Overcoming baldness insecurity



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PostPosted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 2:48 am 
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Hi!

I'm very young (22 yo) and already balding. This hits hard on my self esteem.

I'm trying to learn PU to be a better person. But it's hard to have confidence when you feel like shit about your head.

Are there any bald PUAs here? What do you do to have a different mindset and overcome this pain?


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 4:14 am 
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I started balding at 21. My biological father has had a bald patch on the back of his head for as long as I can remember and I always teased him and said that I wouldn't go bald because it was passed on the mother's side and my hair was way too thick. I spent from 16-20 doing all sorts of things with my hair, dying it, putting in it crazy styles, even participated in a hair fashion show to get some free stuff done one time. My hair was pretty much my only vanity and then it started falling out and now if I don't shave it frequently, after about 4-5 days it starts to look scraggly and shitty.

My solution, "Bald is a choice, balding isn't." I shave my head with a beard trimmer (I'm not a fan of the Bic look) every few days and I grew a nice goatee to balance it out. Unfortunately one of my current jobs required me to shave my beard, but it still looks better to have a nice shaved head than look like I'm 30 years older than I really am.

To cope with the issue, just remember that chicks LOVE bald guys! They think it's hot and I always have girls rubbing my head when it is freshly shaved. Depending on how thin your hair is you may just want to buzz it really close rather than fully shave it (I did that for a year or two) just find something that you feel makes you look good and be confident that girls don't really care what your hair looks like, as long as it looks good and that definitely includes short, or a complete lack of hair.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 4:15 am 
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Quote:
Hi!

I'm very young (22 yo) and already balding. This hits hard on my self esteem.

I'm trying to learn PU to be a better person. But it's hard to have confidence when you feel like shit about your head.

Are there any bald PUAs here? What do you do to have a different mindset and overcome this pain?
I know what you mean. Im 19 and Im like shedding. Although it's sorta my fault for the shedding. The gears really tear at the hair and make them shed.

Just curious How far along are you in balding?

There are two options that I thought about well actually 3.

There's 1 shave it all off.

the other option is to hit minoxidil/SPAM 2% shampoo/finastride. Do keep in mind that the finastride/propecia is a 5AR inhibitor which means it blocks DHT simply speaking that your sex drive will drop at the same time. How bad will it drop? It will be somewhat noticeable but it varies for individuals. Some see horrible kill in libido while others notice a small drop while some notice none what so ever. The horrible drop in libido is rare and so is no change in your sex drive. It will drop, depends on how long though.

I have had some decent success with SPAM/finastride/minoxidil. My hair was thin as hell and shedding like massive when I tried dbols for 3 weeks. Absolute wreck to my hair.

Another thing I noticed that may help you if you don't want to jump onto finastride is just plain topical SPAM. Minoxidil/rogaine is proven to regrow hair in the back of your head but not the front. However I have noticed front growth as I caught it really early.

If you really want to read up more

http://anabolicminds.com/forum/steroids ... ntion.html

Also where to order some stuff topical wise www.minoxidil.com

You need to make an email consultation with dr.lee which cost 10 bucks for a one time fee, but afterwards your all set to order. A stack of minoxidil to regrow hair, SPAM to whip off excess DHT on the scalp along with spirolactone really helped prevent DHT from attacking the hair follicles which also causes less shedding.

Do keep in mind minoxidil is a life time commitment though. So is finastride. There have been quite a few things you can do yourself and the first steps are probably topical minoxidil/SPAM and spirolactone all topical along with laser brush probably.

Then next step is finastride. If you handle that well you may even want to look into a hair transplant if it really gets at your self esteem. Thats something that you consider in your 30's though. And you would need all of the above to be used for life.

I don't know who tells you that looks don't matter though. Im sure people will post it here, but it does get you if your like me, someone who had sooo much hair and to lose some. It gets at your self esteem eventhough no one has noticed at all.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 4:33 am 
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I started balding at 21. My biological father has had a bald patch on the back of his head for as long as I can remember and I always teased him and said that I wouldn't go bald because it was passed on the mother's side and my hair was way too thick. I spent from 16-20 doing all sorts of things with my hair, dying it, putting in it crazy styles, even participated in a hair fashion show to get some free stuff done one time. My hair was pretty much my only vanity and then it started falling out and now if I don't shave it frequently, after about 4-5 days it starts to look scraggly and shitty.

