I'm not a PUA and I just started reading these boards, but I try. Here's why I'm confused. I'm close with a waitress (hired gun from Hooters) who's a HB9. She's 30 and has two kids, which works well for me because I'm older than that. Just talked to her at work and got her pulling me over to her table every time I come in to eat. Used some negs (she's gorgeous, but older than the other girls and I think her esteem was lowered by her ex-husband), but not many. Was always confident, funny (I guess not modest) and left signs that I wasn't a threat or overly interested in her.
Last week, I came in and she was close to leaving. (Hooters has mid-shift cutdowns when days aren't busy.) Spur of the moment, I told her I was going to grab a quick bite, then I had to get going to do an interview (I'm a newspaper reporter) ... but would she like to eat lunch with me somewhere else since her shift was over.
I think it caught her off guard. She said she couldn't because she had to run some errands before her kids got home, but she also said that she wasn't hungry, which I took as a sign of my failure. Then she shifted into "wanting a rain check". She came over to me after she changed and insisted that I come back in this week to see her, giving me positive signs, touching my arm (which she hadn't done before).
So ... is she just a hired gun who is trying to keep a customer? Or was it a sincere missed opportunity and she wants me to close?

touching your arm goes well beyond pleasing a customer.

I'd say she's interested.

My apologies if there's a thread I missed on this, but any suggestions on how to try to close after a miss like I just had? She said no, but gave positive signs. I went back once, sat at her table and didn't bring up getting together and she was very into me.
I guess I'm at the point of restarting trying to close. Or should I reference the previous missfire and put some sort of humorous twist on it?

This is a hard question to answer with the information you provided. Allow me to marvel you with my esp powers on this one. I get this feeling that your not sharing a piece of crucial information here. Your personality is coming through on the post but its still hazey because Im getting this feeling that your already in friend zone and are now trying to back pedal out of it, so that she'll like you and want to take the relationship to the next level to which I seeing you going into friend zone yet again. If you were smart and wanted to be a PUA chalk this one, otherwise this place may hurt more than help. Here are some of the things I picked up on in your post which leads me to this.
I'm a big believer of you gotta do what works for you. There are a lot of posts for different angles by PUAs with different personality types. You gotta hope, I guess, for someone to post that matches up with your personality.

I felt bad about not giving any tips for you to avoid that whole mess.
1. If she starts to open up to you, neg her...
2. If you like a girl, don't stalk the place she works.
3. Nice guys with too many manners will never be PUA.
4. Read The Game, if one is truly to be a PUA its required reading, not for its lines or ideas for sarging, but to know exactly what this PUA stuff will do to you. Besides its our heritage.

5. No tips on how to recover from friend zone, sorry as per what you are really asking.

Excellent feedback Lefty. It helps. I likely am in a friend zone and have to chalk this one up to experience.
The only question I have is the second point -- don't just go to the workplace. I was trying to get to see her outside of work, but failed. So how do I avoid just seeing her at work if that's my only connection with her?
More to increase my knowledge than anything else because after your post, I don't think I'm going back to see her at work.

I think I get my cold reading abilities from the fact that I talk to about an airport size amount of people every year in my job. And no I don't say would you like fries with that... I say, we cook with 0 transfat oil. Kidding, ... lies or the truth, you decide.

Personally your trying to play a lvl 10 game when your lvl 1 (not saying that I'm any higher as Im posting to you instaed of sarging, just read my post in the introduction area). There are soo many variables that you need to account for if you were to try to pull this off.

Here's what I would do, mind you my advice is worth what you paid for it.

1. Don't just suddenly stop going there, it will be too obvious [she rejected you, you suddenly disappear].
2. Don't go in alone any more, as I know you do and so do you...
3. Your in over your head on this...
4. Your in over your head on this...

As you are now, you will not succeed as a PUA, you need to be able to manipulate a situation to your advantage, you need to be able to lie/ flirt and shrug it off. You need to be able to go balls-out and put your reputation on the line at times in any setting... can you do that? Can you see a girl as an object? Are you willing to go to clubs every other night of the week and try gaming groups of people? If you answered no then you may be able to save yourself.

