Yeah, I have a few plans I'm formulating in my head for that... Have any of this NLP advice that Tripp was talking about??

Dude...this is my first post on this forum, and I'm finding out that I'm not the only one learning the Game to get over an ex, just got out of a 5 year deal with mine, we were engaged. I also tried all the typical, calling/texting all the time, demanding an explination for our break up crying like a bitch etc. I found out that the thing she hated most about our relationship was that I was too controling of her. So I e-mailed her one last time told her I valued the learning experience, that I was going to date other people and she should too. I said I didn't want to see her and told her that I would touch bases with her in a moth or so to see how she ws doing. I erased her name on my adress book and repaced it with the name "Not an Option" to remind myself not to call and then didn't.

You know what the bitch called me out of the blue a few days later later, I let it go to voicemail. She said she's been having dreams about me "wanted to make sure I was OK" I e-mailed her back said that I was more than OK I was Great! But that I didn't want to talk to her. Said I would see her after the month was up for coffee or something. She hasn't stopped calling texting me since. I'm just going to let her hang, go out and do my thing. Blow her away with the new me in a month then let her hang some more, then I don't know what.

Just wanted you to know I feel ya, and what seems to be working for me.

Peace.

Cool man it's good to know I'm not the only one!!

I know if I had just done something like that when we originally broke up then it would have been fine... but I fucked up and then waited too long so now I'm stuck in some sort of strange super-LJBF zone. Let me know how it goes with you.

marzman, first of all, welcome to the forum.

Now, you handled that JUST right. Keep doing what you're doing. You are now in the driver's seat with her, just DO NOT give in to her after the month is over. You'll be RIGHT back where you were if you do. Just how exactly where you too controlling is what I'd like to know? Either she is saying one thing and really wanting another thing, which is pretty typical actually, or you really were controlling, not letting her be social, have friends, all of that stuff.

Either way, great changes you're making. Keep it up!

Thanks LA,

Yes I really was controlling Not that I didn't let her have friends or go out at all, as long as there wasn't something I wanted her to do, My shit ALWAYS came first, I would give her ultimatums like "if you don't like you can leave".And she eventually did, after years of this, its amazing she put up with my shit for as long as she did. Anyway won't bore with details, but yes I was controlling.

Yeah I think I'm doing the right thing NOW, but believe me I did all the typical wrong stuff for the last 2 months, all of it. So Cloud Its still worth a try, You just have to be totally prepared to lose her. It may happen. But you don't owe her anything by keeping your dick in your pants, Yeah other girls won't smell like her, talk like her, seem interesting compared to her, blow you like her.

But If you’ve had that once with her you can have it again with someone else. If your telling yourself different your just fucking yourself. You don't have to go out and find your Mrs. "right" there will be no replacement for her. But do go find Miss "Right Now" Have some fun don't feel guilty about it, and really try not to contact her until you've had sexual encounters with at least 3 hotties, I'm not saying you have to bang em all, but just know that you could. Let her smell your finger next time you see her after your next FC, LOL. Im 35 I don't even know why I thought of that.

Good advice man, thanks.

But I doubt you were as bad as me when we first broke up, I was the absolute EPITOME of desperate loser. I have never cried so hard in my life, not even when my mother died.... And I did it in front of her. lol. I'm not sure it's recoverable at this point but I'm sure going to try. In like a month when I have a few successes under my belt (in pickup and otherwise) it's show time.

BAM!

Claire just hit the walk off home run folks. Game over. Good night. Thanks for coming out.

Cheers man. I had come to that conclusion too, glad you agree because I respect your posts dude

I don't want to get back together with her anyway - I think the other guys on here need to reach that point before getting back involved with ex's.

This is kind of just a different form of a question I asked earlier, but it's just an interesting angle to look at -

do you think there is a difference between the standard lets just be friends zone and the "we've already had sex" lets just be friends zone???

I would say the second one means you definitely did not satisfy her sexually.

this is always an interesting situation because it really does depend on the reason for the breakup and if it was definitely permanent. You meet very few of those that are "the one's" in your lifetime and if it ends you really don't want to let go. In fact, you'll even take them back if things work out that way but it should only be if it's that far along where you two would most likely be spending the rest of your life together.

I am however guessing that this isn't the case. Generally exes that you still maintain a friendship with won't talk shit.. in fact, they'll even speak quite well of you not just because they know you better.. but most have either a tiny bit of guilt or they'll want you to be with somebody else because they secretly want you to leave them alone despite still maintaining a friendship. It seems that this is the case for you which is quite good.

Therefore, the base case scenario is generally to use her as a pivot.. not only will a girl generally be impressed that you still get along with an ex and hang out as friends, but the fact that she speaks quite well of you without any sexual tension between the two of you will get you more play than you would have ever though possible..

MAKE HER YOUR PIVOT. once you're over her romantically that is

_________________
I'm an asshole and I approve this message

"I swear to tell you the whole truth, nothing but the blunt truth, so help your ego" i only sugarcoat things for women

My favorite commercial ever http://youtube.com/watch?v=TpxKYkcFRWk

Last semester in college I was the same. I was so desperate after my ex of 4 years i was crying about it and talking about it all the time like a fucking douche. I was a needy prick!!! The bad part about it was that my and her friends are the same. Pushed all my friends away cause i was always depressed and always talking about it. They kinda picked her over my after all that. i felt even more like shit. I'v decided Im going to change things this semester. Im done running after her no matter how much it hurts and no matter how much i want her. If I want her back then I have show that i have higher value and talk to other girls and be seen with other girls and just have fun. No more getting depressed. If i see her ill say whats up and thats it. I'v learned its better to leave her mind wondering. even if there is nothing going on between u and the other girl. she doesnt know that... im sure when u bak off she will come to u...

my Ex and i are the same way we just broke up 3 months ago but she changed and i started to try and game her and she got so mad but i figured o...well we broke up for a reason so now im going for her best friend

I am in a similar situation.... Me and my girl first love whatever you wanna call her.. broke up almost a year ago, I did the same thing after, acted desperate etc. I talked to her for the couple months after constantly trying to qualify for HER. I don't talk to her much any more but I think it would be interesting to see if I could rekindle anything with her... My one obstacle being that her and my "friend" like each other, so I can't bring up anything to explicit with her unless she were to run and tell him.. I need to build some trust. ( On a side note, If what I do was to interfere with him, that's great he can go to hell) Afterall he's already done me worse.

get on with it