okay so heres the deal..this has been happening A LOT 2 me lately. i go out 2 a bar or club n meet a girl. i keep her interested and laughing the whole time. at the end of the nite we exchange numbers n she tells me 2 call her n we should hang out sumtime. but when i text her 2 see if she wants 2 hang out i either get a lame excuse or she doesn't reply. idk wtf i'm doin wrong. ne help would be appreciated

You're going too fast, she doesn't remember you so well "it was dark, we were at the club". U can't go directly for a date man! u gotta take it 1 step at a time lol

1st call: call her up/ text her just to re-initate the conversation. u call her, and if she don't answer u leave a lil message like "Hey, I'll catch you later"

What's going on is the vibe that u made with her is gone, it was a 1-night vibe. So u gotta re-initiate it all, make her remember how you made her feel that night at the bar.
Once you've got her comfortable with u, u set up a date

Either do that, or know that phone numbers are wood. Meaning, dont expect much from number closes. Go for the kiss close then she will have extreme comfort when you do text her and it is very easy then to create an instant date.

It's a mixture of the above..

and BT.

Your bumping her buying temperature, getting her laughing and smiling and being playful, your just affecting her state and making her feel good. But she has no real reason to find you attractive.

So she gets buyes remorse... in a kind of...

"why did I give him my number?"

She then blows you off.

Look to cause genuine attraction, and re-asess your comfort, she may not feel comfortable enough with you; to go out with you alone.

exactly where i was going at.. the time that you were together at the club, you didn't go through all the attraction phase.. you were there with her having a great time.. like a couple of buddies... you did make her feel comfortable but no attraction... you need to mix both to have a guarantee that she will drooling and going gaga when she sees your phone number...

I don't buy into "Phases", frankly I think that's one of the bigger flaws in MM and almost any linear model. Their is no need for doing things in a particular order, or making sure you finish this "Phase".


And on a side note attraction is not necessarily needed to set up a day 2.

If you are like fin and don't want to go into phases, what you should do is still maintain a few key elements, one being an anchor. You need to give her a reason to want to talk to you, to want to hangout with you. As soon as you get her number, shoot her a text saying

"hey it's that awesome, funny, extremely hot and seductive guy you met tonight, not jimmy, but the other one"

she will probably laugh, and even she doesn't remember "you" she now has a memory to work with, plus once you shoot her that text it opens it up for her to respond back, when she responds back you can do one of two things,

1) respond back right then to get a conversation flowing

or

2) wait to respond the next day that way you are almost ensured you are able to get a conversation started and begin a process of talking back and forth passed that night at the club.

Are you making out with these girls you are getting the numbers off? Do you talk to them after you get there number or do you take off straight away? Do you open the call/ text with a "inside" joke or do you just open with how are you ect?

Without all the info i can only give you a best guess. But i would suggest that you spend more time with them on the first meet, give them more kino, and actively attemptt the bounce more often. this should up the number to dates ratio.

Good luck

thanks guys i appreciate the help..n yes almost everytime i end up making out with these girls and i stay n chat after i get there number. but i text them instead of calling them. idk if thats a mistake or not. my text messages typically go like this...

(me)-wuts poppin cutie?
(her)-heyy nm u?
(me)-nm, just chillen. wut u doin 2nite?
(her)-(either she says she's doin sumthin or i get no response sumtimes shes says that she has no plans)
(me)-wanna chill later?
(her)- (no response or gives me a lame excuse y she can't hang out)

Hmm you barely know her and she you, get some more text messages going, a couple of different conversations. Show her that their is a reason for you to to hang out. Rather than just

do you want to?

Plus I'd say your doing something, find something to do while texting, always mention something about your day, it starts conversation gives you character etc etc.

Also for yourself texts are easier to handle, I'd stay away form phone-calls until you feel ready to hold quality non scripted conversations without break.

DOUBLE!

TRIPLE!

I rarely ask for the date anymore.. seems needy/desperate

Instead I say, "hey my friends and I are going out to this bomb sushi spot tomorrow night.. u should come......... and buy me some rolls

aite...i get wut u guys are saying. but, do u think its possible to "recover" and get a date wit these girls after they have rejected me like this? ne tips on how 2 do this?..that is, if its possible...

See other girls and have a "don't care" attitude about the ones that flaked on you in the past.. after them seing you have all this fun with other friends and girls.. there is a much better chance of them hanging out..

Because now you have become the flame not the moth