Whether directly stated or implied subtly, the notion that a man should sleep with a woman he's interested in as soon as possible is present in almost every aspect of the pickup community. It is the primary focus of 99% of the material that attraction gurus have to offer and it simmers just below the surface of nearly all the literature I've ever seen on the subject of dating. Why is this?
Well, certainly a good portion of aspiring and practicing PUAs desire simply to lay as many women as possible as quickly as they can; and I'm not here to dissuade them from that goal, assuming it's really what they want and not something they think they "have" to do. But there are others who want real relationships--perhaps even, dare I say it, exclusive girlfriends-- who are still following this unspoken rule that as soon as a girl will let you into her panties, you must dive in enthusiastically or undoubtedly you'll suffer being relegated to the dreaded "friends zone."
Well my friends, I think that's all bullshit, and I'd like to propose a daring counter-argument:
Anticipation of great sex is a far more effective hook than great sex alone.
What does this mean? Simply put, it is possible to make a woman's desire for you grow to unimaginable heights if you don't give her what she wants exactly when she wants it. Yes, cat-string theory applies to the bedroom as well.
If you will, imagine the chemistry between you and a woman as steam in a pressure-cooker. If you give it some time, it will continue to build and grow until removing the lid results in a giant and far more climactic explosion of escaping moisture than if you were to vent the lid after only a short time. Do this in the right way, while continually escalating but never
quite giving her exactly what she wants, and all of a sudden you're cooking with thermonuclear power
With this theory in mind, I humbly present to you my favorite way of building this sort of all-consuming sexual desire: the no-sex sex gambit.
It starts with a simple role reversal. As things are heating up and it's time to move to the bedroom, stop suddenly and warn her, "I'm not sleeping with you tonight." Now, no woman in a million years has ever heard this come out of a man's mouth. After all, it's the woman's role to protest, right? If you had attraction before, now you
really have her attention.
Continue to move toward the bed and escalate as if you had never said you weren't sleeping with her. Once you're laying down, possibly with a few clothes off, tell her, "In fact, I want to play a game," and then explain the following rules to her.
1) Every method of foreplay and seduction is on the table
except actual sex, meaning no penis-to-vagina contact.
2) The goal is to make the other person give in before you, i.e. "Oh my god 870 I can't take it anymore, **** me right now!" Both parties are to put out as much effort as possible to this end, using all the tools at their disposal.
3) Whoever caves first loses. Or wins. I'm not sure which
Next, break your foreplay skills out and make her crazy. She will usually be freaking out and ready to cave in about 10 minutes but try to draw it out as long as possible (I have personally drawn it out as long as a week--man, what a great week!). "Uh uh, I said I wasn't sleeping with you tonight, remember?" You get the idea. I have personally field tested this tons of times and it's always gotten fantastic results.
*Word to the wise: stock up on Neosporin and bandaids ahead of time in preparation for all the scratches on your back when you guys finally do have sex
As always, any feedback, input, etc. (especially if you can think of a better name for the game lol) is more than welcome. I'd particularly like to hear what the ladies on the board think about this.
Your boy,
870
CHAT
And I need to put that into action more frequently, now that I think about it.
We'll see if I get some hot and juicy text later today...
