I've posted on here about relationship I have with an hb10, who is my best friend and my struggle to turn that from just a great friendship to one that includes sexuality. I've talked about it a lot and I am paralyzed from about the waist down now, but that isn't the problem. I just realized exactly what it is; her perception of me. It needs to be signifigantly altered so I can go from a platonic friend to a fuck friend/lover. The foundation is there with trust, caring and reciprocity but I'm nolonger interested in being her platonic friend. I want her too badly in a sexual way to go on like this. I definitely have "one-itis" and I'm fine with that. At 30 yrs old, I'm ready to settle down with a long term partner and she is the perfect fit. I don't want her to see me as "just Dave" anymore. It's difficult to find a woman who cares nothing about a wheelchair, but this one knows me and doesn't even notice it anymore. She is intelligent, kind and has the looks that could stop a clock but if I ever want to feel her mouth cleaning my clock lol, I need a brand new bag. I'm looking for any and all relevant advice that will help get me seen by her in a sexual way. I already decided to get my ears pierced again and to stop acting like a "friend" and more like a fuckin man. I'm going use a stronger voice and be more assertive. No more catering to her or being a "nice guy". Any and ALL advice you guys can give me (other than don't waste your time because I'm goin for this one) will be greatly appreciated. I'm in love and I have to make this happen. She sees me as a "nice guy", and as someone who doesn't do enough to make things happen for myself and she feels I need to take a more proactive approach in my life. She considers me cute but I have been too AFC and not enough ALPA for a girl like her. Guys, any advice, hit me with it! Help me get MY dream girl!! Your friend, Constantine

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"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail"-Emerson

Is this love my man?

Constantine, if i were you i'd feel the exact same way man about the girl you're talking about. Actually, i felt like that about a girl i know.

I might be wrong because im no expert, that's why dont consider my post as an answer. But if you reread your post you'll realize that you said:
"sexuality", "fuck friend", "sexual way" (twice) and "cleaning my clock"...and how many times did u say the word love?

In all honesty man, i would like to hear your answer.

Would you consider the fact that it is possible that you are physically attracted to this girl?

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Whether you think you can, or whether you think you cant, you are right.
H. Ford

OK Bro. Let's do this thing. Read the above back to yourself again. Look,,, not in any big way, but,,, I'm sensing a little anger or frustration. Man,,, totally lose that. That is not the road that will help you. It's got to be positive. You got to love yourself and project that energy and confidence. ALpha's are Alpha because they got their shit together.

Chicks blows them off? BFD
They wreck their car? BFD
They don't have a date? BFD

AN Alpha likes himself, knows what he wants and knows how to get it. Alphas don't have to act macho, because macho is an act, and ALphas don't give a shit what people think. They are just them.

[/quote]She sees me as a "nice guy", and as someone who doesn't do enough to make things happen for myself and she feels I need to take a more proactive approach in my life.

don't know why I'm responding to this but YES, the answer is YES, I am in love with her. Sorry if I make a pun/joke about cleaning my clock because that's all that was, and the issue here is sexual attraction because in every other way we're already there.

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"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail"-Emerson

First of all i want to thank you man for taking the time of responding. This shows that you're open-minded to remarks and ideas, thus it'll be much easier for you to change when U want to.
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This is actually great because you've already established all the other things like comfort and rapport.

If sexual attraction (I like to call it tension) is all that is missing, i have an idea. It might be wrong so don't apply it until you have thought about it. What do you think about trying the "triangular gaze"?
I know that it builds tension, but you have to decide if its gona build positive tension, or negative one.

Let me know what happens with you man. Im sure ill find it useful.

By the way, your joke was funny. And there's no need to apologize about it. Even if it was lame.

File

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Whether you think you can, or whether you think you cant, you are right.
H. Ford

Good Luck!!![/quote]Playing with her hair, leaning on you, staring, big smile, laughing, punching your shoulder.

Ok, that's another thing, she does play with her hair, I have seen her stare, and we have awkward moments where we just look at each other or she looks down and plays with her hair but here is what gets me the most; unless she is REALLY drunk, she NEVER touches me at all, I mean at all and that is different from any other female friends that I've ever had...is that an IOI or an IOD? Also, if I say jokingly, for ex. she'll say "this guy in (such and such movie) reminds me of you!" and I'll say "oh, he MUST be hott!!" She wont respond at all or if I say something about her looking good she wont answer either? what is that?? IOI or IOD?

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"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail"-Emerson

Those are IOIs. Here's another way to read a womans eyes. If you catch her looking at you and she then diverts her eyes sideways. She's not interested. But if she looks down then away, then she is interested.

Look dude,,, from what you wrote you may be in a better position than you thought. You say there are awkward moments after she is gazing at you. Ask yourself,,,, why is that happening? What would cause that? If it is as you described, the answer is probably that she is waiting and hoping that you will take the next step. Since you don't. it causes awkwardness. It's like playing checkers and it's your turn and instead of moving a piece you stare at the cieling fan.

Constantine, in moments like that, it's like a game or a dance, it's your turn to make the move. The awkwardness is that she knows that, but is confused why you don't. AFC vurses guy with game, GWG knows he's up to bat and there is no awkwardness for him, becuase the lady actually gave him an invite. OK?

So what's the next move? I'd suggest something confident and suttle. Look DUde, she is telling you she digs you, I mean,,,, fuck, wake your ass up. She's not this way with any other guy. But you're not there yet. You still have work to do to win her. SO man your ass up, forget the games and do simple stuff.

