Expat party and there is this spanish milf who turns up whenever the partys are on wearing little dresses the just about contain her massive breasts.

I guess she does not have a husband as she comes along. I need a good opener thats simple as english is not her first language...

Perhaps... "hola" ?

Hola chica! Como estas?

Be prepared for a barrage of spanish... You should get a little english/spanish dictionary, preferably one that actually teaches grammar and contains popular phrases (footprints the travel company makes great ones) and make a really bad attempt at hiding it while you peek thru it and amaze her with your skills.

For added fun, pick out totally wrong and inappropriate phrases.

I'd make it painfully obvious that you don't speak spanish. For instance, write what you're going to say on a flash card.

Do something stupid and funny.

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Just speak clearly and simple. Hi, how do you like the party, where u from. Just chat

Words are overrated. Opening is 10% what you say and 90% what you don't say. In other words it's all in how you present yourself. Close your eyes, visualize you are the world's greatest lover/an all-star football player/ a powerful politician, whatever and imagine how you would approach if you had to communicate without using words. What would your posture convey, what would your eyes say, what would your kino say. Now just add in the phrase Como estas angelita?

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I would advise against speaking Spanish, if you don't speak Spanish already, that is - my experience with speaking foreign languages is that there's a high risk of sounding like an idiot and everyone always repeats the same set phrases which one gets sick to death of hearing. Plus most people think foreign languages are sexy anyway and like to be hit on in a foreign language, that's part of the appeal of being in a foreign country.

I had a friend come to visit me here once in France and a bunch of youths accosted her on the street and were saying the rudest most vulgar things imaginable and she was practically swooning at how "romantic" they were; obviously she didn't understand a word (until one of them grabbed one of her breasts, that is).