Hi guys,

thought I'd share my experience of an unintentional (?) pickup last night.
I was broadening my social circle in Geneva and had arranged to meet a girl (girl1) to watch a film. Just something to do. No expectations. At the meeting place and time I just couldn't find her.

It got close to the time of the film so I went to get a ticket. Near a ticket booth a young girl (girl2) was having trouble getting a ticket from the man there. Problem with her French but I heard her speak English. It's almost an instant bond - being a foreigner in another country. We just start talking about the ticket problem and I start flitting backwards and forwards to check where this other girl is at the time telling girl2 what I am doing. Must have given off a strong "I'm not trying to pick you up " vibe. Doing this for a few minutes I realise she had potential so continued to flit around deliberately using the setup. A few minutes go by and the girl1 cannot be seen. I resign myself to see the film and simply walk in with girl2 and sit down with her as if I'd known her years.

Before the film starts we start talking a bit more. After another 5 minutes or so we realise we don't know each other's names . Exchange them chat a bit more. I make an observation that she didn't look the type to enjoy the film. This seems a good neutral line which could just go anywhere. Talked a bit more, found out she came from Brazil and used to be a journalist.

The lights go down and the film starts. I'm thinking to pretty much start kino/touching there. I had a feeling she may freak if I put my arm around her so took it gently. The film was 90 minutes I could be patient. During the film I tried to mimic her body language. I was not sure you could really do it in an almost dark place sitting side by side. But I thought I'd try it.

Part of the way through the film she whispers to me that she needs the toilet and wants me to look after her bag. She could have easily taken it with her so I thought this was a big sign of trust.

While she is gone I decide this is the time to take things further and do some light kino just brushing my arm and knee against hers every now and then. Almost zero movements or flinching away. I keep this up and start to feel a light tingle on our skins. I do not flinch. If she doesn't like it she will move. I notice her body language change. Legs widen and cross in a relaxed fashion, a bit of heavy breathing and she starts to preen her hair.

This carries on until the end of the film. Most people start to leave before the end of the credits. I say to her that she is probably one of those people that always sits through to the very end. So she does. We start talking again, no contrived stuff at all, just stuff about the film, music, life etc. We are there for probably half an hour just talking and only cinema staff are around. I get her to talk about her passions and generally just feed her some lines and she wouldn't stop talking. Great as I hardly had to say anything about myself. One of my weakest points is revealing too much about myself.

She says she needs the toilet again and asks me again to look after her bag. I was tempted to say no but decided I'd tease her and hide it while she was gone. She comes back and looks a bit worried when she cannot see her bag. I bring it out from it's hiding place fairly quickly. It seemed the right timing. Anyway she slightly laughed. I made a joke about the weight and unknown contents of the bag.

We decided to make a move. As this was unplanned I had to think on my feet very quick. We decided to grab something to eat and drink. Not being familiar with the area is very tough. You're at the mercy of unknown territory. She starts to mention about catching a bus home and finding some place to eat along the way. She didn't seem to have a clue where things were so I steered her, literally, in a different direction to an area I am familiar with.

We find a place which did Portuguese food. She felt at home as they were showing a Brazilian program on a TV in the place. Ordered some food and talked a lot more. I ordered chicken and in the past I would have been a gentleman and offered her some, but didn't. I even used my hands to eat it. I mentioned that even Kings eat chicken with their hands. I think this is a good one as it implies you are a King, also it shows you will not to be bossed around. Surely it's one of the most primeval things. manly.

Talked more but I started to find the conversation falter a little. I threw in the ESP think of a number and I will guess it thing almost totally at random. The most contrived thing I did that night. I think she just didn't understand the acronym. Anyhow we did it and I guessed 7 on second try. She seemed a bit fazed by it. I start talking about chance and try to link in my second correct guess to fate, inevitability. Get her to think things are inevitable, don't fight it attitude. Struggled to come up with anything non cheesy. The girl seemed impressed and mentioned magic which I totally missed on progressing.

We leave the restaurant and I think she ended up paying for half the meal despite only having a drink. In the past I would have insisted on paying full. Not now.

