I find myself un-interesting. There... I said it!

Now, i know this is a wrong way of thinking and that i should have self confidence and all that... but its like im lying to myself...

Ok, assume i was able to convince myself as being an interesting person, i find it really hard to get into conversation with girls about interesting topics mainly because i dont have an interesting past.... for example, i havent done anything wild or dangerous and i dont have much "experience" in life... its just a general boring un-interesting life that i have...

I've read about PUA and i read the forums (ofcouse not everything) but i find it really hard for example to DHV myself when i have no real life DHV... I hope im making myself clear and not confusing you guys... Like, i have to be a complete liar and an amazing actor in order to DHV myself because i dont really have any interesting things going on in my life that can be considered as a DHV.

So how do i go on from here? Lets say you are a geek, you've done nothing interesting in your life, mostly sitting at home, watching tv series, movies, browsing the internet and studying... how are you going to be an Alpha Male and DHV yourself for girls and gain some attraction...

If you require more information, please let me know and i'll be more than glad to explain.

JSPUA

this is when you need to work on your inner game first! work hard on it since there's a lot of work to be done!... there's a lot of resources for you to read, this community for example and books.. search them!

there's no point of acting it! it needs to come off natural.. you need to believe that you're interesting, spontaneous, in charge, alpha male.. you can start off by reading books.. you can't be a PUA overnight.. it will take time.. so be patient.. while you're doing this.. start changing your habits.. instead of sitting at home, expand your social circle (if you haven't already)... use your social circle to get out and do some activities.. do something, anything outside the house... then the most important thing is.. believing that you are changing for the better.. you are more positive than ever... you are becoming an alpha!

make yourself better than you were yesterday!

yeah...

what are you passionate about?

Anything?

if that doesnt work... coffee beans are a good place to start.

do some research on them if you dont believe me...

do you drink coffee?

did you know caffeine is on the international olympic committee's list of prohibited substances? Drink 5 cups of coffee in a few hours and you wont pass the test.

Turkish bridegrooms used to be required to promise during the wedding ceremonies to always provide their wife with coffee... if they didnt it was grounds for divorce.

in Japan a common spa SPAM is a "coffee soak" with coffee grounds and pinapple pulp

eXpresso is not a word?... its actually eSpresso. in some places they will refuse your order if you pronounce it wrong

In constantinople, the first coffee houses called qahveh khaneh (schools of wisdom) because they were meeting places for arts and literature

Beethoven loved coffee and was so particular that he would count out 60 beans for every cup of coffee he brewed

the word TIP as in tipping your waiter actaully has its origins in coffee houses in london.. wher ethere was a little brass box with the words To Insure Promptness etched on it... over the years it has just been shortned to tipping and the origin practically forgotten



WHEW... that took me like 2 minutes to find... and its hella interesting... and shit.. you can build a routine, run some cocky funny stuff or neg just on the info i gave you...

and we are talking about fucking coffee.....
just imagin if I had picked something truly interesting.

JMT,

Lucky

_________________
150 people are killed every year by Falling Coconuts.... 10 by Shark Attack.

I couldn't find any stats on death from approaching a woman.

Mystery said himself: Fake it till you make it.
You can start off by doing that, and in time as you start to hang out with more girls/people, you will probably have some good stories to tell.

Mystery also wears furry hats and more makeup than any American girl out there. Being fake is what most people are. It shows how much hate people have for themselves. Insecurity. Self-doubt. Ugly qualities if you ask me. Remember, you are the one who MUST live with yourself.

I can teach ANY guy on here how to get girls that they think don't even exist AND be themselves. I will do it for free as well.

Istanbul was Constantinople; now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople. Been a long time gone, Constantinople. Why did Constantinople get the works? That's nobody's business but the Turks'.

So if you've a date in Constantinople, she'll be waiting in Istanbul.

*ahem*

Now that I have that out of the way, johnsmithpua, I really feel for you, mate. Mystery makes it sound like you're supposed to tell these stories that glam up your life and you're just sitting there, depressed, thinking, "I've never even seen a bear that wasn't in a zoo, let alone been chased by one."

Neither Mystery Method (which glosses over congruency) and The Game (which reminds us, "It's not lying; it's flirting") give this topic a fair shake, IMO. Fealinlucky is right, though. Yes, you have to pick something interesting to talk about, but it doesn't have to be something that everybody automatically thinks is wildly exciting.

