So I met this girl at a really loud house party last Friday. I'd say she's an HB9. I read a bit of "The Game" so i knew i had no time to stare at her... She did look pretty familiar and I drew a blank on what to say so i decided what the hell ill just pull the cheezy you look familiar line.

I said to her "You look familiar but i have no clue where i know you from... Do I look familiar to you?"

She said, not at all... I kept on going with it trying to figure it with her by asking her what she does, what college she went to etc. (Truthfully i wasnt happy about doing this but i drew a blank and i wasnt drunk enough to come up with anything good)

I spoke to her for a bit but there were like 2 people around us just listening in so when i ran out of questions i was pretty much screwed. I would normally ask for her number but couldnt do that in front of everyone. So I just asked her for her full name and when she walked away I told her ill get her on FaceBook.

then she pulled out her hand like in a handshake and said it was nice meeting you. (i dont know if this has any form of meaning)

Next day I found her on facebook and sent her a message (I didnt add her as a friend).

(She told me that she works in marketing for one of the corporations here) Here's what i sent her:


Hey HB9, it was nice talking to you last night.

I could'nt get a chance to last night and I definitly would rather ask you
you in person...

Did you want to go out for coffee some time?

Well, I hope I haven't lost the first-mover's advantage. I also hope I'm using that term properly but you can let me know...

-myname



Basically, before i wrote the msg, i went online and searched for marketing terms and I found that first mover's advantage term. I decided i should try to be a bit funny. I also knew i was probably using the term improperly but i didnt care i just wanted her to msg me back.

This i what she wrote:


Hey myname,

haha i am not sure what we were talking about, but the reference to the first mover's advantage is a bit lost on me lol

sorry i was a mess friday!


So here's what i'm trying to figure out: What in the world does that message mean? she totally ignored what i wrote about the Coffee.

Why is she laughing if she doesnt get it?

Then most importantly why did she say she was a mess friday? she seemed fine to me at the time she didnt look too wasted..

Now here's the deal, after reading a lot of posts on the forum i realized i made some mistakes.. question is should I respond with a neg, im kinda worried to because she seemed really nice, i dont think she would take well to it, as well she went to business school so shes not exactly a ditz.

I told this to a couple of my friends and they just said she makes no sense... After reading some posts on here i really think someone here can figure this out.... Maybe even have ideas how i can respond to this...

Thanks for any help!

Shes is laughing because she doesnt get it, she probably doesnt know what it means.

And she was probably a mess at the end of the night and doesnt remember anything from it.

It seems to me like you are coming across too nicenice, I think that you should have said somehting like "Oh its you, werent you that girl that was trying to give me her one liners at that party?" its shame I had to go, how was the hangover?

I think were you have went wrong is asking her out, from the word go, you should have had a good negging session before you popped that question. Takes patience.

I personally have the attitude "I'll do what I want bitch, deal with it" which always helps haha

But seriously it seems like that you have a few insecuritys, "i wasnt drunk enough" and "I spoke to her for a bit but there were like 2 people around us just listening"

I think you need to sort this out first.

I see now that this is the way I should go from this point on.... To be honest with you i dont really have much of a problem in terms of confidence to go up to her if im not drunk, im just way more talkative if ive had a little to drink.. Either way i do need to work on that i do agree..

anyhow, is this shot? should i just give this one up or is there something i can say to recover?

I think that at the moment the only thing you have is: I m a friendly person I m not opposed to meeting people, and I m giving you a chance cause I was actually a mess that time...

if we talk in percentage I would say you are bout 3% of the way to picking her up (yes, really not far) hence I would advise to see her and get some serious flirt going and never forget about the kino and bodylanguage... girls are seriously suseptible to that (at least here in the uk)

a little touch on the arm or the shoulder can take you far... so it s really not hard.

If you are seriously in doubt I would go and watch some videos of AFCAdam... he demonstrated quite well how to talk to girls and steer a conversation.

_________________
Hut

I have no way of seeing her cause she was a random meet and we have no common friends...

Ok this is what i want to write:


I was expecting you to know your stuff... but i guess you were more of a pretty face...

No

Aight so youre telling me im screwed... cant be nice cant neg wtf am i supposed to say to this girl...

Truth is, you built little comfort and little attraction. I think the best hope for this is to be witty and make her want you via private msg in facebook, not the easiest thing to do but if there's no other option you can't lose.

