I had my first ever threesome close recently and thought I'd share what happened with you guys and get some feedback. I've been interested in PUA stuff for a while, in the context of psychology in general (it's important in my line of work).
So, things kicked off at 9pm when I went over to my friend Alice's house to get ready for a party at a club that night.
I was feeling kind of tired, and I wasn't intending to have a big night. I met my friend Alice to kick off the evening. She's a blonde 7; cute and fun, but at the heart of our social group; sarging her would have too many issues, so I've never bothered. We went to a local bar and we had a few drinks. I chatted to her a lot and got a good vibe for the evening going, and had a couple of beers. Next, we meet our friends Samantha and Evan in the bar (GF and BF), and start walking over to a prearranged party at a nearby club. On the way, Alice complains about her heels, so I offer to give her a piggyback. We then meet my friend Lindsey A (a petite Asian 6.5; great fun, good dancer), and a few minute later we meet Evan's friends, one of whom is also called Lindsey (we'll call her Lindsey B), and another called Winona. Lindsey is a brunette 7.5, funky hair, very well dressed, a little bit 'kooky'; clearly a fun, extrovert person. Winona is a blonde 7.5/8, tall, slim, and very pretty, but shyer than Lindsey.
Technique point - I was still giving Alice a piggyback ride when we met Lindsey B and Winona. This demonstrated social value (“what a fun guy! That pretty girl is enjoying the ride!”) and also acted as a false disqualifier (“hmm, cute guy, is that his girlfriend I wonder?”)
The introductions went like this (while Alice was still on my back):
“Hi, my name's Lindsey.”
“Woah... *looks at other Lindsey, and back, joking look of total incomprehension* - “You mean...” (Lindsey A interrupts – she knows my sense of humour) “YES, ZINGSNAP WE HAVE THE SAME NAME!”
“Oh god, this is going to get confusing. Can you be Lindsey A and you be Lindsey B?”
*both laugh*
“Hi, I'm Winona.”
“Wow, like Winona...”
“Yes, like Winona Ryder!”
“SORRY! SORRY! You must get that ALL the time!” (smile, move on)
Technique point – brief, silly, demonstration of GSOH and general high energy personality – but leave them wanting more!
We arrive at the bop, I immediately buy Alice a drink (she doesn't realise it, but she's my pivot for the evening – have to keep her sweet!), and start gently dancing.
At this point, I wasn't even thinking about pick up opportunities. I was just having a good time with my friends. I didn't ignore Winona and Lindsey B, but I talked to them only insofar as it was natural. Only later did it occur to me that they, rather than some random stranger, would be my targets for the evening.
A few drinks later and the party is flowing. I've been dancing all night in a low key way. I made a point of talking to everyone in the social group in an intimate, one to one way. I sometimes make the mistake of thinking the AMOG has to drown out everyone else's conversations and hold court. This is wrong, I think. It's about making sure that you're the most valuable social hub – you link everyone together via one to one intimate connections with them.
Alice was getting tipsy, and starts to try to correct my dancing, using lots of bodily contact. This is amusing for everyone involved, particularly when Samantha gets involved too. Again, false disqualifier: “She's touching him a lot, are they together?”
I also chat a lot to Lindsey A, mainly because I haven't seen her in ages and want to catch up. She asks me if I will help her entertain her parents next week and I agree. I get a genuine big hug from her. Further DOV - “This guy is really popular with the girls in the group!”
ESCALATION – next time when the girls go outside to smoke I go out with them to cool off from dancing. I ask a few low key questions. Lindsey B tells me she lives with “four other hot girls!" I gave a false disqualifier – I say, “FOUR HOT GIRLS? Wow, I'm glad I met you guys!” A laugh and a joke with it to show I'm not some sleazy PUA, though
Lindsey B is a natural extrovert and immediately starts talking about how her housemates are hippies who won't let her use tampons. I laugh and let her direct the conversation. I do some gentlemanly intimacy building: I say, “So, okay, I hope you don't mind me asking, but do you guys... SYNCHRONISE?” Talk about periods leads to an interesting conversation about men, women, misunderstandings and differences between the sexes. When the sexes are being discussed, sex talk can't be far behind!
Once Evan, the girls' friend arrives outside, I excuse myself and leave the girls for a bit and go and dance, chat to some other girls on the dancefloor, have a few more drinks. (again, demonstration of value through scarcity)
ESCALATION – I go outside again half an hour later or so when I see the girls go out to smoke. Lindsey B asks me in a roundabout way whether Alice and I are together. I laugh and say no, but she's one of my best friends. (trust buidling - “This guy has really close female friends, he can't be a skeeze”). We start talking about psychology, and I talk about how people are really similar, and explain cold reading to them. They're both amazed when I tell them interesting things about themselves (“Lindsey, you're creative, and you often feel constrained by the limitations imposed on you by structures at work”). I explain that I know about cold reading because I'm really interested in people. I go on to talk about the differences between people – some people are “ideas” sorters, others “person” sorters, others “activity” sorters. I run a few different “paradigms of people” past them – the main personality types etc.. This starts a fun conversation in which Lindsey B and Winona basically attempt to explain where they fit into my categories with total enthusiasm, giving me useful information, and letting them do all the talking whilst my nods and leading questions and fed-back responses make them think I'm caring, intuitive, and a good listener (which I am, lol).
