Hey Zip,

I have a wtf question for you. In short I been talking to this girl online who made it clear she wants to get married or at least have a serious relationship. Me on the other hand want a more casual relationship and maybe a serious one but in no way do I want to get married. After telling her this I thought she would stop talking to me as we are looking for two different things. But instead I get a message from her that is continuing the conversation. wtf?

Why would a girl continue to talk to me when we are looking for different things relationship wise? By me saying that I may be open to a seriously relationship she is hoping there is a chance for one? Or is she one of those girls that think she can "change" me to want a serious relationship and/or marriage?


Update:

I replied back to her message and she basically asked me out. Not totally sure where this is going let alone what is going on here.

Hey Zip,

How can you really tell when a girl is faking it?

This happens all the time to me. Whenever I finished having sex with a girl and say goodbye to her, she ends up texting me a compliment like "Damn." or "Having sex with you last nite was awesome." Am I doing something right or is she just trying to stroke my ego? If it's the latter, why would a girl lie about that? It's retarded.

Could you please define the different feelings a women will have when:
a) harmless flirting
b) Flirting with "intent"

Also, how would you suggest moving from a to b?

Madals

Zip, this is crucial.

As a chick, when you meet a guy or see one, how long does it take to determine that you may sleep with him.

Like do you have a trigger in your mind that goes "Oh damn, I want him, lets see what he is all about".

Like as you know, I'm sure most guys go "I would fuck her, sure" when they see a chick that's really hot. And that is the basis for us talking to a girl

So women obviously talk to other women (their friends) about men they like and other issues about men, but when a woman tells you that she discussed with girl A things about you.

Basically i had a small disagreement with a girl i've been flirting and gaming, we didn't speak for a week and abit, but then resumed contact after she made the effort. We then got back to usual, and over drinks I asked her why she didn't contact me sooner and she said that her friend told her not to speak to me to soon, and should wait for me to contact her.

this came across as something a friend would tell a friend, imo, yours Zip???

Of course! Women tell other women not to rush in and call a guy we like too soon or too often. I tell women not to call a man too soon or too often. It comes across as needy, expressing intent and interest too soon and in too great an amount.

This is absolutely normal. Girls say this to other girls alllllll the time. When a girl waits and lets a man make the contact... it's allowing the man to be the hunter. It's a natural role that men play, and there are theories out there that if a woman steals that hunter role for the man, it will subconsciously turn the man off. There are always exceptions, and I'm an exception to this rule, but I'd be lying if I didn't generally agree with the theory.

Want to know all there is to know about girl game? Read "The Rules." It's the female version of "The Game."

I get the quote.

It's true that many women do enjoy a true masculine presence in the bedroom. Usually, we don't get guys who are forceful enough in that department. Men are raised by women to "not hit girls" and to "respect women." Which is all true and all of you shouldn't hit girls and you should respect women. However, it's translated to a lacking alphaness.

The thing is... I've heard women say they have "safe rape" fantasies. That disturbs me. The word "rape" disturbs me. Rephrasing it into maybe "every woman loves a little power play." But it loses the meaning. I will tell you this too: I know men that dream about a little force-play performed ON THEM. I think it's our nature to have a little slave and master in all of us. It's just a matter of where we are on the scale at any given time.

Truth is: It holds validity for some women. I'm disturbed by the quote because I can see what Ian means. However, safe dominance is VASTLY different than saying "semi-rape."

Why does it hold validity for some women? I believe because we're taught that we have to be powerful, dominant, successful, beautiful, witty, in charge, confident.... and we become these hard-ass wicked super chicks. Women are brought up, nowadays, where we are never out of control. Even in the bedroom. Men just don't man up in there. They don't want to hurt us or push us, which is nice... but gets stressful.

In a recent study conducted by social psychologist Diana Sanchez, she gathered data to support her claim that when men are subconsciously reminded of sex they suppress dominant thought. She suggests, “[Men] may have internalized social mores prescribing respect for women’s sexual wishes:”

…Men first saw a sex related term (climax, oral) or a neutral term (table, brick) for a fraction of a second, then had to decide whether a string of letters was a real word. Subjets were slower to recognize words associated with dominance (coerce, fierce) as real words if they’d been primed with the sexy words than the neutral ones.

much to chew on.

Arrogance and cockyness, how do they come across to different types of women?