My solution, "Bald is a choice, balding isn't." I shave my head with a beard trimmer (I'm not a fan of the Bic look) every few days and I grew a nice goatee to balance it out. Unfortunately one of my current jobs required me to shave my beard, but it still looks better to have a nice shaved head than look like I'm 30 years older than I really am.

To cope with the issue, just remember that chicks LOVE bald guys! They think it's hot and I always have girls rubbing my head when it is freshly shaved. Depending on how thin your hair is you may just want to buzz it really close rather than fully shave it (I did that for a year or two) just find something that you feel makes you look good and be confident that girls don't really care what your hair looks like, as long as it looks good and that definitely includes short, or a complete lack of hair.
yeah the whole mother's father side crap is BS. My grandpa has full thick curly hair at 70. No sign of balding at all. My dad is nearing 50 and he doesnt bald either. My hair loss was due to my own doing. Alsthough finastride and what not has helped.

Also if your not that far along in terms of loss, you can try toppik, which is like this super micro powder that you sprinkle onto your bald spots. It sticks to your hair and it doesnt blow off with wind. Heck it doesnt even come off when you touch it, It has some strong static cling that holds to the hair and is virtually undetectable even if someone is like 2 foot away looking at your head. Things like that may help the rear. Some hair liner type of crap may help for the front. It's called dermmatch I believe. It's like draw on type of little make up fibers that blend into your hair. Looks natural and helps if your receeding in the front. You will eventually lose it though.

I think of it this way. When i was 16-17 I was a big ass pussy. I had the looks the hair, girls loved it but I could never open my mouth. All my friends that were chicks told me that I was hot/really cute but when I opened my mouth it killed it. I used to say stupid shit and wam, my chance was killed.

Now Im in the process of learning, But I will accept the fact that in my 40's ill probably be bald.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 20, 2009 7:06 pm 
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Quote:
Hi!

I'm very young (22 yo) and already balding. This hits hard on my self esteem.

I'm trying to learn PU to be a better person. But it's hard to have confidence when you feel like shit about your head.

Are there any bald PUAs here? What do you do to have a different mindset and overcome this pain?
I'm in the same boat only i'm 19. I started losing my hair about 15-16. I've got recedeing and thinning. What i do is just cut it real short; I think it looks allright and if any one says shit about it still (cuz i mean yeah the patch on the back is still kinda visible) their usually douches trying to DHV themselves, and i brush them off and they end up coming off as tools.
Like Rye said, ultimately what it comes down to is what you feel comfortable with. If you don't really know what hair style to go with, just ask the person cutting your hair next time what they think would look good. lol it's what i do.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2009 4:40 am 
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Women love the "bald look". My hair started thinning so I just shaved it all off. I've had girls tell me I look like a "wrestler"...I think I look like I just served 5 to 10 but chicks love convicts too.

So shave it off and don't look back...just make up some BS about being a wrestler or an ex biker or in a band and you will be fine.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2009 10:54 pm 
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i'm 21 and thinning REALLY bad on the top of my head. But thats because i did unhealthy thing 2 my hair when i was younger. I tried rogaine. N i had a baad reaction 2 it. it burned my scalp. I tried "thickening shampoo" which is a joke. and i tried propecia. which caused my back, chest and arm hair to come out thick as hell. but it didn't stop my hairloss. I did shave my head with a razor but i got sensitive skin and would get really bad razor burn. I now just cut my hair really short with beard trimmers and wear a hat all the time lol.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 12:06 am 
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thing is with being bald, it is a natural thign that you have little/no control over.

TAKE CONTROL OF IT!

get some clippers, shave it off, once its gone, its gone. get a bit of stubble or a goat going to even thigns out, and you'll have a mature/stern/confident aura about you in no time!!!


