Hey, got some new question.

I was sitting with this girl (it was like the 3d time I met her) on a couch and we were kissing, making out and she got pretty excited. After I reached for the lower parts (hum..) she immediately said something like "No I don't think so", I didn't really knew what to answer so I didn't said much.

I just stopped making ou with her, with her laying on me. Then she told me "don't be sulky" (or something like that, don't really remember the words). I said, "no it's not that, you just cut me off". And the she said I should better leave and left with a hurry, then msging me saying we should cancel the next date we've allready settled and blaming that all guys are same and some other bullshit. I responded that there won't be another date anyway and explained here that it's normal stuff cause we're humans and that she liked it when we were making out (and I she really did), I'm really tired of this girl (not really for what happened but for her overal attitude anyway).

So, I don't really put any more hopes in this girl (well it doesn't really make me happy but that's life I guess) but maybe I could learn something from this, did I do something wrong, what could I have done better?

Ok man, you are wise to want to learn from this situation. First of all, you were sitting on a couch? What couch? Your couch, her couch, a couch at a party? If you were at a social event, or even a small gathering, very very few girls will allow you to do that with others around. They are out there for sure, but thats for another thread.

We will assume you were at a private location. Girls will stop you from escalating for various reasons, but the number one and by far most common is thier instinctive ASD, or anti-slut device. This is a little red flag that shoots up when they are not comfortable with you yet. Don't take it personal, happened to me last week. This reason on its own is a bad reason to call off all future 'rapport' with the girl. Shes just not warmed up enough towards you. Don't just quit dude!

What you should have done was say "Ok, thats totally cool" then gone back to making out with her, and to touching her (caressing her ) where she was allowing you to. She liked making out with you right? She was on top of you right? Don't get huffy-puffy when she draws a line, this shit is an art of finesse, not a grope fest. A lot of guys will do whats called a freeze-out, which holds a certain amount of merit, but I personally find it childish. Maybe someone else could explain it, or you can search it out yourself. It can be hit and miss, at least it was when I played around with it.

Myself, I go the 'two steps forward, one step back' route. So shes not hot yet. The idea is to get her to the point where she is begging you to peel those panties off. Learn about erogenous zones. Hit 'em up like 2pac! Learn to be sensual. Don't suck at kissing. Nape of neck, earlobes, inner elbows amongst other places. Get her wet! Remember, chicks love sex more than we do. Its true. Also, soft spoken 'no's or 'uhuh's = 'not just yet...' Hard spoken 'no's mean 'step the fuck back.' (thats important to note) Hope this helps.

Edit... I know I mentioned ASD above, which plays a serious role, but that applies more towards social settings. What I should have said, and more specifically to the point I believe is whats called "token resistance.' Thats when the chick resists cus she is programmed to not be easy. Silly girls!

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Make Moves

Swoop

Hi, it was my couch, at my place. I wouldn't have done it at a social gathering. It is the same couch we allready met eachother 2 times before. Then I didn't escalated (because I didn't dare to do it), even if I maybe fucked it up I'm still glad I did escalate 'cause normally I don't. I don't think I escalated that bad, I know I got her excited, maybe I was a bit quick on the pussy grabbing althought.

It was indeed token resistance, she deffinately doesn't want to be seen as an easy girl, we even talked about this the same evening how she would prefer to be fat and ugly so guys wouldn't want her for sex only (and other half-bullshit like this) and I agreed it must be difficult for a girl and for that I'm glad I'm a male (and I really think this, I rarely lie to girls I mostly say what I think). So it's pretty ironical I tried to escalate maybe an hour later .

I did made a little Freeze-out, I removed my hands of her, but I let her stay on me. After only 30 seconds of freeze-out or so she told me she would leave. Yeah maybe I should have said "Ok that's totally cool" but I was really tired of her arrogant behavior, and when she told me she was going to leave I was thinking (but not saying it) Just get the hell out of here I'm tired of you. I just opened the door and let her go without even looking at her.

This girl is really into me but at the same time she is very arrogant and bitchy, and I make fun of her because of that. She's really acting like she doesn't care about me and at the same time she keeps msg me and all this stuff. So I told her "maybe yout should find someone else, did you learned to behave like this by reading magazines, maybe we'll stay friends, I know you're not really like this,...".

Now she texted me some stupid message like : "you should send me the picture you made of me before you delete it.." so I don't think she will forget me instantly.

This shit is really draining a lot of energy from me. It's not the most mature girl I ever met...

I think the only thing I can do now is freezing her out (if she does keep txting me) and maybe txt her later on the day and say we should stay friends or so and wait some days and see if she totally comes back to me. What could I do else? I feel like if I don't act that way we are still in the same tiring game of her with no end.

By the way i cut off the shit, this girl is too impossible to handle anyways. I told her to stop sending me msgs

Well, you learned something from the interaction with her and that's the point. No pickup or escalation for that matter is "perfect" and there is always something that could have been done differently.

You're following the right idea. GAME OVER with this one, but you still have lives left, back to level 1.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Right on. J is right. You can always ALWAYS start over with a new girl, which is the best answer for your current situation I would agree with. Abundance. I still think you could get with this chick, but if shes mentally draining, why bother? Drop her if shes a lost cause and dont think twice about it. HOWEVER, lots of high quality chicks who know theyre high quality lay down the gauntlet, so to speak. Meaning they will typically be harder to get with. This one sounds like shes interested in a relationship which magnifies the situation because she is looking for someone who can handle her. Your call tho man. Its always your call.

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Make Moves

Swoop

To such response you could have said:

"I don't promise any such thing. Friends don't put each other into boxes like that. The only thing I'll promise is never to do anything unless you and I both feel totally comfortable, williand, and ready." (The Game)

Straight out from The Game, pg40, foot-note.

Yeah, well we do still msg. This girl can be a real bitch and I mean a real real bitch .

But I realised that if I want to be with an attractive girl I'll have to learn to deal with difficult (or even real bitches like this one!) girls, so I didn't cut myself off completely (yet).

It's really hard shit (psychologically), it sometimes really makes me angry, I guess i have to get used to it. I don't think this will become something, I really doubt it.

But I guess I should learn to be more patient and blowing everything off is no good. I don't know, this girl really makes me angry but maybe I better learn from this...Letting your emotions completely take you over seems no good but it can be really hard not to do it.

Now I told her I don't send txt msgs to get attacked, so if she wants to attack me she just should do it for real.

I mean I'm not an unattractive guy I often get looks from girls, but I have lots and lots of problems with opening up (but I guess that's another story I won't talk about here).

Hmmm, seems better than to blow everything off on the spot, right? (especially if you change your mind afterwards because she's acting normal again)

If she's a bitch who you don't enjoy the company of, then don't enter a relationship with her. Just fuck her!

You should apologise for the way you acted and if she wants to take it slow, then you need to be OK with that!

http://www.puaforum.co.uk

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