Allow myself to introduce myself. My name is Ace and I am new to Pick Up, sort of. I've watched both seasons of Mysterys show on VH1, and I have read Neil's book twice. I JUST got out of a long term relationship with an HB 8.5 at the end of January and i've been single since. I feel like I'm a fairly attractive looking guy, but I used to be really overweight as of 6 months ago, so I still have confidence issues deep down.

Anywho, on to my dilema.....I live on the Southwest coast of Florida, and I have a co-worker on the East coast. The first time I met her was in the Fall'07 and it was lust at first site. The girl - to me at least - is an HB9. We started to get to know each other through a work function in December'08, but the girl I was dating at the time was with me. Either way, I think that's a good thing because she now sees that I'm datable, and since I was with an HB8.5 at the time (and this was before the weight loss) she knows that something about me attracts beautiful women, therefore I am on an equal if not higher playing field then her.

We ran in to each other at a work funtion in Orlando in February'09 (I'm single at this point) and she sees me and compliments me on how good I look, and how she heard through a co-worker in her office that I was no longer with my ex and she was sorry to hear. I told her it was fine and it was time for me to move on. I spent 5 minutes talking with her and then moved on (keep in mind, now that I'm single I REALLY am noticing her beauty, but i'm trying to play it cool by this point). A few days later I get an email from her saying how she enjoyed seeing me, and how we should hold each other accountable for our work goals, blah blah(I take this as IOI #1). I said that was fine, and how I envied her for living/working on the east coast of South Fl. because I love it over there. We had a work function at Key Biscayne on March 1 and she invited me to hang out after the function for a few hours. I said that'd be great.

Come March 1, she shows up way late but is happy to see me. Lets me know that 1 of our co-workers from her office might be joining us that evening for a drink. I thought that was fine, that maybe that was her way of making this strictly a friend thing. Turned out the co-worker wasnt available to join us, so it was just the 2 of us. She took me to her apartment downtown and let me use her shower. After that she showered while I watched tv. 10 minutes after she got out she asked me to go check something out. She was standing outside her bedroom wearing nothing but a towel (IOI #2). I have no idea what she wanted to show me, my mind just went blank after that. So once she got dressed she started showing me pictures of her family, friends from home, pictures on her laptop (IOI #3..right??). Then I show her some pics of me on her laptop, and she is hovering over me at this point, just looking in to my eyes and smiling (IOI #4). I knew at that point I SHOULD have kissed her, but the AFC in me pussed out. we went to get a glass of wine at this intimate Italian place downtown. It was her and I drinking wine at the candlelight, I took this as a date ( i dont know if she did or not). We built repoir. Once we got back to her place she almost did a shutdown method with me where she got on her laptop and didnt say much to me until I left. I figured something went wrong, but I didnt know what or where. Looking back I think she wanted me to make a move, and I didn't, so she must have thought something was wrong with her, or with me, because the girl is stunning and I highly doubt that she ever gets turned down.

I drive back to the east coast and can't get the girl off my mind, so I text her that she is "Stunning" (AFC move, i know, totally lame). She replied how she had no idea I felt that way and was flattered. I told her she had a beautiful smile, and eyes, and that she was beautiful, and if I didnt share that with her then I wouldnt be able to get to bed that night. She returned the compliment to me. I said that her & I should take the time to get to know one another better. She replied that we both just got out of long term relationships, and her ex fucked her over royally (what guy hasnt heard this one right??), and she didnt want to do something unless she could do it 100%. I told her that I understood. She replied by saying she would like to get to know me, but wanted to move real slow.

Fast forward a few weeks, she had invited me to visit her once again, and then kind of bailed out last minute, saying she was at a charity function all night and she understood if I wanted to stay on the west coast. I was on her coast the next day visiting my boys, and no invite over from her, or anything. She said she wasnt feeling good and was just staying in. I took this as her not being interested....but she would keep talking to me!! Text, email, whatever, we'd talk about work and personal. The following week she said she was stressed out about work and such, and I offered her to come to my coast and I'd show her around, take her mind off things, and she said shes lazy and didnt want to make that kind of drive. I basically took this as the third strike. I just about gave up at this point. We'd make small talk, usually through text the next couple days, i'd text her PUA stuff like naming the 5 oceans through text, the Maury Povich opener, etc.

