Hey Guys I don't know where else to post this hopefully someone can help me out. and maybe this can help other guys out.. the basic question that I can't seem to find in all the books and research is: once someone has a girl attracted to them, and for whatever reason you lose that attraction, is it possible to regain that attraction back?
- I'll tell you my story in a nutshell because it is long and most of you guys are prob going to make fun of me haha
anyway I had a girlfriend (smoking hot) for 7 years did my thing on the side but due to my long term relationship I lost a lot of my game.. There was this girl lets call her Riah that was an acquaintance always had a boyfriend and "untouchable" an apsolulte dime piece solid 10 and the sweetest cool girl I've ever met. She's two years younger than me in college finishing up her last semester.. we end up hanging out over winter break when she came home from school. She told me she had broken up with her boyfriend and I told her that me and my girlfriend were on the rocks.. We end up hooking up on the 3rd date.. This to me was the hottest coolest girl i've ever hooked up with and I,ve done very well for myself in the past. Anyway I decided right then and there to break up with my girlfriend because I didn't want everything to blow up in my face (both girls live very close to each other) On the 5th date I took her to a broadway show.. had an amazing time had a great connection.. went back to my house hooked up no sex just oral, and cuddled like the world was coming to an end she had told me she only had sex with her 3 serious boyfriends, I accepted it thinking ill be her boyfriend at some point. Anyway I get an email the next day from her saying that she thinks im an amazing person that shes so happy to have met me and that she likes me a lot and that she wants to take things slow because she just came out of a long relationship and shes going back to school for her final semester but that she really looks forward to more great times, and seeing where this is going to go.. I accepted that but thats where the REBOUND status kicked in!! i lost my cool attidude and became very insecure with this girl I wrote her back kinda a mushy email saying that i felt the same way and that I cant wait to see her again total AFC SHITT!! grrr anyway she ends up going back to school (only an hour 1/2 away) and thats when I fuck things up I become insecure/rebound status and act like a boyfriend calling her to say goodnight everynight asking her if i can come up there on my days off etc etc. but the icing on the cake was this: She came home to visit me 2 weeks after she went away.. we go out for dinner and drinks and then to a club, it was amazing- holding hands making out in public talking about future plans etc etc. well at the end of the night she ends up drinking too much and getting sick, I try and take her home but she says she still wants to come to my house, so I agree. We end up passing out with each other, a few hours later we both wake up and start hooking up hardcore, one thing leads to another I get her naked I'm ass naked were basically playing "just the tip" and of course one thing leads to another and it slips in and i fuck her.. she has told me from the get go that she has been tested and on the pill.. so in my drunken horny stupor I end up busting in her!! well she ends up telling me that she hasn't taken the pill in the last month because she wasn't sleeping with anyone and we end up having to get the morning after pill.. Since then she distanced her self from me which made me push harder on her, she ends up flaking out on a concert we were soposed to go to and gives me the "lets just be friends for now" speech how she was really feeling it in the begining but then after she went away to school she wasnt feeling it as much (I knew I fucked up it was mostly me). well that was almost 2 months ago we talk maybe twice a week Ive smoothed over the sex thing and everything else. and told her I'm down to be friends. She says shes down to hang out but that I cant go up to her school because shes hooking up with this guy, but made it clear that it wasn't serious and that its not going to go anywhere, but that it would be awkward if I came up to visit. I'm ok with that. I spoke to her last week and asked if she wanted to go see another broadway show when she came home in the summer she agreed and said she was excited for it. Now my problem is that this girl is very touch and go Ill call her we'll talk for 2 hours on the phone one week and then the next week she will totally ignore me calling, or even on AOL IM ill throw her like a Neg and she either wont respond or sign off. But 3 days later Ill call her shell pick up and well talk. ( I know she is super busy with a thesis and school work) Its really fucking me up in the head.. Im obviously not deaded because she will respond to me here and there maybe 2 times out of 5 when I reach out to her (I know its pathetic) It's the worst case of one-its ever.. No homo but i'm head over heels for this girl. Now that i've been studdying the art of PUA and NLP even fucking magic tricks I feel like all I need is one or two more dates with her and i'm back in. I could use all the advice I can get guys I'm losing it over here!! thank you

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"I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious."