For you, you want to start touching her. Correct? So do that.

Lots of fun possbilities. In the simplest sense, since you have gotten IOIs you got the green light to touch. So if you are at your desk and she is turned away, you can reach over, grab her arm, and gently pull her closer say "Look, you have to see this" and show her something of interest.

That's as simple as it gets.

The next step, as you break her into this new world, would be grab and hold. Now she's looking at some interesting magazine article and you got your hand resting softly on her lower back.

Maybe the next step would be grab, hold and not let go. Dude, this is a playful flirty thing, not a weird dominent thing. You grab her, hold her, and as she moves away you still hold

as you're holding her, the game begins......
Her "hey, I have to get something" and she tries to move away
You with a mischievous look and smile " I want you to stay, you have to see this"
Her "ok"
you , let her go, even bigger grin, give her a small push "You're too clingy"
Her "no I'm not!!!"
You "Ok" Big grin, grab her and bring her in even closer.

You see how that works? It's flirty and fun.

Here's something I've used for fun. Tell her you've taken an art class and want her to sit so you can do her portrate.

So she sits and you pull out the paper and pencil and get to work. The important thing is, as you are drawing her, she can't see what you're doing. What you're doing is building up huge curiousity with her,,, ergo value or interest in you. So you string her along,,, sort of make a fuss over the whole affair. Tell her to smile, then say, that's not good. Maybe turn her, get her posing. Put your hands on her to put her into the pose.Tell her now she looks sexy! Now not! Lots of fun play to be had with this script.

Gage it. Get the whole thing to peak before it gets boring. Then a triumphant "Taddaah!!!!! I"M Done!!!!".

Here's where the fun really begins. So you put this huge grin on your face, hide the drawing. Lay it on your chest and gaurd it with you arms.

Her "Can I see it?"
You "No it's mine and I don't like to share!!!"
Her "No!! Let me see it!"
You "No it's mine!"

You see how this works. Sh's gonna want to see it and the more you say no, the more she wants t see it.

Eventually she will come closer and try to grab it. This is what you want. You want to play and wrestle with her. That's the point ot the whole drill.

Eventually she will get it. That will be fun too. because for all the fun and fuss, she's now looking at a very basically drawn "stick figure" .

"You can't draw!!!"
"No it's your posing that needs work, not my drawing!!!"
"You're a faker!!!"
Grab ger again "COme here and let me nibble on your neck because you don't undertand art!"

You can even get some milliage out of what you draw. Maybe a stick figure in a "nun's" outfit. Or a pirate or a devil.

fuck one-itis, I suggest you totally go for this.

so wait, lemme get this clarified. She NEVER, EVER TOUCHES ME, not a hug goodbye, NOTHING unless she's super drunk, then she may put her arm around me on occasion but that's a fucking IOI??? When I joke about being hot, she doesn't respond or if I say something when I see her on her way out to the club and am like "Damn!" and she ingnores it, those are IOI's also?? If so then I do need to wake up but I just really have never gotten the whole never "touching" me thing like I have the bubonic plague or something and that is an IOI??????

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"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail"-Emerson

Yes those are IOI's. Work towards identifying them and getting more.
Dude that is your total negative thinking. You really need to turn the chanel on that. WOmen are fucking mind readers. They are drawn to good vibes.

All she's doing is not touching you. I don't see anything to "get" about it. I'll tell you something, most the women in the world do not touch me. That doesn't mean shit. If I want them to touch me, I work towards that. That begins with generating attraction, building comfort /rapport, catching a couple IOI's then I start touching them. I can even take their hands and put them on me.

Are you touching her? Then start getting "touchy".

Lastly,,, are you working this out of a bar? I don't know if that's your ideal venue. It's dark, noisy, too many people. Can you meet up with her at bookstore, or mall or your place?

occasionally we go to bars or parties but mostly we spend time at my place together and once in a while her's, although you can't smoke in her apt lol so she usually comes here. the whole "not touching" thing tells me she is afraid of something...either that I will get the wrong idea, that she might like it, or she could just be that way...i don't know. I've tried playfully grabbing her in her car once and here and there I'll sqeeze her knee...She told me when she left Thurs. night to call her "tomorrow". Well, I didn't call her yesterday and I'm not calling her tonight...damn right fuck one-itis lol. I truly love this one and I don't wanna mess with her again until I get this right...also maybe it's a good idea to not see her for a few days anyway?

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"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail"-Emerson

It's too bad you feel love to her. Love should be reserved to woman you sleep with. Because when you love somebody, you became too frustrated and needy. Women can read males' body language ten times better than we do. She will notice it. Do everything to not think about her as one-its. Then you can have her. As Style said, if you want a woman, you must be ready to risk losing her.

I'm not frustrated and needy lol. I've been told that in order to break out of the FZ I need to cut off contact with her for a couple weeks but SHE keeps texting me and calling me. Last night she called me and said she wasn't feeling well or depressed or something and wanted me to come over. I told her I didn't feel like it, that I was tired. Did I do the right thing there?

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"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail"-Emerson

the post about dropping the anger vibe is straight on. you have to lose that for her to subconsciously change the way she views you.

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"Fortune favors the bold."
My blog:
http://thisisnotimefortheinnocent.blogspot.com/

WTF?? I'm not angry. i was cool with being friends with her even though I had a crush but that crush has turned into love/one-itis and so before I start giving off an anger vibe I've cut ties with her for now...

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"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail"-Emerson