Now in early April i told her I was going to be on her coast the next day for work training. She asked where I was staying, and I told her it was a hotel. She said I was dumb and should have just stayed with her for free. I told her I was with a co-worker and it was too short of notice, but that i'd be there again on May 4-7 and if I could do it then, she said that'd be fine. Ever since then I'll make little jokes that its a long time to be one on one, and I could always stay at the YMCA or get a hotel, and she said that was nonsense, and that I could stay with her and it'd be fun. She then signed up for this training class that I am going to be in May 4-7.

I saw her at work in Ft Lauderdale yesterday, and a co-worker who knows nothing about our situation saw us together and said she was showing hardcore IOI's and that she was all about me. I was upset because she didnt call me like she said she would the previous night, so I was trying to be standoffish and leave a.s.a.p. leave making her want more, and crave my arrival on the 4th of May. She was showing me pictures on her phone of her new office, was sitting right outside the meeting I was in, almost (it seemed) as if she was waiting for me to come out, and WOULD NOT let me walk away. She kept pulling me in and showing me things or asking me questions. Then when I left she just turned her cheek, expecting me to kiss it. And I did. (IOI?)

Here's my delima....I think she wants me, and is in to me, and I think I can definately kiss-close or close this completely when I stay with her in May. However, she is a REALLY nice girl, and maybe she just thinks of me as a harmless friend, and she's being nice to me by letting me stay over, by communicating with me, and by letting me kiss her cheek cause that's what she'd let her little brother or gay friend do?

I'm really confused. Anyone I tell this story to says she wants me, but they are AFCs. She is so hot & cold with me. I dont know if there is another man in her life, and when he is cold to her, she gets hot with me, or if she doesnt think twice about it? I dont know. She has declined an invite from me to hang out about 4 times now in the last 7 weeks, but she keeps talking to me, invited me to stay with her for a week, and every time we hang in person she is always smiling and I just feel the elctricty.

HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!! Monday May 4 i'm staying with her, we have training and then we're going to dinner, and i'm bringing a bottle of wine to her place that she said she is looking forward to. I need advice from an experienced PUA to help guide me. I dont know what i'm looking for, a close or more, but I could definately see myself falling for this girl (harder than I already am).
~Ace

Holy shit dude...
could you be any more mixed in your signals?

this poor girl probably doenst know which was is up with you.

LOL
(I say this as playfully as I can... see why negging online doesnt work well?)

OK...

Lets just keep this simple... Ill start with the obvious one... she is naked in her room in a bath towel... what more do you want???

If I was naked in my room in a towel and wanted you to come look at something, what would you think?

lol

that being said... you had better cut the back and forth with this girl before she moves on...
why didnt you just ditch the co-worker and stay at her place? im still confused about that... but whatever\
Do i even have to say anything??? seriously??
If I spoke with her she would probably say the same thing about you...

quit it all ready...
me neither... I cant figure it out =)
ok... pretty much this is probably last chance for you... lets just say a quick prayer
dear lord, please help my friend ace to actually express the interest he feels for this girl.....

k... quit the freeze outs... you freeze her out when she is good, reward her when she is bad...
your staying at her place... good.. going to dinner... not good... but your in ft. lauderdale... good..
get her out before dinner... go walk on the beach or something go to city walk (or whatever that place is called there on the water)
hell anything to spend time and KINO
be as sexual as you can be... express interest... go to dinner by this time you should be arm in arm and holding hands... get her to look into your eyes during dinner....
drink your wine... take her somewhere else if possible and set up for kissing...
lean in watch for the triangle gaze... (eyes, lips, eyes) do a little yourself if your not sure... then just lean in
do the 90% lean in... if she kisses back.. your in.. if she pulls to the side... THEN body language a bit that you wanted the kiss and keep the attraction going strong.

Hope that helps,

JMT,
Lucky

_________________
150 people are killed every year by Falling Coconuts.... 10 by Shark Attack.

I couldn't find any stats on death from approaching a woman.

