I'm 16, junior in high school. Most girls view it as a DLV that I don't drink or smoke because they automatically think (I've been told by a few insiders) that I don't party much/have fun. By smoking I mean weed.
So, how can I come back with a DHV of some sort after revealing that I don't drink/smoke?
"Really, you don't drink?"
"I don't need to be drunk to have fun."
That's the best I could think of... but I wont settle for decent (if at all), I want a better one.

I'm wondering if this could be a good idea. Since I have a noticable six-pack, I could grab her hand and put it over my abs and say something along the lines of "it's because I'd rather stay in shape" or "so that I could have this for girls like you." However, I think that's too much cocky/flashy and not cocky/funny.

Suggestions?

I'd go cocky/funny to turn the negative perception on its ear.

"Really, you don't drink?"

"My body is a temple. The purity of my precious fluids is sacred."

(This is similar to my response to a similar shit test: "Really, you're a virgin?" "My body is a temple. I won't pollute it with the fluids of unpurified women.")

"Fluids" is the key word here. Say it right and it is instantly funny. Practice, though. Say it wrong and it is instantly creepy.

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Some vices miss what is right because they are deficient, others because they are excessive, in feelings or in actions, while virtue finds and chooses the mean.
Aristotle, Ethica Nichomachea

I can see this backfiring and making you seem weird if you deliver it wrong. Just tell them you don't drink because you choose not to (if you say you don't need it to have fun it sounds like a rip on them).

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Personally, I'm going to agree with ZEGlass here, the cocky funny approach will make them laugh and you definitely DON'T want to treat you not drinking like it's a big deal or a problem.... If you think it's a problem, it becomes a problem. I'm guessing it's not the lack of alcohol that's DLV but more likely your own perception and confidence in terms of explaining why you don't that they notice.

If they keep pushing and say "no but seriously, don't you drink?"

Don't answer directly but instead turn it around and put them on the defensive - if they're going to attack you for something so trivial, lets do the same to them ey? So, turn your head very slightly to the side and raise and eyebrow slightly (if you can!):

"Hang on...Do you need alcohol to have fun?"

This takes the attention off you DLV from not drinking onto them DLV for needing to...

Oh I meant to add, move on quickly to another topic or thread a story - they're almost certainly going to say "oh, no" and start trying to qualify themselves to you.

Also, only move into switching the DLV to them if they push and the cocky funny didn't work... As JayBot mentioned, it does run the risk of seeming like an OTT neg if you do it straight away.

If they were pushing then they're far more likely to feel that they let themselves in for it rather than that you were qualifying yourself, or insulting them.

I get this a lot because I don't drink or smoke. I usually do something cocky funny, I remember I said something along the lines of "If I had more fun than I'm having now heads would blow up and I'm feeling nice", I got something like "you're so considerate". Make it funny and people won't bug you about it.

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"A bad traceur does a technique until he gets it right. A good traceur does it until he can not get it wrong"
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"men who say it cannot be done should not interrupt men doing it"

for me, i trace it back to the fact I joined the Marines and the fact i ride a motorcycle


both of which are not particularly conducive to a alcohol/drug filled life

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OK that comment about my body being a temple... I could definitely pull that off. Some friends in this school know me for being really funny with slightly random comments and I'll definitely get a laugh out of that.

The comment about the motorcycle and joining the marines. I was going to use the fact that I'm on the varsity basketball team and really shouldnt be drinking/smoking, but kids on the team already do that (not to mention bball season has long been over for me).

I'll just be sure to maintain my DHV while trying not to insult them.

Hey, this is a great question. I go to parties all the time, and all my friends smoke, drink, smoke pot, and I don't do any of it, though it would look like I do lol.

This brings up quite a few times everyone will be sitting in a circle or chilling at a party and im drinking water or not smoking and they ask "you don't smoke or drink?" and "I'm just like nah, it's not really my thing, i got too much going on" casual, direct and to the point. Like someone else said, as long as you dont make it a big deal, it isn't one.

Sometimes people will think you are a downer or a buzzkill because of it, but they always end up seeing how funny I am and invite me back regardless of whether or not I smoke/drink because I pretty much act like I am drunk or high anyway.

High on life that is ^_- lmfao /cheesyness

I like what indelible said about turning it around on them by asking if they need to. Your dhv will go up as you suddenly seem in control of the conversation.