You brought new meaning to the phrase "in a nutshell"
I didn't read most of it but I did read like the last 2 lines and based off of those my advice would slowly cut down of the amount of time you 2 spend talking and then after 2 weeks if you still like her text her and say "hey we should catch up, coffee?" or something like that. again, idk how well that will relate because thats based off just part of the last 2 lines

haha sorry brotha I know I just think its best that I put as much details as to what happened so you guys could read the situation better - thanx I know in my gut the best thing is to let it be maybe reach out to her once a week.. fucked up thing is believe it or not she doesn't have txt msging on her phone! so i gotta call. It just drives me apsolutley nuts how one week shell totally avoid me like im deaded. then the next week shell pick up my call on the 2nd ring and well have a good fun convo.. driving me nuts Im so tempted to ask her whats thats all about but I know is shouldnt let her know it bothers me right?

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"I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious."

Well I had one-itis super bad over this last summer and i kept acting like a complete AFC (I always told her good night sweet dreams, always went out of my way to help her, etc.) Then she slowly stopped calling me to hang out and stuff and I would always text her "why do you keep ignoring me" and shit. Trust me, even if she doesn't show it that kinda stuff annoys her. The best thing to do in that situation is just give it a week or 2 where you barely talk then ask to catch up and give it another go.. However I don't have high hopes for situations like this, sometimes it's just too far gone and you gotta move on

Hi,

one itis is a tough mind fuck. your mind bombards you with thoughts of her 24=7.
but mate dont sweat it!!!

besides women can do a hot and cold routine on you, leave you feeling great one minute and then the next drop you like a rock. it is just something some do to fuck you around. dont take it and dont chase. you can go out and find someone who isnt going to play about with you. DHV and play it cool.
and above all, take it easy.
just my two cents.

straight up, i did not read the entire thing. actually i didnt read most of it. just the replies to get an understanding of what that massive text block was about.

your mind right now is telling you that you have to find a way to impress this girl, to make her realize shes wrong and your right, you think once that happens then boom all is well. she will come running to you apologizing for her mistakes.

now its time for reality. The reality is, the more you push the farther she goes, the less it all effects you the father you go.

many times, when i guy gets to close to a woman to fast. the woman backs off. Then she comes back seeing if things are different, then backs off. This repeats untill the man is on medication or she leaves. This is one scenario, but it may fit even if it gives you a simple idea.

When she comes back and everything seems good, she then pulls away and you are left confused and wanting answers. the more you push for answers the longer she leaves for up till the point she wants nothing to do with you.

The best solution is self discovery. Back off and work on your self confidence and mind frame. Keep in contact but keep it breef. If you want to invite her out for something, then go ahead. just dont sound needy or pushy.

attraction once lost is harder to get then the frist time around, only time is your ally.

_________________
"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."

thanx guys def some good advice...

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"I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious."

NYC,

I appreciate the detail. I feel i can properly diagnose your case. I'm a starter in t he game, and i'm currently going through something similar with my one-itis down in Miami. I'll share the feedback i've been getting from others regarding my one-itis: slow your role! My god dude she has all of the power! You're not even pitching fast balls or curve balls, you're setting the ball on the tee, giving her the bat, and letting her slap those balls to whatever part of the field she desires.

Step 1 is string theory. Back off & neg. Remember what got her initially attracted to you in the 1st place. If you communicate with her 5 times per week, and she responds twice, scale back to 2x per week. I know it sucks, because all you think about 24/7 is HER, but it will help, if not work.

Scan the newbie forum, there is a thread regarding when a girl is on your mind 24/7, it's a subconscience thing that the females can detect and it instantly turns them off. When you're cocky&funny, neg, and utilize kino & string theory, they want you more.

Just bring this broad back to basics bro. She'll drop this play thing at school and soon you'll be lovin life on broadway with her in your arm. Don't be afraid to lose her. Only then will you actually put yourself in the position to win her.

~Ace

Thanx guys great advice.. I called her tonight she ended up Instant msging me online instead of calling me saying shes super busy with this thesis and about to go to sleep.. She asked what I called about and I told her I was going to be up near her school at a friends house helping do work (which is half true) and that we should do lunch or something.. she responded by saying that she has a lot going on and she just wants to spend this last month at school with her girl friends and focus on graduating etc etc.. I accepted this and said thats totally cool and to do her thing and good luck with school. I told her that I didn't sweat it and that after the smoke cleared with the whole situation I realized that she wasn't my type, and we are just friends (to bring her guard down) heard this from one of the PUA's- but that shes a cool girl, we had fun hanging out and that well do the broadway show after school is over and have a sick time.. she agreed and said shes happy we are on the same page. So I guess this is now where i have to lay off hardcore... wait at least a week or two to call to see how things are doing. I'm basically puting all my money on this broadway show/dinner/drinks where I can lay down everything Ive picked up- String theory, push and pull, Kino, NLP, jedi mind trick etc etc. plus my charming self and good looks lol.. only mountain I have to climb is making sure she doesnt flake on me. thanks again guys any more advice would be greatly apreciated

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"I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious."

more advice? dont spend money on the broadway show. Unless of course you really want to go yourself. If she flakes, take me and we can have fun meeting other women.