Oh yeah,

I love Ft lauderdale btw... If you dont work it out with this girl... see if she wouldnt mind me staying at her place... lolz

and take the above posts as lighthearted as possible...
but seriously man up and take charge... thats probably all she is waiting for

oh and also if she had a bf.. you woulnt be staying at her place and going to dinner with wine... so quit it =)
it sounds like she is just waiting for you to make the move.

let us all know how it goes... or just me, cus I'm curious

_________________
150 people are killed every year by Falling Coconuts.... 10 by Shark Attack.

I couldn't find any stats on death from approaching a woman.

Guys,

Thanks for the feedback. All great tips. I took your advice and manned up over the phone. I found out that she is the direct type and likes her man to take charge. It's exactly what I did. I somewhat borrowed a line from Mystery and said "If I lived on the east coast you would TOTALLY be mine right now" ever since I said that she has been blowing up my phone. She told me how she missed me and couldn't wait until May to see me. So, my response was not asking, but telling her to clear her calendar for Friday night, we're going to dinner. So after work tomorrow i'm driving to her place, where we're gonna have a bottle of wine, go to dinner on South Beach, walk the beach, then go back to her place. I'm 100% confident that at the VERY least, a kiss-close will occur. I'm going to KINO-the hell out of her and just let the night flow, using the tools i've learned and the tips you guys suggested and hopefully close it.

I'm really excited about this. 6 months ago I never would have dreamed of closing an HB9 like this. I'm on cloud 9 and am counting down the hours until South Beach....

I'll post a field report this weekend.

Stay tuned.
Ace

awsome man,

really glad to hear it...

Go get em tiger,

Lucky

_________________
150 people are killed every year by Falling Coconuts.... 10 by Shark Attack.

I couldn't find any stats on death from approaching a woman.

Field Report....

Okay so the date didnt go quite as planned. It had its positives & negatives. Allow me to explain...

It started Friday. I could tell by the lack of communication and the fact that she was having a bad day something was going on. I think she was having apprehension. Anyway, I tell her that i'd get to her place in downtown MIA at 7:00. She said to drive slow cause she was gonna be at happy hour with her lady friends. I got there at 7:20 and she didn't show up until like 7:40. I wasn't happy about that but tried to blow it off.

We chilled at her house until about 9:00. She aleady had a few drinks so I had 2 glasses of wine to catch up. I brought some Portugese white wine over for her to try and when I offered her some she declined. "Okay, this is weird" i thought to myself, but brushed it aside. All of these negative vibes was starting to make me real nervous, reverting back in to AFC mode. We leave for dinner and I refused to give in to my old AFC-ways. I kept trying to build kino, and neg her periodically. We went to a nice candlelit dinner on South Beach. We talked about work and personal things. The plan was after that to go for a walk on the beach. By the time dinner was over it was after 11:00. She had a 9:00 appointment on Saturday morning, so she said we should probably get back to her place. Again, didn't know whether or not to take this as a + or -. On the drive back she busts out her old school cd collection, playing old jams and sharing with me some of her favorite old school artists and songs. We were jammin in the car. We get back to her place and lay on the couch and spoon for a bit. Light caressing, cuddling. We have this game we've played since Thursday where we get to ask 1 sexual ? per day. She had a number of questions for me though, do I like anal, where do I like to bust my load, i felt this was a step in the right direction, but that only lasted about 10 minutes because her friend from back home kept texting her about boyfriend troubles bla bla. After that she smoked a bowl (she's in to that, i'm not, but whatev) & then we take the night in to her bed room to "go to sleep".

I put my arm around her and we cuddled for a few and then she layed it on me. She said "i'm not sure about this, something doesn't feel right in my gut." She said that on one hand she likes me, but on the other we work together, and that makes her uncomfortable because she's had bad experiences with that in the past. I said that I think she's moving a little ahead of herself, just because I have my arm around you doesn't mean that we're going to date, we're just simply in the getting to know you process. She asked me what my thoughts were, and I said that I have obvious interest since i drove from the west coast to Miami, and that plenty of people within our organization have dated, or dated & then gotten married. She countered with sayin that my experiences with fraternizing in the workplace were positive, but hers were not, and the feeling in her gut just wasn't right. She said that when I walked in the door, or at dinner, she didnt have the overwhelming sensation to give me love & affection, she had mixed feelings about liking me but thinking how wrong it was because we're co-workers. I just told her that if you never take a chance in life & live in fear you could miss out on great opportunities. She said that her gut feeling said it just didnt feel right because we are co-workers. I again said I think shes getting ahead of herself, and she just said she was real tired after smoking and should go to bed & we'll talk the next day.