We leave the restaurant and I'm trying to figure out how I can escalate this kino wise. We walked around and talked some more. I was asked about my age several times but managed to avoid giving it. She's in her mid 25 I'm 44. Probably a concern over the difference. I lead some discussion about old rock stars playing up the fact they are still doing it, still doing what is considered a young man's job.

From out of the blue she asks me for my email so she can contact me. I tease her a bit and say it's private. I give it to her. I then ask her for phone number and she says she will contact me by email. I'm thrown by this. Anyway we carry on walking around. I realise there is little chance of taking things further that night and so aim for another meeting. During the walking to find a night bus she clearly asks if I will be in Geneva again. I don't fake it and tell her regarding another meeting set for a few days time and suggest we meet up after that one. She's keen.

We find a stop to catch a night bus. I'm feeling a bit out of control here. I realise I have no number. We chit chat a bit more and I find out I have to get across the city to the station in 10 minutes to catch the last train out of there. She mentions while chatting that her uncle who she was staying with was away. Fuck I missed that. God what an idiot. Anyway I had too much to think about deciding if to wait with her at the bus stop or run across town to catch my last train, and how to take either option and make it look good. I decided to run and get the train. I gave her a quick peck on the cheek and made a dash. As I was leaving she said she would write to me.

Feedback would be appreciated

Hmmm, this is a tough one to read for sure. I wouldn't worry about the age issue. I'm 34 and pick up girls in their late teens and early 20's. If they like you, they like you. I never tell my age either, so as not to give them a reason to not like me.

As for the middle, it seems like you faded out a little and started losing connection. I don't understand why you didn't pay for the meal when she only ordered a drink. She was probably thinking you are pretty fucking cheap to make her pay for half your meal. No offense to you man, I'm just saying.

Also, you shouldn't have let her get away with taking your email. You let her have the control. She basically gave you a compliance test and you complied. In that situation I would have said, "Sorry, I can't give out my email address. In my culture it is rude for the man to give his email address to a woman. The proper thing to do is for me to get your phone number. I'm quite busy though, so I don't know if I'll be able to call you soon. I can't make any promises...." That would put her at ease I think.

And if she's not willing to give her number then fuck it, she's not interested, and you just have to accept that and move on.

I know this all happened all of a sudden so you didn't have time to play. But here's what I would have done:

--After you walked into the theatre together I would have said, "So, this will be our first date (smiling)"

--light kino during the film

--dinner. You pay or go dutch

--after dinner, walk to a place with a view or somewhere where you can sit next to each other, not across from each other and attempt to kiss close. There are many lines for kiss closing that you can discover on this site.

--After that try to f-close. But if you're a beginner this step may be too soon for you.

Sounds like overall you were just a little to passive and didn't "man" her. But props on the original pickup at the theater. That was impressive.

Thanks for your reply Clozer.

Yeah the bit where she asked me for my email threw me. It's simply the first time anyone has done that. I did joke about the email and said it was private but gave it to her. Maybe I should have made a deal, you give me your phone number I'll give you my email. Make her chase. I fucked it up. I realise now she was giving me second chance when she mentioned the Uncle being away and she was on her own. I've never been invited like that before so didn't know what to do or say. God I feel so fucking clueless and stupid.

Maybe this is important. She was interesting and we did have lots in common. Looks wise probably 8 an interesting face, small good body. Other stuff personailty good. Overall really good excellent long term relationship potential. Could easily see us being friends. Shit I must have been sending out so many mixed signals.

Ironic that I seem to attract a great girl by accident and fuck things up at the end. Should have got her number or just stayed with her. I should have just stayed and caught her bus with her and not say anything. Wouldn't it imply that I understood what she was hinting and we will fuck. I'm thinking that now but why not then.

God I feel miserable about this

I have looked at this again.

I think I was peaking just after the film had finished. As I wasn't detached enough I didn't realise this. I think I should have just arranged a second 'date' there and then. Failing that get her number to arrange a 2nd meeting. The bits after the film were messy.

Nice night. Very nice girl. She deserves me!

I have to learn from this and move on