Thanks, this sounds like a real solid way to build rapport and keep the conversation flowing without hitting too many road blocks. I think a lot of people do this naturally, but it is great to look at the mechanics of the interaction.

Great Post!

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Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. - Oscar Wilde

Well said Israel. The Yes=Yes, No=But is fantastic. A lot of PUA's will find themselves naturally doing this in conversation. It is key to not stumble out with a no=but response but to present it as a consistent point of relevance.

You will find that a disagreement can be good to, as I have watched PUA's go for the no=but response and fail simply because they lacked the wit to make it a smooth point of relevance. Disagreement can be good as it can be used to flow into a new topic or make the HB laugh.

Example: Harry Potter


HB: Oh no, I never really got into those - I kind of got tired of them halfway through the second book.
<----- This is a no. Let's turn it into a "but" ----->

PUA: Yea, but you see how those books have become ridiculous. They're like part of our culture now.

----Now this is a fantastic example of a no=but response. However, you can also transition into a new topic by tactfully changing your feelings toward harry potter. Make her laugh.


HB: Oh no, I never really got into those - I kind of got tired of them halfway through the second book.

PUA: Smile at her and say, "totally, who the hell likes that harry potter shit anyways". Shy away embarrassed that you like that harry potter "shit".

She'll laugh.

Then transition to a story of choice, follow the book topic if you like, but now you have a blank slate. It requires a little bit less thought.

no=but works great, but I have also found that a laugh can make for a much needed transition.


cheers Israel, great post.

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MakersMark

Fantastic post! The 90-10 deal gives a lot of insight on approaching. And the yes-but is great. I was reading NLP for dummies and it talks about similar situations with the words and, or and but. When you use but, the person won't pay attention to what you said before. If you say and, the person will connect to both the first and second part of the sentence. When you say or, it is similar to but. For example...

I went to San Diego this weekend but, I am going to LA next week.
(You are more likely to pay attention to the second part about LA) as opposed to...

I went to San Diego and I am going to LA next week
(Most people will associate the first part of the sentence with the second)


Anyway, awesome post, definitely going to be apart of my arsenal.

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"In all things be a master.
Of what you do, say and think." -Buddha

Genius! I guess you could even look at this as just another form of a "yes." The laugh is just a positive affirmation and then you can transition into whatever.

Thanks for all the replies!

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You're not gonna be having any less sex with her if you don't talk to her.

This is very similar to methods i learned in a marketing course.
The overall goal of course being to make the target feel comfortable with you.
And its soo simple!! When people disagree they feel distant and like they are on opposite sides of a battle.
This is a bad situation in marketing or when talking to a HB.
By making everything you disagree on transition (by saying but) into something you can agree on.
Just be careful how you phraze the next part.
You want to have the target agree with you so be sure to make the next part of the qeustion like a yes-hoop. The more yes-hoops you have her jump through the more she begins to feel an emotional connection with you.