Background: I'm in my late twenties post divorce in a master's program. Met HB8 and was told she was into me by my roomate; her male friend. Went out on a few non-dates, both of us gave up way too much personal info, and it got awkward. Got nervous, pretty much blew it, but I wasn't rude or anything so we stayed cool.
Went out a few times with friends on non-dates, got along fine. A week later, she invites me to hang out, I get along with her friends and her. Caught her checking me out (I work out). I didn't think much of it, but invited her over for some drinks. She comes over, we chill. Drink a few. I drink much more than her, cause I'm not even thinking about anything happening or even trying, really, and I just finished a bunch of tests. So she gets ready to take off, and moves in for a hug and kiss closes me! And for like 15 seconds, open mouth. With my roomates in the place. I was totally cool in the kiss. I put my hand on her neck, didn't slob. Then she JETS out the living room and nearly trips on the door on the way out. I texted her something funny like I can't wait to watch a movie again (I'm sure I shouldn't have)... No response. Texted her the next day to have a kick ass spring break and I had a good time (again shouldn't have, probably). She gave a positive response. Anyway she'll be back in a week from wherever. Suggestions on how to play it? And where did the kiss come from? Thanks for any thoughts!

How to play it? I would simply play it like it's no big deal. I figure you've been kissed a lot in your lifetime so one more kiss doesn't mean a lot. Don't talk about it really, and don't think too much into it.

Where did it come from? Only she can answer that. It could have been you looked hot that night and she was drinking so... then was embarassed after the kiss and left. It could be anything really. Bringing it up will make things awkward. Go on like it never happened and be her friend.

**I noticed you had a duplicate post in the newbie section of this so I removed it**

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

These Yoda mind game guesses are fun and I'll give it a twirl, but remember . . . it's only my guess and that's it.

Obviously you are both into each other. So if a girl waited through all those "friendly dates" . . . then finally made advances at you, she was probably thinking to herself that whole time, "When the hell is this guy going to grab me and kiss me??"

She needed to be a bit tipsy and she just went for it out of LUST. You needed to reward her BIG TIME for being forward and going for it. Instead, you just left it at that . . .

Of course any guy will kiss her back. Who wouldn't? Hell, kissing is fun right? But she's not looking only to be reciprocated. She's looking to see if YOU have as much interest in her as she obviously has for you. Of course she's going to bolt if you just stand there. The thing you needed to tell her right then and there at that moment was, "Oh My God . . .I've been thinking about kissing you for the longest time . . . You are so gorgeous."

"I can't wait to watch a movie again . . " = You seem to know that this is was a bad move. It's a bad move because essentially your telling her, "Well, that was great. You lunged at me and kissed me. I can't wait to watch the movie again so the horny girl will jump all over me again!"

So if the above was a bad statement, what would be the opposite of that? Instead of being passive, you need to be Pro-active. Instead of being the "class clown" who just got kissed, you need to step it up, be a man, and sweep her off her feet.

That's my guess.

Thanks for the thoughts. Hard to hear, but I'll work on that.

Lots of women are into confident guys who will just go after her . . .

When women have to initiate and the guy doesn't reciprocate similar emotions right away, they tend to go into "shut down" mode. After this moment, they figure the only reason why you're after them is because they already made themselves "easy". No girl wants to be easy. . . until they become 45 and desperate . . . (well, see why no girl wants to be easy?)

When she gets back, don't expect to start off where you left off. Begin from the beginning. Flirt with her, tease her. And she might test you, "Well, I'm thinking we should just be friends . . ." This is when you go, "OK, I'm down with that. . . so what should friends do this weekend? Hmm. . ." Like it was NOTHING.

She'll come back around . . .

Ok, I can handle that. If she doesn't come around, I'll at least have a female friend for new social circle, and will have learned a thing or two for the next HB.

So being the enterprising not-quite PUA, I decided to befriend and hang out with a male friend of the girl that I had seen her with often. I had assumed he was gay given some conversations I'd overheard, and was really just going for intel. In talking with him, I found out that he's not, and that he and the girl have 'something going on' that is on the downswing. So I'm guessing that that's why she bolted after the kiss and has been flakey before that. I'm guessing that she is attracted to me but felt guilty about the dude/her reputation. And he's in an 8 year LTR (or was; now he wants out after having a hot 20 year old). I just told him the equivalent that I think she's hot and I'd date her, but nothing that went between us. He seemed ambivalent.
Bad news? Chance for a good lay but not relationship material? Any additional thoughts?

It sounds like you have more seduction than attraction and comfort... I know that problem. Sometimes girls can be totally turned on by you but never know why. Sometimes if the comfort is not there or not built before seduction she will get buyers remorse.

Do what Jsmooth told you, pretend it never happened. You were both drunk and it might not have happened.

Avoid "scheming" stuff with other guys behind her back. This is the kind of stuff that chicks do in hair salons. It can't help you in any way . . . and your strategy remains the same.

Ok; that kind of crap takes more work than it's worth, anyway. And someone will get hit eventually.

She did come around, though. I kiss closed her today after inviting her to go study. I've been studying the stuff on confidence here obsessively and making myself smile and say hi to girls all day on campus while looking them in the eye. Scared the shit out of me at first but now I'm getting into it.
Anyway, it gave me the cool enough to be funny and smart with her all evening. The kiss was AFC as hell. Tried to kino, but it came off awkward cause I'm not a touchy dude to begin with, and more importantly, I can't practice kinoing chicks on campus all day. So later I just said fuck it and kissed her shaking and everything. It ended up cool; told her I just need to practice more or something. Doesn't matter; she laughed and we kissed again.

Thanks for the feedback. Need to keep learning. This is gold.