Hey guys, just a quick post. We're all part of a community here where we are out to improve ourselves and help others around us, that is why this forum was made. I have seen a few posts lately where users have commented on a topic giving what some would describe as 'Tough Love' now I think they are getting confused with putting other PUA's down. This is not something we should be doing, some of the Newbies to the forum I can imagine may feel intimidated by this and its not good, we should all be there for each other and help others because this is the best PUA forum on the NET!

Thanks for taking the time to read my rant please post your comments

Totti;;

It should go without saying, but your right. Nice post.

Everyones power trippin man! Desperate to have their view seen as more important!

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V1V

I do what you are saying, however I also feel there is most defiantly a time and a place for "tough love".
Without meaning to offend, some people who post on this forum ask stupid things and worse still, ignore people who give them good advice with more whiny excusing making crap. Sometimes you need to be blunt with people, they might hate you at the time but eventually they will thank you for it. I can recall a few posts I have made which to the observer could appear mean to the poster, however it is what was needed.
To the same extent (unfortunately) there are people on the forum who reply to posts saying ridiculous things that are neither helpful or completely on topic. Unfortunately this forum is an open place where everyone's opinion is allowed (which for the most part is great, it stops pigeon holing). The downside is that some plain stupid people are few to post BS which could be damaging to the people who are trying to learn.

Like I said at the start, there is a time and place for tough love. Sometimes it is needed.

Madals

Couldnt agree more Madals, and the reason I started this topic is so that people can post replys and give their opinions after all thats what makes a community

But as V1V said some people are just on a power trip, which is just sad. Enough said

Totti

There is a time and place for tough love, on forums and in person.

When a guy chodes out on opening, you dump him in set.

When a guy bitches and moans without realizing how he failed, you tough love him out.

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I'm addicted to facing my fears.

most of the time, i'm more hardass on the forums. But if any newbie appears in the chat, i go softer on them lol

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Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

I totally agree with the poster.

It almost seems as if some people write threads more to get votes and kudos rather than to actually help people.

It's just a fucking internet forum, get a grip. There's more to life. For me there is no 'newbie' or 'hardass' or anything. I'm just me, and I'm always me. And other people are always other people, and I treat them as such.

I've started to get a rep for tough love, which leaves me abit on the backfoot, as I prefer the more laid back approach that some people have like hobbit.

My personnal problem is that PU is one subject which I am very passionate about, and I often by mistake come across as aggressive or over-bearing. If I do so, I do not "hate" the poster, merely his attitude or point that I am correcting.
But this is the way I see it.

If your new and have little idea of whats going on you are safe.


If your are not new and you have attitudes which are wrong, I will correct you.
If you teach these I will call you HARD.

If you ask for advice, I will be soft and more than happy to answer, I don't think I've EVER been impolite with a PMer. If you then take my advice, refuse to apply it, or say it's BS; I will explain it more, then I will shove it down your throat.

I make a personal point of making people VERY aware if I am discussing something which I have little knowledge of. I only give advice, if it logically makes sense, has worked for others, and I have experienced it.

And I judge people on the same terns, everyone is free to make their opinion, but people have to distinguish what is their logically backed opinion and what is their educated guess.

Tough love, or "Coxing" is a teaching method to be employed to the arrogant and ignorant, some people ask for more, when really they should empty their cup first.

Tough love should be used to show someone that they are not some infallible god and they should consider the advice given more than just a rambling of a confused forum member.

It should not be used as an tool for ensuring your own personal security as an "elitest PUA".

It all comes down to application in my mind, but a world where we don't need to use "tough love" would be a pretty cool one (Y)

That being said, I've been deservingly ripped by one or two members, and I'll take this moment to thank them for making me change my opinions however slightly.

Kasabi
Cn_12
Adams' mother during roleplay sessions.


If their are any others, gimmie a shout and I'll add you!

Whos V1V man?

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V1V

I think there needs to be a distinction drawn between being disrespectful to each other (which is obviously harmful, not to mention against the forum rules) and giving a person the advice they need versus the advice they want.

I always do my best to address the underlying causes of the problem a person is having rather than the problem itself--treating the disease, rather than the symptom, as I believe it was once put by JSmooth. I think this is probably the best way to go about helping people since if they fix whatever limiting belief or self-image issue is causing their troubles, they will naturally deal with other issues later down the line in an attractive way. Compare this to posters who say "Give me a line for this situation," then use it and come right back for another "line" in the next "situation" and it's pretty obvious which method is more effective.

The person asking for advice may not be happy that you didn't directly address their question, but in the long run they'll be better off taking your advice.

That said, I agree with everyone that positivity is always more effective and awesome than negativity--both with women and with each other. Nice post Totti.

Your boy,
870

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"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

http://tinyurl.com/c6lbje<-Member Journal (PMZ Only)

*cough* *cough*

Ok I'll add your mother to the post.

Haha allow me to correct myself V Lake

So used to seeing the D/P just assumed you were still V1V at heart maybe:P

I agree. This forum was awesome when I came here because most people are really helpful, freely giving out their knowledge and advice. Now most people's advice shouldn't be listened to so quickly because they just got here themselves and they don't know any better than the people asking a question in the first place, but I love to hear their input and I remember when I was one of those guys and answering all the threads I read was how I learned so quick.

The thing that really bugs me is when I read posts by guys who may only have 3 posts, or may have been on the forum for 3 years, yet they think that what someone else had to say was dumb, or simple, so they start giving him a hard time. We're here to help guys who need it, or to learn. If you can't post something that is positive, then don't bother posting at all because all you're doing is wasting your energy to intentionally hurt someone and that's just plain stupid when you don't even know who the hell that person you're trying to hurt is. Save your energy and just walk away if you have nothing nice to say, cause I'm back and I'ma gonna start crackin' heads otherwise, so if anyone sees any trouble around, send me a PM.

If we all work together we can make this THE best forum on the net without a doubt.

Eh, its just a cycle. Very similar to most things if you ask me.

People come in influxes. Once certain influx has been around for a while, they get cocky. New influx comes, old influx starts to dislike the new influx. Old influx rags on new influx, people yell at old influx, old influx starts to drop because of the "stupid new influx" or the "stupid people who don't listen to their awesome advice" new influx grows, and learns, then another influx shows up.

Nothing new IMHO.

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Mimicking an artist never leads to true success... However becoming an artist mimicked is true success