I have known this girl for about 6 years now and have recently fallen for her after a trip to mexico and I have reasons to think that she feels the same way. Back in High School I know for a fact that she liked me, but I thought that this feeling had passed.

When we were in mexico we had alot of intimate moments on which I did not act upon, because I started thinking about the consequences if it doesn't workout.

Since I've been back I can't stop thinking about her and all the things that could've been if I had acted when I was over there. Now that I'm here the problem I have is that if I decide to have her, I have to make sure it is a long-term relationship since I cannot risk losing her as a friend(keep in mind that she is one of my closest friends and that we share alot of the same friends)

I know that she has been with alot of guys, on the other hand I have only been with 1 girl and I am still a virgin. I do not want to go into this relationship without any experience since like I mentioned I want the relationship to last.

What would you guys suggest I do?

( One idea I had is for me to get an escort to perfect my kissing & sex)

Honestly as much of a good idea as it sounds to you right now to go for her, don't do it. If you value her friendship alot and you don't want to lose her as someone you can talk to i wouldn't hook up with her. From personal experience i hooked up with a really good friend of mine(we were really good friends for 2 years), gave her her first ever orgasm during sex(shes been having sex for 5 years with many partners and at the time thought she was broken) and she dropped me like i was infected with smallpox. I didn't even get attached and needy afterwards and she still dropped me.

Now, having said that you really need to give a little more information. Girls can be just like some guys in that after sexually conquering someone they don't talk to them again. Give more info on what shes like, the kind of relationship you guys have had for the past 6 years(i.e. lots of sexual tension, no sexual tension, type of activites you guys do together etc.). It really helps to gauge a situation when all of the background info is known because these type of things are just that, situational. She could be totally different from the girl i dealt with in my personal experiences and things could turn out totally different for you then they did for me or other guys that have been in a situation similar to yours.

Bottom line, elaborate a little more on your specific situation so that I, as well as others, can more effectively help you out.

P.S.
Don't worry about being inexperienced when it comes to sex, most of us did when we were virgins and there is really no need to. The escort is a bad idea IMO, it happens when it happens and lack of experience isn't a turnoff for most girls. From talking to a lot girls after the fact when i was first startin out, being a virgin/not with more than 2 people was actually a turn on. The main thing when it comes to that is being confident in what you were born with. Im an average guy but i know that i can do things as described above. I knew before i even tossed the V, thats the type of mindset you need to have going into a situation like this. Girls can sense insecurity when it comes to personal outlook/conern about the bedroom.

I don't mean to scare you by sayin that they can sense that kind of thing but in reality its true. When it comes down to the night you toss the V(notice how i said when, not if) just relax and focus on her. If you make it about her first and worry about yourself later, she'll love you. Seriously.

Work on being confident about yourself when it comes to the bedroom. I did this really just by reasearching the female body and anatomy of what goes on down there. Im sure others can help you out more when it comes to that because i feel like it comes naturally to me. Throw up another post about helping out sexual insecurity and the community will give good input

Just a question that came to mind when I read this- why isn't it a good idea to go for a friend? Isn't that what people look for in a partner? Someone they can talk to, connect with on another level, and is physically attracted to? At least that's what happy couples look like to me...or maybe its all contrived media/hollywood bullshit.

Thanks for the advice Ballerado, I will surely consider your situation before I do anything, but I think that our relationship is a little different than what you had.

background info:

I met her back in High School and like I said I know that she had a crush on me since her friends at the time were giving me hints and I was choosing to ignore it for reasons that I will explain later. I have not been close to her for all the 6 years and there was a period of 2 years where I almost completely stopped seeing her (we would still see eachother at our birthday parties, thats it). During this past year I have gotten close to her and she is now part of my group of closest friends.

I'm NOT the kind of friend to her that she comes to when she is sad or has a bad day or for advice about guys. Our relationship is mostly about doing fun activities together ( clubbing, drinking, camping, traveling), There is a lot of teasing involved, but not much of it could be described as sexual (except when we are grinding at clubs). When we are together she likes to cuddle and usually grabs my hand or sleeps on my shoulder, tells me to hold her, etc.

Now the story is even more complicated than it seems... One of the reasons I did not go for her back in high school was also because I knew my best friend was in love with her. He wouldnt stop talking to me about her at first, but he now says that he doesn't have feelings for her anymore, but I can see right through him and I know that he still feels something for her. Now they (him & her) have a kind of close friendship which I call Real Friendship (no romance, no tension, no teasing)

After High school I was very pissed about not making a move on her, I reassured myself that I was being noble ( not going for my best friends girl), but I couldn't stop thinking that I was the loser in all of this and that I should've been more selfish at the time.

There you go you have the background info on my relationship with her. You comments and suggestions would be appreciated.

I say go for the escort man. The level of confidence that you gain after doing that will help you in this situation and with other girls in the future.

alphakg2009 just because people here are able to write a long drawn out post doesn't mean its good advice. Ballerado's telling you not to take action which is very bad/cowardly advice.

You need to work on your confidence and approach this situation with the mentality that, "I'm a man and I know what I want and she will return my same interest on a romantic level"

If you go at her the way you are now all cautious and fearful of rejection she'll have no problems rejecting you.

Now you can choose to do nothing but I promise she'll have some other man serving her up in the bedroom.

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Friendzone 1-vt51424.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

Haha glad to see that everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

I don't think it's terrible advice that I gave, just a perspective coming from personal experience in the matter. If you read closely(the whole second paragraph) I switch from my first paragraph outlook and ask him to shed light on his specific situation because it may turn out different for him then it did for me.

After reading your more in-depth explanation I would say go for it due to the fact that it is not at all like the relationship i had with my good friend(you said you were NOT that kind of friend to her in terms of bad days etc, I was).

Reo is right with the confidence aspect as well, she'll be able to see right through you if you don't have your shit together in terms of knowing what you want. Confidence is pretty much everything when it comes to picking women up so work on it before you approach her.

Thanks for your posts guys.
Just to tell you guys that I have already decided I am gonna go for her, but the question is when...

I wanted to know your opinion on the escort option. What I am planning to do is tell the escort my situation, even tell her that I am a virgin so she walks me through the steps I need to perfect.

What do you think about this Idea? Should I go for the escort?