Now on the drive home I spoke with some friends...1 said to play it cool...i'm still going over there May 4 - 7 and staying with her for this Series 7 review course we have to take. My friend said to just play it cool, she definately wants my cock, she's just having stage fright & apprehension. Let her know that we need to slow it down, she already has us fucking, dating, and breaking up, and looking at it from a standpoint of how bad will that look on me and my reputation, and how uncomfortable will that be when we see each other.

My other friend (who is female) said that, most likely she cant seperate sex and feelings, and she knows if we kissed or messed around last night, it'd definately lead to sex, which would lead to her growing attatched to me...and because she has preconceived notions that fraternizing with co-workers always ends up ugly, she freaked out and put the breaks on everything, saying in her gut this didnt feel right.

I dont know what I did wrong, if I didnt build enough kino, if I didn't act aggressively enough or act quick enough, but I feel like i'm running out of chances, and if this wasnt my last chance, May 4 will be for sure to make something happen.

I dont know how long I should wait to communicate with her, or if I should wait for her to communicate with me, who knows? HELP!!! I'm running out of time

I think you guys are talking WAY too much.

She obviously likes you and is willing to invest quite a bit of time in you, but what I feel might be happening is that because you guys are talking sooo much about how you feel about each other and what you would like to do to each other you guys over-analyze the situation and this build worries which in turn don't exactly make her or you feel secure and confident and this is where her gut-feeling comes from.

So what you need to do in my opinion is to make her feel more secure about what you guys are, and one way of doing this is by having great sex and showing that you are laid back and secure about the decision, I think that is really all it would take.

_________________
Hut

Hut,

I appreciate the feedback. She said that she cant get over the co-worker thing and she just wants to be friends. I was confused because I thought she was in to me, and she said that she was in to the idea of getting to know me. Once we hung out she said that the stigma of me being a co-worker was too much for her. She also said she's not looking for a b/f or relationship so she doesnt want to risk our friendship just for something that she doesnt want.

So, it looks like i'm in the friend zone once again. Story of my life.

~AFC

Ok, my advice is.. don't overreact because you didn't closed this one..

Your clearly in the transition from an AFC to a PUA e there are so many aspects that are transmitted to you at the same time that you can't learn them all at the first time.

To learn you have to make mistakes. with this girl you made a few, now the important thing, is to review all the things you did, think about what you should have done, learn from your mistakes.. Take it, not as another failure as you say 'story of my life'.., but as a lesson, and if you look at it this way, you will improve your game, and you will start to see the results..


Keep telling us how you're doing with the ladies ok?

Johnny,

I appreciate the kind words. I just really hate rejection, and I almost feel like this one was gods way of saying "hey, lets reward Ace for his hardwork." Then it was taken from me last minute.

She text me yesterday saying "i hope you're not mad but after hanging out Friday I dont think we should be anything more than friends, i cant get over us working together, im not looking for a relationship, and I dont want to risk our friendship for something im not even wanting at the moment (relationship)." So...this whole situation just has me way down, and down in the dumps. My confidence level is at an all-time zero. For someone that just lost 55 pounds and added muscle to his frame and is single, fit, attractive, I feel like I lost my mojo. I feel like i'm the body of a mint-condition 1972 Shelby Cobra mustang, with the engine and inside parts of a 1985 beat-up pinto on its last life.

I just need some form of confidence boost, because this girl in Miami crushed my spirit.

On top of this, on May 4-7 i'm staying over there to take this exam prep course for work. I dont know what to do? Try to sleep with her? Or respect her wishes and just be friendly. I know shes attracted to me, but she doesnt want to date me. I think if I tried hard I might be able to score? But if I do i'll prob get attatched, because i'm an AFC.

