The first few paragraphs are mostly background (sorry for the length). If you want the quicker version, skip ahead to the last 4 paragraphs:

I meet HB8 at a bar when we are really drunk, we hardly even remember meeting each other, but we exchange phone numbers, and go our separate ways.

The next day, she texts me when she wakes up, saying, “Hi, this is HB8”. So I’m negging her and getting her to qualify herself pretty hard; for example, I say, “Oh, are you the dirty blonde I met last night?”. I do this to the point where she is visibly mad at me, so I decide to turn on the charm and tell her that she apparently can’t take a few jokes. I think I framed her pretty well to accept my cocky-funny attitude.

Over the next four weeks, I’m basically online-gaming her, and rack up about 20 pages worth of IMs (just for an idea of rapport), with DHVs and sexual innuendos to keep things interesting. I tell her that I’m going out to meet a few friends for drinks tonight (Saturday), and she can come to my house and pregame with me for a bit, then we can pretend that we’re friends when we head to the bars. She is surprisingly opened to the idea, and it just takes a hint more of persuasion to convince her to drive to my house and then we’ll walk to the bars. She asks if her underage friend can come(HB7), but HB7 has somewhere else to go when we head to the bars.

HB7 and HB8 show up around 9:30, and we just sit around on my couch, drink and watch some comedies until around midnight. It’s tough to fit in a word with HB7, she really dominated the conversation, which was hard to take away from her. I sort of just jumped in to conversation at any point that I could. HB7 leaves at midnight. HB8 and I go to the bars.

So, generally normal conversation at the bar, mostly fluff. We exchange paying for rounds of drinks, and then we head home around closing time (3am). I hold her hand, and just still fluff on the way home.

We get home, and I tell her I’m going to pop on a movie in my room and go to sleep. She joins me. So we’re watching the movie, and I’m doing a little bit of push-pull in the bed (figuratively and literally). I tell her that my 5 o’clock shadow is already coming in, and she should feel it. So, we’re sort of cuddling, and she is stroking my face, almost pulling it closer to her. The only thing is…her breath reeks! So I offer her some gum, but she says she doesn’t want it to end up in her hair. She says something about how my 5 o’clock shadow is interesting, and I take my opportunity, “you know what else is interesting…” and start making out with her.

I already had some gum in my mouth, and I was trying to force the gum taste in to her mouth, but there was no use! I stopped and said, “haha, listen, I can’t keep doing this until you go to the bathroom and swirl some mouth wash around…seriously.”

She goes to the bathroom, and I’m waiting for maybe 5 minutes. I go to check on her, and she’s not in the bathroom! I go to find her on the couch in the living room, sleeping! So I poke her, and say, “you don’t have to have sex with me to sleep in my bed,” but she doesn’t really respond. I just get a blanket and pillow for her, and go back to my bed. She gets up early the next morning, grabs her phone, says she had a good time, and leaves.

Was this just ASD/LMR? Or could I have offended her with the breath comment? I think the only thing I could have done differently was to realize earlier that her breath stunk, and to give her some gum on the way home. Did the mouth wash thing just give her time to think about what she is doing?

That was hilarious I must say.

I think she may have been offended but I guess it was just unlucky really that she had such bad breath and didnt fancy a chewing gum.

Damn, that really sucks. You spent a whole evening working for an f-close only to have it end like that. I've been in that situation many times. I hate dragon breath and GPP, garbage pail pussy.

The problem is the way you said it, "I can't do this until you..." and "...seriously"

If she has dragon breath I usually say, something like, "I'm thirsty. I'm going to get a glass of water. I have an extra toothbrush in the bathroom. You can use it. The bathroom is over there."

You see, this way you are not telling her to brush her teeth or making her feel bad about her breath. You are just stating a fact (I have an extra toothbrush) and letting her make the conclusion.

Hit me up if you want to know how to cure GPP

logistics.....and dragon breath. hard to overcome. it says A LOT that her breath was so bad as to stop you from playing "just the tip". Wowzers. This literally made me laugh out loud. Thank you kind sir.

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Ahaha, I'm cracking up over here. First of all at the terms Dragon Breath and GPP .

I was hanging out with a girl over the weekend and ran into some MAJOR dragon breath, but didn't have the courage to suggest that she rinse her mouth out. I managed to make out with her in complete agony for a few minutes before I couldn't go on anymore. One cigarette, two breath mints and a piece of chewing gum later, and I was still tasting that nastiness on my breath.