The other night, I had a great conversation with a girl about colour. It was just about what colours compliment each other, the colour wheel; and drifted in and out of men's fashion. It's not as exciting as rock climbing or getting chased by a bear, but she seemed really fired up that this man talking to her thought to bring up the colour wheel in casual conversation. She asked me if I was an artist. ("I'm not, but I have this great idea for a modern art installation...")

Some PUAs claim that it doesn't matter what you talk about, but rather how you talk about it. I don't think that's necessarily true. I don't think, for example, that Dungeons and Dragons makes a great ice breaker, no matter how enthusiastic I might be about it. Your passion for the subject matter, though, will make a big difference. You have to pick a topic that has enough mileage to hook her, but you're also trying to put on display your emotions about the topic.

_________________
Some vices miss what is right because they are deficient, others because they are excessive, in feelings or in actions, while virtue finds and chooses the mean.
Aristotle, Ethica Nichomachea

Hi,

I think that this is a deal breaker, you have to have something more or less funny or interesting to say even if it is a lie.

I was out on Wednesday and didn' realise that after saying hello, I could easily have slipped in the "did you see that fight outside a moment ago?" line from Mystery.

I didn't use it but it would have gone down OK and probably would have been believed. Again it would have got the conversation going and would been more interesting than whatever else I was talkign about, the forth coming easter holidays etc.

Also, i don't think that basically that the girl wants to hear that you just jumped out of a plane 36000 feet high and landed on a hotties roof.

they wouldnt beleive that crap anyway so ...
i find that when i click with a babe conversation isn't so tricky anyway.
on saturday night i was talking to a babe who i had worked with sometime ago and we clicked. we must have been talking for about an hour. So, I think that if it is on between you and a girl then conversation is much easier.
Having said that those uncomfortable silences are to be avoided at all costs which is why it comes in handy to have a few threads to mind just in case you are stuck.
Think about them beforehand of course. I have to agree with the 90/10 rule, that you are required in the beginning to supply 90 percent of the convesation. you must go in with stuff just ready to go. I am working on mine.... I am still on the learning curve too.

Best of luck!!!!

Personally I avoid Mystery Method lines. They're so well known now that you run the risk of being laughed at in my opinion. Anyone who's watched The Pickup Artist or read The Game knows those lines so I'm pretty certain they get used a LOT in the field.

It's ground that I don't want to step on so I prefer to open with eye contact, quick kino escalation, some mild cocky funny and a favor opener and move on to a something similar to mystery method by story threading something in about a bouncer (who doesn't have a story about a bouncer!?) or bartender or something.

Last night I actually had a bit of a revelation about my sticking point which is that I neg too heavily and too often. I'm going to be pulling back on that and focusing on escalating attraction before playful negging like the classic "is she always this difficult" or Adams (which I actually prefer) "I've only just met you and already you're giving me trouble!" (the reason I like that more is it subtly talks about her giving me something and makes her want to *give* me something good). Which one I use depends on the friend crowd and their social dynamic.

Oh and I used a "thumb war" routine as a fantastic way to escalate kino yesterday. I'm going to test it in some sets and find out whether it's actually better to win or lose...

Patrick

Indelible

Another person trying too hard.

Listen mate, to be honest, first of all I'm going to clear up a common misconception, you don't have to be reaaaallly "alpha" in order to be successful, if you aren't naturally, you never will be unless you have been raised that way, anyone who disagrees is just kidding themselves. But the great saving grace here is, you dont have to be!

Although 'being yourself' is not the best approach to use, it sure helps your inner game if you try to improve yourself but don't change who you are already.
Mystery may big to differ, but I hate his methods and think he's a try hard nerd and I think most people would agree that no amount of nail polish, make up, crazy hats or other peacocking items of clothing will ever disguise the fact he is a loser and he is anything but alpha male, I mean, have you seen some of his videos on youtube? Yikes.... its embarresing to even watch him and the girls he has probably forced to be there.

As for being interesting, take up a sport, dress stylishly (if you have the money) and failing that, read about interesting subjects like the way people think or stories in the popular press. Do you have friends? If not thats a bit of a dis-advantage but if so, go out and live a little, get really drunk with them and get out of your comfort zone, just do something! anything! be pro-active and you will be rolling in so much interesting you just won't know what to do with it all!

