One my BIGGEST problems with women is falling in love with them straight away. It always happens! I meet a nice girl, go out on a few dates and before you know it I’m besotted with her. And within a few weeks she’s gone. Every time! I’ve had my heart broken many, many times. Any tips?

Daryl

Oneitis is an unnatural and unrealistic obsession with one girl. It’s happened to virtually all of us. And women do it too!

The problem is, it undermines a new relationship by putting too much emphasis on it. For example, can you honestly be deeply in love after knowing some-one for a few weeks only? Realistically no! Because you hardly know that person. IMO, your life should not revolve around one person: you should have other things in your own life such as hobbies, interests, career/work, etc. So why drop all this or most because you meet some girl?

Women are wonderful, but don’t put aside all your other interests when you meet at new one.

I like this analogy that I am sure alot of us can easily relate to.
Have you ever gotten several video games at the same time? Like you went to Best Buy and bought like 4 games? Do you notice how you only play each game for a short time, and there is usually maybe one game you like more than the others, but you still find time to play the others?

What about when you only buy one game? Notice how you focus all of your video gaming time to just it?


I compare this to girls I meet. When you only meet one girl, you tend to naturally focus all of your "dating" energy on her. But when you meet several, and are juggling a few, you notice yourself spending about the same amount of time "dating" but it is spread out.
My two cents is that you should meet a few more girls. That will help kill onitis.

I think we agree, focusing too much attention on a new girl is a mistake! Yes be interested but by no means change your life or lifestyle to accomodate her.

She's only just one girl! And there's millions and millions out there!

One problem which i believe occurs when falling for a girl is the misconception of 'LUST' and 'LOVE'. I used to fall deep for a girl in the very early stages of a relationship, however i learned and now realise it is lust instead of love.
Lust is an 'intense or unrestrained sexual craving.' to mix the two - i feel is easy. This of corse is why you should spread your lust over many women in your life and settle down if you feel its right. Yet no one is perfect. The The US Divorce rate between 2004-2005 has double the recorded amount! i strongly believe that this 'Love at first sight' is lust being misunderstood.
so i agree with what Brad saying that 'She's only just one girl! And there's millions and millions out there!'

S

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You could gobble up all the knowledge in the known universe about seduction but you'll never know what works best with any given girl - unless you start experimenting, - Layguide

I totally agree with Brad and Sterlz. Love can't be mixed up with infatuation or lust. If you want to become a good PUA, dwelling on one girl won't help you. Move on. By the time you get that one girl to like you, you might realize that she may not be what you are looking for and you could have been with other girls with the amount of effort you used. One-itis is a trap that no one should fall in to.

Guys, please give your opinions: What is the difference between:

#1. One-itis
#2. Being in love
#3. Love

Keep in mind that #2 and #3 need not be the same thing. (Of course, there is no correct answer to this, but please give opinions.)

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- Spectrum
Age: 21
Status: RAFC

I think one-itis is when you are just beginning the game and put all your energy on the first girl that catches your interest.
Being-in-love I guess is a stage you go through at some point in the dating period. Love is when you find that one girl who has every personality you look for, who compliments your life (this goes both ways offcourse), after you've been gaming and got all the skills and know what you want in a woman. I guess that's when you find a soul that you want to be with.

One-itis is being absolutely besotted and infatuated with one girl. Its a horrible thing to happen. Its usually when you cant have her, for example she has a boyfriend, or has thrown you into the 'just friends' pit of no return.

Being in love is one-itis thats reciprocated by the girl

and love is the name of whats come over the two people when they have 'one-itis' with each other.

im not even going to try and give you advice on how to overcome it, because its happening to me right now and none of my techniques seem to work.

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contact me if you live near Exeter in England

One-itis is perhaps the owrst thing that can happen to any male. It restricts game, reduces your desire for other women and distracts you from every other aspect of your life. There is, as i have found, one solution for it.

1) The first thing you need is an attitude change. You need to come to the internal realisation, whether you impose this or not, that you are above having having someone or something cvontrol you. IM TOO GOOD FOR THIS.

2) Step one takes care of the logical battle. The next step is too get angry about it. Concentrate your anger towards your one-itis, then harness that energy to focus on the more important aspects of your life and move on. Heavy exercise is great for this.

3) Lather, rinse and repeat. After sustaining the emotional and logical battle your one-itis should abate allowing you to move on in life.

As a chronic sufferer of this condition most of my life i have found this to be my best solution. Like depression one-itis is normally self-perpetuating. Another key is to quickly distract yourself when you feel your thoughts aredrifting towards the girl your besotted with. I have used this technique to conquer depression as well as one-itis.

If all else fails see this as a situation to eject from. There is nothing a woman hates more than a needy man. I have actually noticed that once i make the mental decision to fuck a woman off, she actually starts wanting me more. It's a dynamic problem and you need to find the right equilibrium.

Sorry about the essay but this is a topic im quite passionate about.

COOKIE

I know I'm going to get crusified for this, but oh well lol.

I personally don't think one-itis is so terrible IF you have the skills to bag your one-itis. When you're an AFC, one-itis sucks because you're needy, horny, lonely, and you can't have her. However, if you have the skills then what's the big deal? Even though I don't like the man, Style is a prime example. When I was still an AFC and just getting into the community, I thought that one-itis was the most horrible thing known to man. And it kind of was because I was completely powerless to stop it. But now I don't have that problem anymore because if I do get one-itis my "training" tells me to rationally look at this particular PU as if it were any other. I bagged a chick who was my one-itis when everybody was saying "no way in hell."

Anyway, I'm not really disagreeing with you guys per se. I do agree that AFCs can't afford to have one-itis all the time. However, if you're a PUA, it's not as evil nor as debilitating as some would lead others to believe.

Just my two cents.

In many ways i agree with halloween, despite the fact that i am still AFC. One-itis is about a loss of power and that is what we are fighting against. The majority of us turn to the community because we are, as our name emphasises, FRUSTRATED. Noone can deny that game gives us mere mortals power over the fairer sex. By giving into your one-itis you are submitting to the woman, and handing over/ sharing the reigns of power in the relationship. This can be a beautiful thing when it is reciprocated. However, it has also gone bad too many times.

look don't worry about it one-itis doesn't last we all know the classic cure
FUCK A DOZEN GIRLS

hmm it takes me a lot to fall in love... id say just try not to think about her and sarge very often to keep her out of your mind... remember, she doesn't do it to you, you do it to yourself!

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"Man is the pupil, pain is his teacher."

fucking a dozen girls screams your lack of power.

What if you have such natural talent that you never fail to bag your one-its?

What if you have such belief in your ability that you are willing to let go, to be nice to someone, and to breed happiness in this world?

I know I have, I doubt most of the people on this forum who screams "never do things for women" do.