I feel like i'm so fucked up. I dated a girl for 2 years, been out of the game for so long and I just feel like I've lost all my talents and abilities. I truley need help.

Ok, if you start to think 'oh, im no good, and she left me because of that'... than you're being nothing but an AFC. You have to think as a PUA.. Don't ever let a girl shake your confidence, what you have to do is to improve the areas where you failed..


Ok, onto your situation, right now..

That text message means nothing but 'you have done some things wrong and i don't feel enough attracted to you so that that i would put our friendship at stake'

So, what do you have to do..

First, stop talking to her.. Give her space, giver her time so she can miss you, don't tal to her until one week before the day your meeting her..(if she says something, of course, answer, but keep it short, small talk)

And in this time that you have before the meeting, you have to meet new girls, boost your confidence and improve your game, so that when you talk to her again, she will definitely see a different you..

Then at the time you meet her, bring your A game and tease her, bust her balls, be C&F, make her want you..

If she insists that you really should be friends, then stop (it's really hard to win a girl back after she throw you into the friend zone) and try to be friends with her..

If she demonstrates interest, then my friend, make your move and enjoy the time you spend at her place!!

Great feedback, that's kind of what I was planning on doing. Just start from scratch, finish re-reading "The Game" and the "Selfish Gene" and do the "hood rat" thing, build some confidence. Then by the time Miami comes, be confident, suave, maybe walk around her place half naked after training, do the seduction thing, and just see where it goes.

Ace,

pretty much Jonny says pretty much exactly what I would have...
it sucks yeah... I feel for ya...

but hell, dont throw the baby out with the bathwater... because some valuable lessons have been learned.

and hopefully with a freeze out, maybe you can still turn this one around... I mean... origionally the attraction was there... this work thing is a bit crappy, but even if the worst happens... leave her better than when you found her... and who knows...
maybe one of you will switch jobs =)
and if not... sounds like she is still a good person to have as a friend....
I would kill for a hot girl whose place I could just stay at in Miami =)

JMT,
Lucky

_________________
150 people are killed every year by Falling Coconuts.... 10 by Shark Attack.

I couldn't find any stats on death from approaching a woman.

Best case scenerio I can turn it around and get some or see where the situation eventually develops. Worst case I've made a friend that is willing to let me crash for free any time I want to party in Downtown MIA.

I guess it could be worse right?

I've been moping around since Saturday morning about this girl and situation. I need to rebuild my confidence and get back in to PUA-mode. Im trying to find it within myself so that I can go out there and win some minor victories. Maybe talk to a couple HB 5's, 6's, or 7's, just get the confidence back up, get a little swag in my step.

Either way I need to get out of this funk, get my ass off my shoulders and get back to being positive, confident Ace.

Thanks for the help.

Okay guys....I've taken your advice and the advice of some guys i know locally, and i've decided to freeze - or ice - my one-ittis. I've mentioned the fact that we work for the same company. Well on Monday I got a referral for someone that lives in Miami (where she lives) and i text her saying "Hey I have an MIA referral for you i'll email you the details later." She responded by saying "hey i'm pulling in to the office now lets talk in 5?" I didn't respond and went in to an appointment. When I got back to my cell i had a missed call, a voice message, and a text all from her within 20 minutes! She called me, left me a message saying "Hey sweety call me when you get this." And then a text saying "Hey I called you......"

I'm guessing the freezing worked. I did call her back, just tried to keep it short, about business, and to the point (keep in mind she couldnt get over the stigma of us working together, and wanted to be "just friends for now.") As I said, i kept it short & got off the phone with her. She told me to give her a call later and I said alright & never did.

Then, randomly tonight...2 days later...she sends me a text out of the blue at 11:40 pm asking "Hey did you just call me?" I waited a few minutes & responded with "nope" and that was it.

My question is, are these IOI's?? On May 4 - 7 I will be staying with her in Miami for this exam prep course i have to take, and she volunteered to take with me. My plan is to continue to ice her until next Tues or Wed...send her a text just confirming my still staying with her, and then ice her again until monday may 4. Then unleash the kino, the cocky-funny, do cat-string theory, and walk around her house half naked last at night after some wine.

Feedback please.................