Hey Everyone,


I want to thank all of you that are voting. I'm starting at the top of the list basically and wanted to get you all the best information I could about approaching during the day or as some call it "Day Game."


Many of the people I help in the community like to start out approaching and talking to women during the day. I find that a lot of guys are taken out of there element in a loud night club environment so this becomes a better option. Plus, you need to learn this so when you just happen to 'bump' into the girl of your dreams in the mall you know what to do.


Day time approaches are the absolute in cold approach pickups! It doesn't get any harder to make a first impression. When you are in a club for example she can see you interacting with others long before you approach her. You can demonstrate certain things by your actions and develop "social proof" prior to talking to her group. However, when you approach during the day time she has to judge you on more superficial things. She knows absolutely nothing about you except what she immediately sees. She is basically having to "judge a book by its cover."


As you approach you are being judged on things like: Dress/Fashion, Body Language, Eye Contact, Vocal Tonality, Demeanor, are you smiling, etc. She has to judge you by the outward things because that is all she can see of you. She has to make a relatively quick decision to talk to you or not based on these little things. So the first thing you need to learn about "day game" is that you need to get yourself together.


Speaking of physical appearance I have mentioned this on several blog posts. Make sure to be well dressed, groomed, and have a good haircut that is styled. Make sure to work on your body language and eye contact as well. This is a huge part of the approach. Are you standing straight, shoulders back, eyes looking at the horizon, but relaxed? That's typically the body language you are going for.


If you need more information about body language or fashion tips search the blog or feel free to email me. Jon@JSmooth.org if you have any specific questions.


Vocal Tonality & Volume is also something that is really important when approaching. Remember that "day game" is a lot lower energy that night time settings. You don't need to be bouncing off the walls with animation but you need to be enthusiastic still. Not to mention there is no need to yell, but you want to be loud enough to get her attention. She needs to know it is her we are talking to. You also want to make sure you are using a bit of discretion.


In a night time setting it's kind of a given that you are going to talk to random people and interact with them at some point in the night. During the day this is not assumed. It's not as normal to hit on strangers during the day. So you have to have some discretion in how and where you approach her. You want to be direct but not make it too obvious to everyone that she is being hit on. Which is why there any touching at first which we'll talk about later.


Now a great thing about the day time is that she won't be as guarded as she would be at night when she's out with her friends. She doesn't have that social pressure like she does at night or when with her friends to give you "shit tests" and things of that nature. This does make it easier to build a good connection with her.


With the day time you really have to cut through the bullshit. She didn't come to the mall to hangout with friends and drink all night while meeting new people. There can be some legitimate time constraints. She could be on her lunch hour, or have an appointment later. For that reason it's best to be direct with your approach and get to the point. Also, you have to consider that things are going to move faster.


I typically open with something like, "I just wanted to come over here and see what you are about. I'm Jon." I do this from about 4-5 feet away. During the day we have a bigger "comfort bubble" by which we allow people to get close to us than at night in a club which is more like 2-3 feet. Start a little further away when opening, plus it's quieter so it works, then slowly move toward her as you extend your hand. When I do I use a firm but not rough handshake while making eye contact. Which is going to be a key to being sincere and direct. Remember, you don't get a second chance to make a first impression.


Since you are going in direct a lot of the attraction is going to be assumed. By "direct" I mean we are immediately telegraphing interest in her. Now this still means you need to build attraction as well, but you are also going for comfort quickly. You are moving through the "steps" to things quicker just because of the legitimate time constraints. You're just hitting the key points. Even though the process moves faster the speed of conversation will be slower. Again, this is great for people starting out because you have more time to react. Since you have more free time there are other things to consider.


As you start talking to her you will need to figure out the logistics of what is going on shortly after opening and talking to her. You need to know how much time you have to work with in order to know if you are getting a phone number or trying to bounce to a new location. Figuring out the logistics with her schedule and where she is going to have to go is one of the first things you need to concern yourself with. Usually this will come up in natural conversation but if it doesn't then you might have to ask.


One of the biggest questions I get asked is guys asking me about whether or not they should touch a lot or "kino" during the daytime. My experience with this is "yes, but..." you need to wait until you can bounce and get isolation. The reason for this is the frame you two are in is completely different from when you first met. When you first meet it's the two of you standing at wherever getting to know each other around all these people. When you bounce to say a coffee shop or food court it's the two of you hanging out now.


I would still caution you to keep the kino light. Meaning I would stay on touching her hand or arm and not much farther. I also wouldn't do it too often. Furthermore, I wouldn't try to sexualize the conversation at all during the day. It gets really creepy when you do this.


Remember you are being judge harsher up front than you normally would, plus during the day it's not as accepted as it would be in a night club. If she really opens up to you after you two are isolated and starts flirting with you obviously then you can try to bring it out, but not until then.


Since I mentioned the "bounce" or "instant date" it's one of the biggest parts of day time interactions. As a matter of fact most of the experts consider it essential to getting further along with the girl, and I completely agree. While you two are talking and after you figured out logistics you want to get 1 on 1 with her quickly. You want to create the new "us hanging out" vibe. I usually say something like, "I guess you can't help where you meet people. I'm on my way to xxx to grab some xxxx for just a minute. You should come with me."


As I talk about in night time interactions you want to have your bounce locations in your mind according to where you are at. You don't want this more than just a few minutes "walk" away from where you are doing your game. This could be a nearby coffee shop, or food court. You want a place where you are going to be able to sit down for a moment. Keep in mind logistics and time constraints. If you can get her number after you bounce because it'll be easier now that you two have this rapport. Also, don't forget to try to setup a Day 2 on the spot.


I've talked about this before but basically when her "buying" temperature is up you should go ahead for the Day 2. She in a way is "buying" you. So when she is really in the moment hanging out with you is the time to set these things up. Have a few locations in mind ahead of time to take her for a date. It's up to you to lead the interactions. Don't start asking her where she wants to go because she'll say, "I don't know" almost 95% of the time, since she didn't plan this. You are the guy, you are in control, you get to lead and tell her where you two are going.


If you are able to get a bounce, a phone number, and a Day 2 set up consider it mission completed. If you are able to get anything further, like a kiss, then that is awesome! Many times you are going to have to settle for a phone number and rely on your abilities to communicate with text and over the phone to build more attraction/comfort/rapport to get a Day 2 setup later on.


These tactics should get you started during your "day game" interactions and put you on the path to getting more phone numbers, "instant dates," and ultimately more dates later on.


See you out there in the sunlight,


Jon

Hey jsmooth!!! i just read your post and you give great tips... but my question is how do you approach girls during the day with them listening to music while shopping???