Ever since i came to Ireland when i was 10 i became more depressed day by day
. There is nothing to do here and the case was that there were no beautiful women that would have met my standards before. But now it has gotten to the point where i just don't care even though i am surrounded by beautiful women. I feel like i am an unaccomplished person who's an embarrassment to my family.

I go to college , I am 19 years of age, jobless and officially women less. I am depressed nearly every day which is eventually gonna leave me to having zero friends since i am becoming more and more distant from humanity.

This is my story and i am asking you guys to give me some suggestions to heal my mind and maybe if you can, inspire me or motivate me to try.

In the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Habit 1 is motivating yourself; Habit 2 is aiming at your end result; Habit 3 is doing the things you need to do to achieve the results.

You my friend are stuck on Habit 1. You do not have any towards motivation to obtain HBs or any away from motivation to get out of Chodeness. I have a feeling this is a common thing in your life, not being motivated to develop into a better person.

May I recommend Anthony Robbin's Awaken the Giant Within? Its a book on motivating yourself.

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I hear a lot of guys say that they're going to give up on pick-up because it hasn't brought them happiness. Picking up women IS NOT the cure for depression. It simply isn't. It's a confidence booster. It's fun. But you can not allow your happiness to rely on how you are performing with women.

Get out more. The less social you are, the more depressed you'll end up being. Force yourself if you have to.

Workout. About a year ago I got into body building and it was one of my favorite decisions I've made. Beyond getting healthy and looking great, the confidence you get from working out is like no other.

Don't play videogames, watch TV (unless it's necissary), or go on the internet for an entire week.

Take in nature. Go for a walk or jog. I'm sure you can personally testify to the fact that just getting outside and enjoying nature is a very calming activity. Hang out in the sunshine. It's good for you.

STOP LISTENING TO DEPRESSING MUSIC. I know how easy it is to fall into that zone where you want to listen to Nine Inch Nails' "Hurt" over and over and over, but it's not going to help you. Start listening to upbeat music. Listen to positive music. I can't stress it enough.
Fabulous suggestion.

Funny I wrote an article that is just 10 threads below this posts... entitled "Who wants to be Happy, Confident and Successful?"

who-wants-to-be-happy-confident-and-suc ... 44292.html

Theres a link to that... and I would agree with the other guys... Tony has some fantastic material in his books... he is the life coach I model myself after the most.

Hey dude,
chin up, life can overcome u sometimes, especially some days are worse than others, i know ive been there, and still get down in the dumps, but at the end of the day man, you will be fine, no matter how much your head is telling you otherwise. Keep at it man, even if u dont use these pick-up skills to seduce women, just try an meet some new people, the more you do that, the more chance you will find some people who will make you happy and help you pull yourself out of the hole, and btw the way i used to think was to get out of the hole, you have to dig yourself into a hole, but that only makes things worse. And im not preaching man, but sometimes it helps to talk to people, and if you are really down, u should probably see someone about it, theres no shame in that what so ever, depression is the most overlooked disease in the world. Neways dude, hope u feel better.

thanks guys, i guess i can try some of those things.

the best answer that comes to my head is that this isn't about picking up women, it's about building a life, the rest comes by itself.

good luck

Airwave, sorry to hear you are going through that. Here's a couple of my thoughts.

OK,,, for one. Keep in mind that you are not alone. It's almost a normal thing to get feelings of depression at your age. It's very common. So don't feel like an outcast.

The Doc has a very good article. Read that. Do a google search for other ideas.

I'll tell you what's worked for me before. In your spot,, hey I've been there. In the shit. And the bad thing, looking ahead,,, you know there's nothing good coming your way anytime soon. You know it.

So what to do?

I'd suggest that if you don't like what you see around you today, to look ahead. What's your future? Where do you want to be? Start thinking about that. Start making plans to get to a place that will really turn you on. Set some goals and start working towards them.

Then in your slack time, instead of considering how miserable things are, you can think about the great things you hope to achive and put yourself there. And as proof that they are not bullshit, you can look at the steps you are actively taking to get there.

One last thing to consider. The human brain. If you think your brain is your buddy, let me tell you right now, that's bullshit. Your brain will screw you over quicker than anyone you know. Think about all the fear it feeds us when it's unneeded. Like with approaching women. Guys will actually tremble at the prospect. Why? What could happen that bad?

Same for depression. Your brain is actively trying to sink your boat. FIght it brother!

Just say "Brain,,, screw you this morning, I'm gonna take a vacation from depression till lunch, listen to some comedy and laugh my ass off.

Keep in mind, all those supper upbeat happy people you see that are so popular and people are drawn to. It may be your assumption that they are born that way. Let me tell you right now, most of them have to work on that positive attitude every single day. They see some bullshit negativity coming their way and they step aside. That's how it really works.

Good luck!

aw thanks dude that makes so much sense

Yesterday I was feeling like shit after work. It happens to me so much after work that I know it's not permanent.
I just tell myself it's only temporary then I wait and it just goes away lol.

You just have to find a way to deal with feeling bad cause it's always going to happen eventually. Most listen to the bad shit and give up; but just remember what your trying to do and know it's not happening over night.

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Getting the Hang of things

You need to seek some professional help. I don't say that to be a dick but to help you. You have problems that a PUA or dating coach can't fix. Somtimes you get students who are seeking dating advice, when they need to be talking to a psychiatrist, and it never really works out.

I will say that you have a negative frame of reference. Meaning everything you think of you jump to the negative, rather than the postive. A sort of vicious cycle of negative thinking.

I highly recommend talking to a psychiatrist and maybe even a change of scenery (i.e. moving)


S

Your post points to something so blantant I am surprised no one else has suggested it.

You seem like you are sufferring from straight up depression.

I'd get professional help.

Depression is shit, I hope you get through it man. (y)

Yo, I'm in the exact same stage--I made a thread just like this. The best thing to do is just to open up as best you can and let people into your life.

All these ideas that are being put out, about looking to a good future and visualising the steps that will lead you there, are spot on and really important. What I realize though is you can't control how you think, and how you feel. Its easy for someone to say 'think positive, go out, be social, have fun, be worry free....' but you can't force your brain's unconscious to actually respond to desired commands. We don't change on conscious effort. We can only develop and evolve slowly, just be patient and persistant with yourself.

If I could throw some advice to you, it's to take charge of things you can actually control - how you treat your body. Man oh man, eating well and excersising, can go a long way. Some dude posted that you are maybe clinically depressed, in my opinion depression is diagnosed waaay too often, and it will only lead pill popping and richer med companies. Trust me, the best antidote to depression is higher energy levels.. you can't be drepressed when you have energy - think about it.

Take full charge of what you eat (start by cutting out shit that your body is confused as fuck when it comes to digesting - simply carbs: refined sugar, starch, grains..) and do some real excersise, not crap pop 'excersise' like aerobic training (I could write a encyclopedia on the topic of fitness misconceptions - if you are interested research 'high intensity training' or go to thedreamlounge.blogspot.com, and read 'body by science' by doug mcguff).

Anyway man, I wish you the best.. I think 99% of the peeps on this site have been in those shoes, including myself. Peace

Sinn has a good point, i used to think that moving would change everything and i will become a new person. It does for about a month then i get settled in and become my old self again i thought i was goona become a completely different guy when comming to College, live by myself and all that but nope