Hi everyone,

I just joined the community today. I feel a lot of pain as my g/f said goodbye to me. But I love her very much so my question is, what CAN I DO to get her back? To build attraction? I have been texting her and calling her like crazy but she does not reply. The relationship started to go downhill a month ago(I feel) as the number of text messages I recieved was gradually lowering. She stopped calling me altogether. She got bored of me?

My dear friends, what can I do?

-Friend in need.

P.S Please do not tell me to look for someone else. I am convinced she is the one for me. I'm looking for specific solutions.

Thank you.

Yeah, that'll be cos you're being desperate and needy. It's not attractive. Quite frankly, it's annoying and really quite sad. I'm telling you this for your own good, everybody else here (including the girls) will tell you the same thing. Don't take it to heart, it's not your fault you have emotions. You just have to learn to keep them under control a bit better.
Probably, yep. What kinda stuff did you guys do together? How was the sex?
Uh oh. Oneitis, look it up.

You're not gonna like the solution I have for you, but here it is. For starters you should definately stop calling and texting her so much. As a matter of fact, stop altogether. She obviously doesn't wanna talk to you and you're only digging the hole deeper with that kind of behaviour. It'll honestly get you nowhere, so for the sake of your own sanity just cut it out.

Ironically, the best way to get her back is to stop trying to get her back. And when she calls you after not hearing from you for a week or whatever, don't be like "thank god" and talk to her like she's made you the happiest man alive. Be up front and honest with her with regards to your feelings, but be a fucking man about it. Tell her you still wanna be together, but you know she didn't feel the same way and needed some space so that's why you stopped calling. Tell her if she doesn't wanna be together anymore you can't be friends and you don't wanna hear from her anymore, that way you can move on with your life.

If anything will make her reconsider, it's this. Be prepared to give it time... she needs to see that you're sincere. Have some respect for yourself and stick to your word... if you tell her this and start calling her again, asking her to take you back and shit like that, she's not gonna take you one bit seriously and you'll ruin everything.

Just to recap: Stop calling her, wait for her to contact you, be honest about your feelings and tell her it's your way or the highway. Be a man, take charge, and don't let her have the fucking upper hand. That's what you're doing right now and look where it's getting you. I say this in the nicest way possible... grow a pair. She thinks you're a pussy and feels like she's in charge. Put her in her place, but don't be an asshole about it. And don't be pushy.

Solomon is right on the money. A very well crafted post.

Billiard,,, imagine you're seeing this chick. For real, imagiine it. Now imagine that she's a nice gal, but you are just not that into her. She's not doing it for you. You like her, that's about it.

Now imagine a bunch or phone calls and texts coming in from her. She is just not picking up the vibe that you are just not that into her. She is becoming a burden. Everytime that phone comes alive with her on the other end, you get a negative reaction. She's not longer fun. She's a burden.

You finally tell her to "bugger off". But she does't want to let go that easy.

So I ask you,,, what her best tactic here? Is it to continue the unwanted contact rationalizing what a great girl she is and all she's done for you? Would that ever work?

In reality, isn't her best shot at you to lay low for a while to show you she's not the neediest person in the world and actually has a life. Isn't it true that if she wanted you back, the only way she would get that is to create some seperation and then come in later and find a new way to create some attraction.

I think in your case you need to let go of your "need" for this lady. It's an attraction killer. It's a very hard thing to do and can't be faked.

Get back in your ZONE. Be the man again. That's your only shot.

Oh and one last thing, Solomon is correct suggesting you tell her, at some point, it's my way or the highway. But keep in mind,,,,,, you better be 100% back on your game and in the zone before you lay that on line her or
you will kill it.

In the short run I'd lay something like this on her..

"Hey Deb,,, look man,, I'm sorry. It's been real wierd around here lately for me. I'm way off my game. I don't know where my head has been. If you need some space that is way cool. I could use some time off too. ".

That will buy you some. Next get your act together. When you get to the point of not needing her so badly, that's when you can actually get her back.

Agree with the above posts. Your being creepy and needy. Besides, if i read correctly you dated her for 3 months, i seriously doubt you love her and she is the one for you. Garden variety one-itis.

_________________
"Who the f**k is Fanning?"

THANK YOU FOR ALERTING US OF THIS ISSUE'S URGENCY. IT WAS VERY URGENT AND I HOPE YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!