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 5:29 am 
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I'm 25. I was basically going bald from the time I was 16 or so. I still had hair, but it was obvious I was going bald and I was super thin on top.

Finally shaved it all of when I was 21 and have never let it grow back out again. It takes a while of getting used to, but once you do it you will not want to go back.

That insecurity of baldness is a game killer man...not because of the physical appearance, but because it really gets inside your head. I can remember being 21 and wearing a hat everywhere I went. I would avoid going to the clubs that didn't allow hats. The final straw was my first time in Europe...I met a 10 at a bar in Switzerland and she invited me to go to a big club with her the next night.

I get there and they say "no hats". I had no choice but to go in with her, so I gave the wardrobe people my hat and tried to act like it didn't bother me. I was so inside my head I couldn't even think rationally and the girl started avoiding me after about 15 minutes. Soon after that I said to hell with it and left.

The next day my friend (who was with the 10's friend that night) said that the other girl was wondering why I was acting weird all night. She said I was so confident the night before and she was really into me. SHE NEVER EVEN MENTIONED THE HAIR. It wasn't the hair that turned her off, it was my own awkwardness from the hair that turned her off.

The next day I shaved it and the insecurity went away with each thinning follicle. Since then I've pulled well over 100 girls and haven't looked back.

My advice is to shave it and never look back.

Bottom line is this...some girls will NOT date a man with a bald head. BUT for every girl that won't date a guy that's bald, there's another girl that finds it ABSOLUTELY SEXY.

On the other hand, I've never really heard a girl say that balding was sexy. Ya feel me?


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 4:21 pm 
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hey mate I started goin bald and gray at 18 im now 23 I shave my head but have a trim beard to balance things out a bit lol, I know how u feel mate. I actually enjoy having a shaved head now and to be honest I think most women are into the bad boy look anyway just look around mate theres plenty of bald men who chicks find sexy vin diesel,pitbull, bruce willis ross kemp to name but a few. Maybe goin down the gym and bulkin up a bit might make u feel better bout yourself, I used to be skinny so I started training wen I started goin bald, now ive gone from lookin like a skinny pretty boy to lookin like a drug dealer lol but hey the chicks seem to dig the drug dealer look lol lets face it u dont get much more alpha male lookin than a bulked up geezer with a shaved head the chicks love it.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 5:00 pm 
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Well if you can't get past this maybe try thinking that there are people that have it 'worse'. For example, I'm short, bald, AND fat. Well not really fat, but I sure can lose some weight, and there're tons of girls showing interest in me evrytime I go out somewhere.

I guess just try to light up..some people have it way worse yet they bless everyday they wake up. Be happy with what you've got and try to move past it. Believe me I know how hard it is, I'm shaving my head like once a week and I'm only 19, started to lose hair at age 16, and you can say it affects my self confidence by tons.

Screw that tho, just play the game, it looks more and more obvious that you really don't have to be that tell rich blonde blue eyes guy to have success with women. Guess just knowing what most guys don't can be enough. Cheer up it's just some hair :P


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 6:44 pm 
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Style, one of the best PUAs of all time, was bald.
I've seen an incredible natural adult PUA with braces land 9s and 10s regularly.

get over it. It's only a big deal in your own head.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 7:09 pm 
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Once again, the balding hair will not hurt your game near as much as the insecurity you get from it will. Shave off the hair and shake off the insecurities. You're gonna struggle until you do.

Are you in your head the entire time your out, wondering what people think about the fact that you're going bald? If you wear a hat, are you worried that people someone will take it off and see that you're going bald?

If you shave it, that whole sick feelings goes away and you can once again be happy with just being yourself. Trust me. You'll feel a million times better.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 5:04 pm 
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Hi guys! Thank you all for the helpful posts.
I'm resurrecting this post (I don't know if it's against the rules) to tell you that I still have this inner game problem.

I mean: I can approach girls and game them as normal. The problem is that even though I can fake standards, my real standards dropped a lot since I lost most of my hair.

Before I really felt like worthy of models, but now internally I'm like accepting any average girl.

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grab her mind, she'll be grabbing whatever I want, any way I want her to." - Ross Jeffries


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