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There is something I don't like about the term neg. I much prefer tease or back-handed compliment in my own mind because it reminds me that it's all friendly and fun and I’m not giving her a hard time like I would dis one of my buddies. In fact, I’ve gotten away from that all together too. It’s sort a game amongst guys, but I’m finding it better to prop them up and build their inner game so they can do the same for me; even when there aren’t any women around.
A little story that messed me up with my off/on GF. We were at dinner with my Mother and some of her friends, and dissing each other has been a part of our relationship since I was a little kid. I said something that was perfectly ok in the context of my relation with my Mother, but she really took offense to it. She had me pegged as an insensitive jerk for quite a while there and didn’t want to take me with her to parties with her friends because she thought I might say something that would insult or embarrass her.
Sorry to hear that!
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Anyways, about opening on the dance floor. This should work for the clubs you were at, but I have opened several times on the dance floor at country bars. I would teach line dancing and country swing before I would open up my club for the night crowd, so I had a little credit in that department to begin with, then I would just go out and dance when I would play something that really inspired me. I would dance behind the booth too. If I wasn’t automatically pulled into the girl sandwiches, I would just dance near by then offer my hands to which ever pair of girls I was opening and switch to a two girl swing.
Ok, I should point out that the sets are girls dancing with each other. I have pulled up to three this way. The trick is, when the song is over you need to have something to cross you over from the dance floor to a more suitable place for conversation and you need to be a confident dancer that likes to dance.
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The dance floor is hands down the best place to pick up women, for 2 main reasons. First, 9/10 there is not another guy in sight literally is No mans land. Secondly, it is non-verbal, so just go over and dance with her or take her hand and bring her into your group etc. There are hundreds of ways of opening on the dance floor, just have good body language and you will be fine (you don't need to know how to dance).
Also if you have a lot of free time check these out;
Kelvin, Peter. 1969. The Bases of Social Behaviour, An Approach in Terms of Order and Value. Holt, Rinehart and Winston Ltd. London.
Le Bon, G. 1896. The Crowd. Unwin. London.
Small, Christopher. 1987. Lost in Music: Culture, Style and the Musical Event. Routledge & Kegan Paul. London.
They will help you understand clubs on a different level and be able to use it to your advantage.
Thanks all for the tips, I really appreciate it!
I will order some of these books immediately!
Curiosa:
Today, during the way home and when I went down to buy some sushi, I said ”Hi!” to four girls which three of them responded. They all responded with a ”Hi!” and a little bit chocked. They weren’t expected a stranger to just say ”Hi!”. I didn’t start a conversation, I just said ”Hi!” and moved on.
Approach anxiety vs. Restarted:
0 – 1
I can also mention that after I said ”Hi!” i didn’t day, nothing happen, they smiled and just said ”Hi!” back. Great feeling! I have to do it again!
/Restarted
CHAT