Be a little mysterious, a little playful, and most of all don't ask her out... tell her your going out and she could come with if she wants, cheers.

Look . . . you basically texted a stranger and asked her out for coffee. Instead of being a straight forward "normal" dude, you're this giggly-try-to-be-funny, pick her up with innuendos type guy because you're too "nervous" to tell her how you feel.

If you're that nervous about it, don't even mention the "first mover" bullshit. Just go straight forward and tell her what you feel comfortable with and don't tell her anything you're not comfortable with.

Stop pussy footing around and making excuses. "I would have, should have, last night but I didn't . ." She gets your innuendo . . .she's just laughing because it's creepy. What the hell is she, your target market? And after all that, the comment was just a demonstration of how uncomfortable you are with this.

So your message reads like this:

"I'm very, very, very nervous. Would you like to possibly go out to coffee with me? Because a coffee date to me is very, very serious. I hope you think that it's OK and I hope you don't think I'm a dork."

Having said all that, the girl replied the best way she could have applied to the type of text you sent. I'm actually quite shocked she even replied.

1. You texted her without enough preparation. Think tank right now a few fun things. Sure . . . the "fun" thing can be coffee but it's not just "coffee sometime". It's, "Hey, there's this cafe close to where I live where the girl draws this little heart on my cappuccino. It's a cool place. We should check it out.

2. After you have a FUN EVENT in mind, then text her something like, "Friday!! Ha ha . . .that was fun." (Then ask some plain question that deserves some simple answer such as) "Hey, did I fall down or anything? LoL" [NO MORE creepy weird ass made up shit! This is how normal people converse.]

3. Now she WILL text back, "Blah, blah, blah"

4. The "blah, blah, blah" is only confirmation that she is sitting somewhere with her PHONE IN HAND. She can't flake out. She can't tell you that she was busy. So NOW YOU CALL HER fully knowing she WILL 100% answer your call.

5. Convo goes something like:

You: Yo ______, well that's good to hear that I didn't fall down or anything. . .lol, I guess I was a bit of a mess too.

Her: blah, blah, blah.

You: Hey _______ (fun event invite) Example: What are you up to on Friday? (Answer to that is always "I don't know") There's this band playing at _____. I hear they're going to be the next Nirvana or something. Want to check it out?

Done. . . . And don't thank me yet. When you get your date confirmed, you owe me a beer. Have fun . . .

Ok, i wont thank you yet :) but youve definitly given me a solid ass post i'm going to try to work with...

So this is all over facebook private message because i wasnt able to grab her number (i will next time no matter what).

That being said, i wont be able to do the phone confirmation thing because its not over text. I'm going to have to do this over multiple private messages on FaceBook. The sad thing is I think she was partially interested at least curious when we left things off (probably why she even responded to my first lame attempt)

I'm gonna do my homework figure out something FUN and give it a real shot. let me know if there's anything i should know given that this is all going down over private message...

BTW its been 4 days since she sent me that msg and i know thats too long and now she'll try to make me wait too. I dont think i should mention anything like i was busy etc. so i wont. (ill just have to deal with the suspense)

Ill keep you posted on what happens.

Don't "analyze" this any further. 4 days, 7 days, facebook, blah, blah . . . This is a very simple matter. She probably digs you a bit and you dig her. You want to take her out. Simple . . . Start connecting with her again NOW!!!

It's true that some guys tend to get needy . . . but in total fear of the "needy" disease, many aspiring pua's tend to get aloof and calculating more than needy. By not contacting her for 4 days, you're basically telling her that you are either "chicken shit" or that she is as boring as chicken shit. You've got to keep up that rapport . . .

"Needy" is pm'ing her 4 times a day and begging for her date. However, you can keep YOU in her mind with a simple note, "Hey, I just ran into _____ from the party last week. Remember her? She says hi." . . .

You keep this thing going so that the back and forth communication isn't some tooth pulling uncomfortable experience. Then you just type up, "Hey, ever hear of _____ cafe/bar/club?"

At this point, getting her number isn't to "get her number". You get her number because you need to contact her for the "fun event". So it goes something like: (PM) "Cool . . . So I'll meet you at ________ at 7pm. Give me you number, I'll call you when I arrive."