KEY MOMENT: I start talking about star signs and the different breakdowns into earth, air, fire, and water. I discuss the differences between the elements. Lindsey B tells me she's a Scorpio. Winona asks me to guess her sign. I think about it, look pensive, and say, “Well, I'd either say you're a Libra or...”. The girls both look astonished. “OH MY GOD YOU KNEW SHE WAS A LIBRA THAT'S AMAZING!” No, I didn't know she was a Libra, I was hedging my bets, I was going to say “...or a fire sign” if I didn't get a reaction from the first guess. The girls will not remember the fact that I said “either.... or” afterwards! Always guess a specific sign, but be prepared to follow it up with a hedging category. You have a 1/12 chance of getting it right with the first guess (which is guaranteed kiss close if you play it right) and even guessing someone's element is impressive. All in all, this gives you a 1/3 chance of getting it right. Plus, if they're a Scorpio or Gemini (water and earth) you can talk about how deep, secretive, and complex these signs are, and how they're really hard to guess as a result, essentially complimenting them in a way that excuses your inability to guess their sign. Pure gold.
Also: if all else fails, and your guesses are dreadful – say, “Ha, well, I think horoscopes are all made up nonsense anyway – but then I would say that, I'm a <mysign>, and we're very sceptical!” It's funny, it makes the girls laugh, and gets you out of trouble.
At this moment, the party's breaking up, I ask a few guys where people are going, and they're all heading to another club. I say to the girls, “Hey, so it seems like people are heading to Clubname. Do you want to start dancing, or shall we continue this interesting conversation? I have a bottle of wine at home if you like.” It's a false choice - the way I set it up inclines them towards the second. But, if we go dancing, that's fine, I can continue to game them, but if they want to go back to mine, clear IOI. And that's what they wanted!
The girls obviously choose the latter. At this point, I start thinking a threesome is ON.
On the way to mine, we do lots of deep talking – about our childhoods, our future plans, and so on. This is vital, I reckon – the girls need to feel they can trust you. This is a good point to reveal certain deep incidents from your own life – I talked about how I was hypnotised in hospital as a child after a nasty cycling accident. All of this builds comfort, rapport, and trust.
At home, since Leslie B looks the less comfortable of the two, I ask her to put her iPod on the speakers and choose some music (she was clearly the kind of girl that would love being DJ, and this enables me to both compliment her taste, and keeps her around). My house is nice and tidy and well kept, by the way. This is vital for winning in situations like this. A well kept house is important for the same reason it's important to be well dressed and in good shape – it shows pride and, in a weird way, suggests wealth. A tastefully decorated, clean and tidy small flat is much more impressive than a big, messy flat with random decorations.
After a while of talking in the kitchen, I suggest we move through to the "other room" (meaning my bedroom). We all lie on the bed. I get out a beautiful children's book. I tell a couple of poignant anecdotes from the book. Frankly, I think I'm overdoing the rapport/sensitivity/trust thing now, I could just have moved into the threesome, but I was nervous about escalating straight after suggesting we move through to the bedroom.
We lie in bed, all pretty tired, me in the middle. Winona starts stroking my leg under the sheets. We start gently kissing. Lindsey B says “maybe I should leave you guys to it!” I reply, “You don't have to do that...” and start gently stroking her arm. She responds, I respond, escalation all round, in thirty seconds, I'm making out with both girls.
I'll leave the story at an end here. Just a few notes on what happened next, and a few pointers -
(1)I WISH I had had a bit less to drink – we could have stayed up all night, as it was, after an hour of (fucking awesome) fun, I passed out.
(2)DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SAY, “Oh, man, this is fucking AWESOME!”. I did, and whilst the girls found it funny, it killed the mood!
(3) The girls asked whether I'd had a threesome before, because they hadn't. I didn't answer, despite them pressing me. What's the better answer here, yes or no? Yes is a DOV, but no makes it a first time for everyone. I guess the latter. But then you sacrifice the confidence angle....
(4)If things get awkward at all, laugh and joke about it. Keep the mood light and fun and exploratory. This is how I defused a couple of situations (like when I suggested the girls make out with each other and they were definitely NOT into it).
(5)Be attentive to both girls. This is the downside of threesomes! Rather than just going crazy, you have to multitask. Is girl A getting bored? It doesn't matter that she's the less hot of the two, you still have to keep her interested! When she leaves, her friend probably will too!
(6)Finally, enjoy!
SUMMARY – What I learned from the evening
Don't be too eager – you have plenty of time, worst case scenario about playing it slow is a kebab and a jerk. Best case of playing it slow is a threesome
Demonstrate value with all other girls first (it helps if you have lots of female friends)
Use scarcity and false disqualifiers to your advantage
Use talk about personalities (via star signs cold reading etc.) to amp up the emotional intensity.
Opening up yourself is a great way to build trust.
Let the threesome happen naturally – assuming both girls are open minded, make sure the girls both fancy the pants off you so neither of them is willing let the other one have you to herself! Then you're sorted.
CHAT