ok here are the latest news on my one-itis:
just received and e-mail from her answering the one I sent yesterday. she says that she's sorry that she couldn't reply earlier and that she wants to study what I sent to her yesterday together in the morning. and she finished by saying "thank you a 1000 times for everything"
I answered with a sort e-mail saying: "OK. I'll see you in the morning. BUT don't prepare my coffee before I arrive because I heard of regular use of the day rape drug in your area LOL"
well my next moves:
1. tomorrow I'm going to call her and cancel the study
2. in the evening I'm going to text her that I'm going to celebrate some great news I just received (actually I received them today and they aren't that great) and ask her to come along. If she'll say yes it means that she doesn't look at me only as a study partner is it?????

Any ideas people????

another update:
a mutual friend told her that I bought her a present and she replied "OK if he wants he'll give it to me"
WTF?????????

but after a while she said: "thank god I have a 3 years old very strong relationship with X"
WTF?????????

I think there is more going on then you may see.

If anything she sees you as a needy friend, not being in the situation i cant tell. This may be a girl you will have to stay friends with, for the time being, stop being around her and change your image.

_________________
"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."

well,
I don't think that she sees me as needy. after the first time I asked her out (and she flaked) I never initiated any of our contacts or even asked her out again. she's the one that calls for help
last night she sent me an email saying that she's unhappy and frustrated but she will be OK when she'll see me in the morning...
anyway, today I went to her place to continue her hw and she had on her computer a wallpaper of her and her ugly fat BF and a screensaver with another photo of them but every time she was trying to hide them!!!
I kept my calm and although I wanted to laugh I manage to stay focused and talked only about her hw. she started touching me and asking when I'm going to read her palm or go to the place she works but I kept avoiding answering.
I'm going to keep my distance with her and let her see what she's missing
BUT as I was living she said that she'll email me and asked if she can call me if she'll feel frustrated to calm her down. finally she said that she decided that she will come to my class from now on!!!!

You're being her emotional tampon.

She uses you to validate herself when her BF isn't involved or is being annoying.

She knows you want her and she knows she's in control.

Move on.

Take Dr Sinn's prescription of turning off the computer, getting out of the house and approaching at least 1 new woman.

Repeat daily until you forget about this girl.

S

Cant agree more here.

Your an outlet when times are rough, and when i say needy, when she calls, you answer, your there, and she sees someone that is trying for her attention. Directly or indirectly, its happened.

She cant figure out her homework...who does she call for the answer?
She is frustrated with her relationship...who does she call to comfort her?

she realized a while ago, that you will be there for her when she needs you...but only in the capacity she allows. She gets her way and takes you as being weak.

The more she talks to you, the more she is around you, the harder it would be for you to walk away. She knows this, your being played.

you have two choices, walk away or continue to be the guinea pig...

_________________
"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."

thank you both D.C. and Sinn
you are correct...
I really want to follow your advice and walk away, and I do understand that this is the best solution.
could I ask you one more thing? how can I walk away without having to hurt her? the next week is very important for her and she asked me to help her (she actually asked if I could go to her place on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday) and as you already know from Monday she'll be in my class!!!!
during the class I can avoid her, since there are a couple of other girls that I'm "playing" with and therefore I can stay away from her and focus on them. after all in my class I have already taken the Alpha male position by eliminating all the competition.
what would you do if you were in my shoes?

well,
I guess I earned a couple of points for myself today
she called me at least 6 times during the last hour but I managed to avoid answering
the funny thing is that she begun calling when a friend told her that I was going out with a girl tonight
well, if she wanted to ask anything about her hw she already knows my e-mail and she could use it....
I'm one step closer to brake the chains of my one-itis
tomorrow of course are the big tests: being in the same class and having to tell her that I can't go to her place on Tuesday (I'm going to ask her if she manage to solve any of the exersises I gave her last week and if she says no -which I believe she'll say- I'll tell her call me when you will finish them but not before Thursday 'cause I have other things to do)
well, I'm proud of myself (at least until tomorrow)

Hi dude,
way to go tiger.

it seems that it is gonna be showdown in the OK corral tomorrow. Good luck and stick to your guns.

