I know exactly what you mean! I want a girl (maybe a few) who extremely enjoys our time together, but excludes you in their life plan, and will remain your friend after the connection fades. right now I don't think my current gf is this kind of girl. I decided to be polyamorous after we started dating, and she didnt take the news too well. I'm more than likely break up with her, but I have to be sure that I leave her better than I found her (shouldn't be too hard), but I think that she might have been more accepting of it if I had told her this before we started dating. now I have something to field test
good luck with your ltmr's man!