I'm going to try to make this as quick as possible even though it deserves like 3 pages.

Anyway, I met this girl at the beginning of my semester and we've hit it off pretty well. We always hung out, (I never hit on her because my friend liked her so I gave him a chance) Anyway, it seemed like he fucked it up so I decided to start progressing things with her. So I finally start kinda liking this girl and I find out she has been seeing this other guy for a while. We would go out with a group of friends to the bars or something, we would be hanging out, and she would always meet up with this dude and just hook up with him. This basically happened like every weekend. So at first I was just like, whatever, I don't really care enough to battle for her with this guy.

However, one night we hook up , it included alcohol so that doesn't really count too much. Other nights we'll watch a movie holding hands interlocking out fingers. So I figure this girl likes me, yet every weekend she'll always meet up with this guy and hook up with him; sometimes in front of me.

Now the most annoying part is that we talked about this guy once and she said she doesn't even really like him that much which confused me even more. She also said she wasn't looking for a relationship really, so I'm just assuming she wants to hook up with guys and have fun which I can respect but I feel like she legitimately likes me. I get all the signs. But on weekend nights its like her fuck buddy comes and they'll make out.

I've never been in this kind of situation before so maybe you guys can help?

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"...so it goes"

No . . . not only at "first". You still don't really care enough to battle for her with this guy. You know it . . . and obviously she knows it. Hell, her fuck buddy knows this as well . . .

^Agree...

Wow...oh my sweet jesus...you are the quintessential 'AFC'. As in, you are the primest prime example of an AFC.

You're the "nice guy" who she uses for "nice guy time", and her fuckbuddy is the guy who she fucks.

What do you want with her? If you want to fuck her, then fuck her. Why are you wasting your time holding hands and shit? If you want a relationship, then fuck her too. Because you ain't gettin it no other way.

It honestly pains me to have read this post. What's wrong with you man? Can't you see...

holy shit i got completely lost in that whole situation i didnt even realize im the fucking loser , i swear i never used to be like this..

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"...so it goes"

Like Rafiel said, you are her emotional connection and the other guy is her sexual connection. She is getting the best of both worlds without being in an exclusive relationship which seems to be working out for her. It sounds like this girl just wants to have fun--but of course most girls crave intimacy such as cuddling, kissing, and holding hands. But FB's don't really do that too much because they are trying to separate the emotional connection with the physical one so they don't turn into a boyfriend. So she is getting that from you...and and in her mind, if you two hook up too that is a little bonus, but she doesn't want to be exclusive it seems. if you are fine with having someone to cuddle with and occasionally hook up with then keep doing what you are doing (the first time was a drunk thing but if you just go for it she will prob be okay with it as long as you arent displaying boyfriend vibes). But if you want more, it doesn't seems like this girl is going to give you more.

Ah, you're probably right Bonita. thanks a lot

I guess I just have one more question...I mean theres a chance youre wrong and i'm wrong. i feel like not really wasting any more time on this girl and im just wondering what would be the best way to find out if she really does like me?

_________________
"...so it goes"

You nailed it Bonita. I wish I knew then what I know now. I would have been better able to deal with a lot of similar situations. I eventually learned but it wasnt easy.

However, I have to say something...you cant always just turn off emotion. If you like someone, you are going to like them. And the more time you spend with them, and the more intimate you are with them, even if you tell yourself you wont get attached, it does happen. So just keep that in mind. Be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you can keep emotion out of it. If not, it may just be best to let it be.

Thread moved to Newbie Questions for quality control

1)Wasting ANY MORE time? What do you mean? You haven't done jack shit yet.

Secondly, get this through your head. Women DO NOT make decisions. They didn't decide which lipstick to wear this morning. They didn't decide which dress to wear. They didn't decide on their school, job, what they ate in the morning, etc . . . Everything they do is just a reflection of their needs to live and procreate, tempered by a few rules of her society so she'll fit in a bit.

2)The truth of the matter is that she doesn't "like or dislike" either of you mugs. Liking or disliking is not the issue here because remember . . . she doesn't make decisions. One guy dares to yank off her panties and bend her over so she takes it. The other guy "dares" to hold her hands so she rolls with it.

Never mind what the girl says. It's not that they are liars. They actually convince themselves when they say stuff like, "Oh, I got this handbag because I like it so much. . . .Oh, I got this boob job because I want to feel good about myself." . . . and "Oh, I'm not really looking for an exclusive relationship."

You're a man. If you want it, you can make it happen. Again . . . read what you wrote earlier and really think about this:
This is NOT what a man says but in fact the mantra of WOMAN. They simply drop their panties and bend over when they feel that a guy "really likes her" (in that way) . . . and yeah, "Oh I guess he likes holding my hand so . . . "

1. Reach down between your crotch and massage those two orbs gently to remind yourself that you have balls.

2. Start dictating your shit. You already fooled around with her in spite of your wussy behavior. Take control and BRING HER OVER your place on a weekend.

You: What's up this Friday?

Her: I don't know

You: How about we rent ______ movie and order a pizza

Her: Blah, blah, blah

You: 7:30pm

She shows up, you get your shit going. You can take this ANY way you choose.