stuff about this as from the people i have met i have never seen them have a problem with it. sorry if i offended you chief.

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Do not follow where the path may lead.
Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

Man up and look at your disadvantages straight in the face. Then actually do something about it rather than pretending or compensating. Your identity runs a lot deeper than your skin color. Discover it and show it to others. In the end, it's not about self hate; it's about creation.

and here comes the problem of the ¨loss of face¨

honestly, after 2 and a half years in China I do not know one single man who can face the truth, doesn´t lie to himself everyday and doesn´t care what others think of him.
It is sooo deep in the culture, that i find it unchangeble.