_________________
"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."

The thread is called "the fundamental error of AFC's" if you have trouble finding it

@NYC

My friend, you really need to back off. You are at the point of screwing everything up (if you didn't already). Just as all these guys told you, keep during a 2-3 week period distance with maybe very little and brief contact. And for God's sake, do not use every opportunity to explain to her how you understand and accept everything. Also, do not use every opportunity to hint her that you two should go and do something. Do this after 2-3 weeks (in the meantime having not spoken her much).

Instead, ake sure you game her by doing this:

1. When you get the opportunity, keep it brief, make sure you end the conversation first (don't hang in there till she announced she has to go!) by implying that you are busy and have some thing to do or finish.
2. Keep playful, neg her a bit
3. When she agrees to do something with you, don't get too excited about it. It makes you behave like a pussy when she is in front of your face. Just remain cold, cool, playful. However, when you have been thinking about her almost all the time and living towards this very moment when she is there with you, remaining cool is very difficult , even impossible. You really need to become a little bit indifferent about her. Not only pretending, but really feel it this way. I guess, if she wants anything from you right now, than it is this!
4. Find some other women to game. Very important for you at this point as you need to be 'saved'. The more women, the better! It will bring your energy to a higher level, you will 'forget' a bit about this HB and when/if she reappears, she will feel it. You will be much more fun and interesting (and attractive) to her. Only at this point, you take up your game with her again, not before!

Keep this in mind and get some material about the inner game. It's all in the basics.

Good luck man!

PS: next time when writing a long post, put some blank lines here and there.

Hey Gamer thats great advice thanx a lot i Know in my gut thats what i have to do i never thought id be caught up like this the thinking about her 24/7(literally) and thinking about what im gonna say to her or even what msg im gonna leave her to make her call me back etc. i feel like such a pussy ive never experianced that before- ive always been the guy with the super hot girlfriend and confident, thats how I got the girl. when I broke up with my girlfriend to date this girl i automatically thought id retain that confidence.. but the second i felt this girl slip a little and she went back to school partying it up I lost every ounce of confidence i had and became the ultimate AFC. Not to toot my own horn but im young (25) into body building im a good looking guy(no homo) and on top of that Im a detective with NYPD i have a lot going for me, but this broad sucked every ounce of confidence out of me. Its horrible and when she doesnt return a call it gets worse and i get full of anxeity (which ive never experianced before either)

PS i started dating my ex girlfriend again but i know its because of insecurity and the fact that im still caught up bad over this girl is really fucking my shit up but i simply cant shake it this broad did something to me... Thanx again guys for the advice being a cop i know how important it is to have brothers to back you up in bad times..

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"I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious."

Seems like this chick really nailed you . It's OK, this happens often.

No matter how much you have going on and how successful you are, a women can drain you to the point where you feel you are nothing, but only if you allow her so! I don't know about this ex of yours, she probably loves you very much, you should think about that. Allowing a chick who just comes falling from the sky, screwing you like this, is not good. If you don't think to make up with your ex, I suggest you get out and sarge for other women. Your ex will probably not help you much. But, again, maybe you want to be with her again if she fits well for you. No matter what, never allow a women you don't know well to come under your skin so easily, it screws you up!

And believe me, when you are dating multiple women at the same time, then only you will have that feeling of having a lot going on. You feel better, more in control and women around you feel this too and for some weird reason have more respect for you. Don't appear as a player, however, this is not the best way to do it. This is called inner game (mindset, feeling, frame control, confidence a lots more).

Find some material for reading about inner and outer game and keep sarging a lot. And keep us informed.

You guys are gonna think this is weak but hey at this point ill take any sign of life as a good thing.. So I put up an Away msg on AOL- "RIP Heroes never die- youll never be forgotten." Regardiing my grandpa who passed away 5 years ago that day. anyway I get an instant msg from the girl at 330 AM saying "hey is everything alright what happened?" I briefly explain what the away msg meant and she responds by saying "ok I just wanted to make sure your ok." I then tell her i had to go to bed and i sign off. (mind you she hasnt imed me first in about 2 months)To me this shows that she somehwat still gives a fuck about me (right?) anyway im going to stick to everyones advice and call her next week keeping it brief with some neging and non AFC talk..

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"I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious."