As I procrastinate...



Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 42 guests
Post new topic Reply to topic   Board index » Get Into The Game: New Forum Members Start Here » General Questions




Author Message
 Post subject: As I procrastinate...
PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2009 5:58 am 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Nov 19, 2008 4:57 am
Posts: 132
With the school year coming to a close, I've thought about things that have happened during the past several months. While most of it was good (landing an internship,doing well in classes, keeping in shape, etc.), I've hit the doldrums when it's come to my social life - particularly with women. This could revive soon because I'm 20 turning 21 soon, but it sparked a few thoughts/topics of conversation I wanted to post here:

1.) I've noticed a disturbing slope of which girls have rejected me over the past year (I'll give you the prime examples). A year ago, I got the LJBF speech...fine. About 7 months ago, a girl canceled a date and apologized with what seemed to be a valid excuse, we set up another date, and she stands me up. Four months ago, a girl I got to know last semester pretended to be sick over the phone to cancel a date, then made an obviously-fake excuse the next time. After that, we lost contact - I haven't even seen her all semester. Just a couple weeks ago, a girl who I had a great conversation with at a party (lasted 20-25 mins) has simply ignored me when I've tried to contact her. This one has legs because she's working for me next year due to power ranks in an extra-curricular, so that will be interesting. What's happened recently coincides with no girls responding to anything I do, whether it's a brief facebook post, a call/text, or any girl even initiating a conversation! Nothing I say is screaming desperation or anything like that, and I know my game has definitely improved over the past year, although it's not near perfect. However' I'm stumped about why things here continue to slide, not rise. I've seen quiet guys, shy guys, nervous guys, guys who could really use some grooming and hygiene, selfish guys, rude guys, etc. do just fine when it comes to simply COMMUNICATING with a girl, even at the most basic stage. For whatever reason though, I simply feel...irrelevant.

2.) I learned that if girls - commonly in a class - act coldly towards you, it might be because you are actually better than them. It might not be something bad you're doing! :wink: I know that sounds very conceited, but I've asked a couple of intelligent friends about the situation in some of my classes and they brought up some good points. My public speaking class is the case in point. I have a lot of experience speaking in front of others and it's nothing new. For the first third of the semester, when I got off to a good start, I couldn't get any reaction out of the girls in the class. Not a "good job" or a "Hey what's up" - nothing. The next third of the semester, as everyone's speech grades improved due to tips from the professor, I was able to get responses from the girls much more easily. Sometimes, they were even coming up to me to talk or to compliment my speeches! However, the final third of the semester featured speeches where we had to innovate and make things our own due to very similar topics the Professor gave us (so it really tested us). To separate myself from everyone else, I brought out the props, the theatrics and all my other tricks at this time. All of a sudden, I was getting the cold shoulder again. My roommate came up with this conclusion: girls will compliment and act nicely towards those who seem "below" them. Guys who can trump them on things like this when they put in the effort, girls tend to act more negatively to out of envy. Perhaps I was doing something unintentionally that rubbed them all the wrong way as well...I have no idea.

3.) My tip to you guys for this post...accept being the "target" and the "bull's eye" - if you can handle it. One other thing I have learned this semester is that it's better to be the one everyone is gunning for rather than just "one in the bunch" - you're the leader. I feel it pushes you to do your best because you know that people are waiting for you to make that one mistake so they can swoop in. However, it's a double-edged sword. In social situations, it makes you the target of c*ck-blocking, spite and a possible scapegoat if something goes wrong in a group. If you can overcome the adversity, you're stronger than any of them. In fact, I'd go as far as to say it's actually a compliment that they're so focused on you...it means they see you as the threat or the one to beat.

If you have any solution to the puzzling situation of topic #1 and any thoughts on topics #2 and #3 here, I would really appreciate it.


Last edited by All-American on Sun May 03, 2009 5:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2009 5:29 am 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Nov 19, 2008 4:57 am
Posts: 132
Do you guys have any suggestions about what I feel is a concerning situation (#1)? Things from even a year ago have apparently deteriorated. In the post above, I explain how even when I post a quick note on a Facebook wall or send a call or text or w/e to a girl that I know (through class or a party or anything along those lines), I get no response. These aren't even girls I have any feelings for! When it does come to making a move, the obviously-fake excuses and now the refusal to even acknowledge it makes me feel a bit irrelevant; it's like they don't take me seriously. :cry: I feel I present myself just fine; I'm not stumbling, mumbling or looking away, and I feel I have strong conversation skills and good wit. My sticking point is immediately building escalation, but I don't feel that would be a major reason why I'm going from actual rejections to simply no response at all - especially when my game has improved.

As for my other two points in the thread...which center around being the target...what do you guys think? If I learned one thing throughout this past semester, it's that I kinda like being the one everyone is gunning for. It propels me to do my best. My feeling is that if others are going after you or trying to take you down, it's a bit of a compliment because you're viewed as superior. However, this doesn't particularly help in some social situations, if girls aren't really a fan of the "favorite."


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2009 6:25 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Sun Apr 05, 2009 10:00 pm
Posts: 483
Yahoo Messenger: Coreyko_2003
Regarding #1: Give up.....seriously...or atleast put girls on hold for a bit...

Regarding #2: I can see where you're coming from with that


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2009 2:52 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Nov 19, 2008 4:57 am
Posts: 132
Quote:
Regarding #1: Give up.....seriously...or atleast put girls on hold for a bit...

Regarding #2: I can see where you're coming from with that
Giving up...hahahahahahahaha, funny. I think I'm just in a bit of a rut or a bit of a slump lately, and it's a matter of me shaking out of it. In person, everything is fine for the most part. It's just when I try to contact them afterwards OR if I'm making a move where this sort of stuff happens. Luckily, I get four months off from school in week or so. My goal heading into next year is to come in with tons of swagger and intensity and things like that. I am a little bit too self-conscious at times, and I'm going to try and erase that.

As for the other two points (which have similar points), it was just an observation I made.

If anyone else has any thoughts, feel free to comment.


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link