It's tough to find parties at my school (a lot more bars for the 21+ crowd), but it's nice when my friends and I find a party where we can walk around and do things without much complication.

Tonight, an attractive girl came up to me and introduced herself. We recognized each other due to extra-curricular things we have that cover some of the same spots (we have similar interests as a result), but this has only been a few times, so I didn't really know her. Whatever it was though, we just hit it off.

I'm used to talking to girls for a few minutes, hopefully getting a number and then moving on. While this plan works in that I look busy, I can see more girls and I get numbers, it hasn't worked because I never create that connection, that attraction. This time however, things went differently. I learned from a friend that we talked for close to half an hour...I would have guessed it was 15 minutes tops! It seemed to fly right by.

Of course, when we both had to go, we exchanged numbers. For what it's worth, the girl didn't put her full name in, she wrote her first name and then something I'd remember her by. Her friend, who I also met and got along with, joked, "You don't think he'll remember you just by your name? "

Overall, I feel things went well. One of my friends says if she wasn't into me, then she would have left much earlier. He and my other friends said they thought things went real well from where they stood. The only thing I feel a little down about is that I didn't try to hook up with her right there. My gut told me it probably wouldn't have gone as smoothly as one would think...neither of us were too buzzed, it was in a bright room with people milling around, and she doesn't seem to be the promiscuous type. Sure, it could partly be excuses on my part, but this is how my gut felt. My sticking point is escalating things at parties like this, and I wished I was better at it for this instance. I don't get nervous over most things, but apparently here I do.

I plan on calling or texting her tomorrow or Monday, trying to throw some C+F in there, and hopefully arranging a time to meet up soon...only three weeks left of school until we are home for summer (although we only live just over an hour from each other). If you guys have any insights or things you'd like to point out or any other thoughts, I'd appreciate it.

Any thoughts? Things seemed to go well, I felt there was a connection of some sort that could bloom into more. As I mentioned, my sticking point is I can't escalate real well - it would have been nice to make a move right here, but I didn't feel the environment was a good place for it (neither of us were at all drunk, it was a bright room where there was mostly mingling, etc).

Sounds like it went well bro. I would for sure call her and invite her somewhere casual. I wouldn't text, because once you get a girl used to texting you, it's hard to position up to actually talking on the phone.

Good luck and play the game well!

~Ace

Thanks. I called her later this past evening...I got her voicemail so I left a very quick message, just saying what's up, call me back, etc. I'll leave my C+F for when I actually talk to her. If I don't hear from her by Wednesday late afternoon, I'll try again. If that doesn't succeed, I may have to cut my losses. It'd just be frustrating if this is how it ended.

I'd also be left scratching my head. This girl and I were talking for about 20 minutes (if not longer?), she could have wandered off a lot sooner, but didn't. Her friend came by...and this girl stayed. If you argue she just wanted attention...there were a lot of other guys at this party. I'd just be confused.

I wouldn't rush to take it so personal, she could be caught up with school/work/anything else life brings. Maybe she's nervous to call back? Who knows. Play it cool, wait a few days, and call back. If she doesn't answer you might want to leave a little message, jokingly saying "phone tag, you're it!" or "ya know, the only way you're going to find out how amazing I am is if you come in to contact with me again...." you might have to unleash some cocky/funny.

hahaha yeah I will definitely try one of the C+F things if I can't get a hold of her. While there are plenty of reasons why she didn't pick up or respond to my message, I have the haunting suspicion that I probably didn't create enough attraction. Moving things forward in this area is my sticking point, and I'm trying to improve.

Normally, I like to use lots of C+F. However, for some reason, we just dove right into all this conversation stuff and I didn't stop to realize I should change things up a little. She did stay around the whole time and contributed to at least half the convo (if not more), but I feel the lack of my usual C+F game could be trouble.

you are over thinking the situation and its driving you crazy. relax! the fact that you guys had a long, great conversation is an IOI. also the fact that she came up to you, IOI. your doing well! dont beat yourself up for a good job bro. chicks want a man with confidence, not who doubts himself.


i like what ace said about the 'tag your it' if she doesnt answer again and you called at a normal time that she wouldnt be busy (when she is in class, doing her extracurricular activities you mentioned, maybe sleeping, the morning time, dinner time, ect. are bad times). i just thought, maybe try texting? texting can be detrimental like ace said, but it makes a conversation much easier and you can think about what your going to say, instead of being on the spot like you would be if you were on the phone. also, if you text her and she doesnt reply all day, that is a instant cue that things may not work. she might be intimated by you too, and scared to answer or return your calls. think of it that way. texting eliminates a lot of problems and is the comfortable, exceptable thing to do, specially if your under 20.

Thanks for the confidence Hucker. FYI, I'm almost 21 lol, but it's that same age group you're talking about. The IOI's that you're referring to were there, but it doesn't look like that was enough. I sent a light-hearted C+F to her today (not "tag, you're it", but something with the same tone) and haven't heard back. If I don't hear back by tomorrow afternoon, I may have to call it quits. I'm debating if one more phone call would be worth it (no message if she doesn't pick up), but if she hasn't responded by now, it'll probably stay that way.

I've experienced all sorts of weird things like this with girls (one pretended to actually be sick, but that's for another time), so it's more frustrating than anything else. I thought I could make something out of what happened Saturday night, but it looks like it won't work. Should be interesting though when she's working under me for an extra-cirricular thing we are in next year (I'm in charge of a new thing we are doing and hire my own crew).