I Find Cold Approaches Awkward



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 6:37 pm 
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I do!

I find I can only open if the girl is in a similar surrounding or situation as me. I.e., standing next to me in a bar, shopping besides me, as a customer, any situation where its easy to open.

It seems un-natural to go up to a girl across the road and open her.

Am I the only one who feels like this?


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:53 pm 
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No, you certainly are not on your own. I find it OK to open people next to me but like you say, actually walking over, going out of your way, doing an approach is intimidating and I am sure that few people are completely immune to this.

Just going through the process of getting more and more practise and trying to get rid of this notion that it is creepy to talk to total strangers and try to strike up a relatioship. Then there are days too when you feel really confident and funny and what have you and other days when you don´t feel worthy to even say hello to the hottie who lives next door.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 2:03 am 
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Good advice from Mr. E. Like the OP though, I feel a little off when making a cold approach towards someone across the room. I tend to look for an "in," basically an opening topic I can use. However, a girl I am next to on line or a girl sitting next to me in lecture is easier, since we're in the same place.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 3:00 am 
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Cold Approaches just mean you have no previous contact.....so girl next to you at bar is a cold approach

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 8:55 am 
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This is approach anxiety for you. 99.999% of all guys have it...


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 11:48 am 
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This is the way I see it: A cold approach is one where you hav to go out of your way to approach someone. So a girl at the bar, a girl at the dance floor, is not a cold approach, it is situational. They are putting themselves out there and not shielding behind some cloak.

Whereas if you consider a girl walking on the street, in the library, or just one drinking cocktail with her friend in a bar, would be a cold approach.

As for the OP, yes, it is very very difficult, and you have lot of chances to get rejected in this. Tbh, the rejection feels a bit more plausible in this type of approach, as you are infringing on someone's personal space. But this is something that prepares you for rejection better.

My advice (and I have been trying to follow it as well), go out and speak to 10 girls, strangers, with the sole purpose of getting rejected. Once you do that, tell me the results...

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:51 pm 
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My advice (and I have been trying to follow it as well), go out and speak to 10 girls, strangers, with the sole purpose of getting rejected. Once you do that, tell me the results...

Yeh I was thinking this too...

How do you put yourself in that frame of mind first as U still need to do a cold approach?


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