This is all a GAME to PUAs. You don't do this stuff hopping to be a moral person afterwards. These techniques are designed to pick up girls and debase them into having sex with you (imo). Why else would there be a "Lay Report" section here. If your into that kind of girl then this is for you otherwise .... your in over your head.

I am a lvl1 but I alway wish to pick up girls and debase them. I want sex with this girl and not a relationship.
I'm in over my head because of my newness, but I'd still like to pick this woman up. And yes, I'll lie/flirt/shrug it off. It's not my nature, but it's what I want with this woman.
So, other than going back and going back with a friend are there any other suggestions?
I'm getting mixed signals from you now. If I'm over my head and lost in a friend zone, I'm surprised that your advice is to go back. The only reason to go back would be to pick her up, correct? I'm not going back just to smile and make a woman think that I didn't get fazed by her when I have no chance of picking her up. Objects right? Why bother looking good for a woman who you'll never pick up?
But if you think I can still pick her up, can you see any light at the end of the tunnel?

Well, if the only reason you went there was for her in the first place, my vote is that I dont see any light in this tunnel, I just wasnt completely sure where you stood, sorry for the mixed signals. I wouldn't go back.

Damn. I was hoping for a miracle ... instead I have to chalk it up to experience.

Update ... I've gone back twice since the missed connection and she's gotten warmer with each trip. On the second trip, she gave me the "It feels cold in here" and asked me to feel her arm. I did and said "Other than those goosebumps, you feel warm to me". She was cold, but I was thinking ahead. She smiled and put both of her hands on my arm and then on my neck. I said "Next time ask before touching. Don't ever do that again." She smiled and wouldn't leave me alone after that. She held off on giving me my bill (reminder this is a hired gun waitress situation) until I pressed her for it, saying that I had to get somewhere for work (I travel a lot). When she gave me the bill, she said, "Can't you stay longer?" and I said, "Sorry, I can't" even though I wanted to and could.
I think that I blew off that we couldn't connect the first time I tried and haven't mentioned it since is working for me. Now this newbie has to figure out how to get across that next bridge. I'm toying with telling her that I'm not going to be back in for a while or not sure when I can make it back and giving her my number.

Choo choo, all aboard the friendship train!! You went back twice since last night?! Good luck dude, something that may work is the freeze out although I don't think I've seen it applied too much to a friendship back pedal before. Do a search for it if you don't understand what I'm saying

I did post earlier (I believe) that I was back once since the missed step. I went back again today to make two.
You might be right about the friendship train. I understand what you're saying, but I'm not going to abort until I find out for sure.
I'll drop in one more time, tell her I can't make it back for a while and give her my number. Then it's either over or I'm out of that damned workplace and into another gear.

Okay, you are actually doing pretty well with all that kino. (I am suprised because of the earlier posts)

But modification to your future plan. Don't give her YOUR number in this situation.

You say "I won't be able to stop by for awhile so I won't be able to talk to you much here, but I am going to *winetasting/rockclimbin/anything* on Saturday/Friday/Sunday If you would like to join me we could continue our conversation then."

If she say "I'd love to but I'm working" then say "Here then, give me your number and I'll let you know when (I'm going out again OR When i've got some time or ect..)."

If she says "Yeah I'd love to come!" You say "So how am I going to get in touch with you to let you know blah blah blah" she should offer you her number.

If she says "No, I don't think so" then your not coming back in for a long time anyway. Hell with her.



The point I am trying to make is you HAVE to get it out of this "Business" relationship. You need to get it out of the "office". Once you get her out of there then you never have to worry about "Just being used for a bigger tip" ever again.

Hope this helps.

EvoJ

Excellent plan EvoJ. I'm going to use it without changing anything.
This is exactly what I'm looking for ... a way to get out of her workplace. And as you say, if it doesn't get me out of the workplace, then I'm out period.
I'll let you know how it works out.
In the meantime, I'm going to have to learn how to rock climb. Oh wait, that was just an example? Nevermind.