Looks like you have cracked it!! Let her sweat it out from here on out.

here I am again. I just returned home
in the morning she called me a couple of times but again I avoided answering.
anyway she came to the class a bit late and I already was sitting between two other girls on the far away corner.
when he had our cigarette break she came to talk to me but I was talking to the other girls of the class and had her wait for her turn.
the funny thing is that the whole class begun saying how fortunate they are to have me in the class because I can explain the lesson better than our professor.
I told her that since she never answered my last e-mail I made other plans for tomorrow and I can't go to her place for tutoring. she said that she was very sorry and that she was calling yesterday to go for a coffee.
after the class she asked me if I could stay for a few minutes and explain something to her. I said yes and we talked for about 10-15 minutes. I told her that I had to go and we'll talk. she was ready to cry (she said that she is very frustrated with her hw) and that only with me she can feel better.
she asked me to hug her and she kissed me on my cheeks (friendly)
then I told her again that I have to go and after saying goodnight I left
now we'll meet again on Thursday (in the class)

you dont have to be an asshat to her, remember that, the biggest thing is things need to be done on your time. Before you would jump when she asked you to, that needs to change, and from the sounds of it, your on the right steps.

for example, she wants you to come over on a tuesday, say you cant, the only time you have available is wed at this time for this long. This example can be used any day of the week you determine fits you best. If she says she cant that day, her lose, your a busy man.

Make sure she always sees you in a fun friendly light with other people, including attractive females. If she asks why you cant stay longer, mention you are meeting up with a date or going to hang out with a couple of the girls in the class. Dont say it with a arrogant tone, say it friendly like hanging out with girls is no big deal to you.

make her come to you, make her fit your schedual, if she cant, dont give in. Ill bet that she will be so frustrated with her HW simply because she never had to think for herself, she always had you. This process of not being around her all the time anymore, of not giving in to her time or her demands, is the same as making her miss you.

_________________
"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."

yeah, i agree with dc. when she wants you to jump through hoops...take the hoop and make her jump through yours first. ..."help you study?, only if you come to my place and bring that fresh starbucks latte too." dadadada...

Improve your overall inner game....with tight inner game...half of the advice given here would not be necessary.

On buying tickets....would you do that with a guy friend you've just known for a month? I wouldn't....or anyone you've only known for a month for that matter....way too much push and no pull.

Concerning the topic title....you don't "have" to do anything.

Unless she gives you something (provides value)...don't give her something freely unless she deserves it or at the very least..... qualifies herself. You are the man....she lives in your reality. Push pull....she must at least meet you half way. I'd explain this more...but no time.

that's my two cents I'd figure I'd spill since I've read. G'luck mate.

Oh, and some BF destroyers would do wonders too.

_________________
The hotter they are, the harder they fall....for me.

ok another update:
I went to her house today (after she begged for help)
while we where talking about her hw (she has to have it ready on Saturday) she asked me if I have a girlfriend and when I answered "why do you want to be the one?" she just laughed...
she asked me (again) to read help palm but I told her that it takes too much time so she said that we must go out with her car someday and find the time. I negged her and we agreed to go with my car first and then with hers.
she accepted all the kino tests (even the "inner elbow, arm" test)
finally she asked me to go to her place again tomorrow to finish the hw and I said "OK, I'll try to make it" and she begun begging again
What next?????
I'm thinking of telling her tomorrow that since she finishes her hw on Saturday we could go out on Sunday to celebrate .... Is it a good idea, or should I wait for her to say it???

I don´t know bud but I think that from what you are saying she is giving you major iois so give it a whirl.

but do it slick, sound non needy, as if it would be nice to celebrate but either way it is no big deal, ok?
good luck

Oh! boy, she's using you! I know because I've done the same, I have a friend who's a computer genius and I flirt and accept kino escalations because he helps me when I need him. We women are terrible!

My advice, either you stop helping her with her hw, and just date her. Which is difficult because you already have a friendship. Or you help her with her hw (which makes you a nice guy) but stop all kino, act cold, cold really cold. when she notices the change she'll be very curious because you're still helping her (that means she doesn't has to pretend any more that she likes you in order to get your help) which will actually make her feel inevitably attracted to you. When she asks what happens, tell her you don't like to flirt with girls that have a BF. Tell her you're dating another girl and actually thinking to ask her to be your gf. If she's really into you, it will be obvious, if she doesn't care, she's just using you.