Scroll down to see how to DHV a normal unexciting day, keep reading to see my suggestion to you:
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My suggestion to you would honestly to just get a hobby, even if it's a simple one, if you are passionate about something, people will be more likely to be passionate about you.

I used to sit at home all day playing Everquest and Xbox. I never did anything, had very few friends, and If I left my room it was to get food. Yea, that sucked the dick right out of the asshole of life.

BUT I did have things I was passionate about. I loved art, I loved to rap, I loved to be funny, and while I had all these things I really liked, I never practiced any of them.

So then I decided, ok let's do this. I started writing, painting, scultping, rapping, doing standup comedy, and so on and so forth. Everything you do in life has a story to it, now it's up to you how you tell the story, how much emphasis you put on it, how your delivery is. THIS is what you need to do.

Here is how and ordinary day can be DHV
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Boring guy: Yea, I took the city bus to school today it was so fucking crowded, went to school, ugh i hate my teachers they are so mean i dont think they like me. Then i went to the gym, it sucked though because I didnt even want to go to be honest

DHV guy: Lol I had the craziest day today. Ok first, i woke up late as hell, and I don't drive to school so here I am stuck with taking the bus, again. My god, it was so freaking crowded but the cool thing is, when the bus is like that, you see the weirdest people. haha i saw this one black guy who was literally dark as night with bright ass white hair and this weird ancient japanese samurai mustache.

he was creepy as hell, it's like he spilled ink onto a peice of paper then gave it a sword and told it to yell out "Kurrrriiboooo"(some japense sound effect) THEN when i finally got to school I fell asleep lmao, yea i know, my teachers hate me but the worst part is, I must have been having an awesome ass dream, because when I woke up, I had the HUGEST stiffy.

It was so embarrassing because I had to go to the gym right after and it would NOT go away. There was no way in hell I was working out in sweat pants in a room full of guys looking like I'm smuggling cucumbers, so i had to workout in jeans =/ lol so yea, how was your day?

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So yea, see the difference? By the way that's a true story lol, It's not even an exciting day, just normal shit, said enthusiastically with a few funny things thrown in for good measure and wha-la, it makes you look like you had an adventure.

Look at it this way. If you go to a bar or a club and you're checking out the hot girls, the hot ones 7+ are more often than not the ones in make up with decent clothes etc.

They invest a LOT of time and effort into that make up and clothing every single day.

A lot of guys have this idea and this hope that there's a magic button that will just make girls fall all over them. Hold on to your handrails boyo because this may come as a shocker but there ISN'T!

I know a guy for instance who is a little bit podgy. Not fat, just podgy. He never makes the effort to talk to girls so he tends to get left in the shadows. When I try and encourage him to he tells me he wants to lose more weight at the gym before he does. He's just making excuses. He's even thinking of moving to Manchester because he says that girls in London aren't his type! Can you see how mad that sounds? But he genuinely seems to hope it will work.

In the same way girls work at make up and their hair and clothes we have to do the same by DHV in terms of personality. Remember - girls mainly go for personality. Guys mainly go for looks and body. Girls show off their looks and body with their cleavage out and with their make up. For us to show off our personality we have to work at it - as people have said, take up a sport, a martial art. Find passion in what you do and never NEVER say "oh it's really boring" or anything similar. If you tell someone something is boring, they'll find it boring because you'll say it in a boring way.

In terms of Mystery and his peacocking I have to agree I think that Mystery over peacocks. I think that dressing stylishly and then having one item of OTT peacocking paraphernalia (eg crazy sunglasses) is perfect for attention grabbing without looking like a tosser!

Hi Again

Thank you all for your replies... i really appreciate all the input you guys have given me.

Just to make one thing clear... i HAVE a life and i HAVE alot of friends.... i think my main problem is having the conversations.. the interesting ones... i cant talk and talk and talk about anything and everything and give my opinion and all that, but i cant seem to make it interesting...

i've always had problems with "so what do i talk about now?" and i didnt find a definitive solution to it... i've tried to read some books on how to have a nice and interesting conversations, but they all present their information in a superficial kind of way and they always give you trivial explanations...

For the record, i go clubbing almost every week, i go out every single day of the week with friends after work, i work out... i don't think i lack that "life" factor... So i guess my main problem is transforming all those experiences to meaningful, interesting conversations...

Thank you again for your responses!! I appreciate it!

JSPUA