Hey, some girl added me to my messenger (appearently she is in the same class than I am, I don't know her because there are so much people) but I know more girls remember me than I remember them (because they are so much). I asked her to introduce herself. Now she asked the same to me, she looks pretty good btw.

Any suggestions what I should tell her now except introducing myself? If I just introduce myself and say nothing back it's like I close myself off.

I ask this because I always move back mostly (a deeply ingrained fear of rejection that even occurs when girls approach me!) and I don't want to do that mistake again.

Any suggestions to guide myself a bit are greatly appreciated .

At this stage it is important to keep it playful and tease her:

Her: So what's your story?

You: Well currently I'm at school and I have this crazy stalker girl with (____ color eyes and ____ color hair (add her details in the blanks )who has added me on messenger, but that's OK cos she seems cool. After school, I keep fit by packing hundreds of matches into matchboxes. I don't like it - but it pays well.

(Then finish on a question) It makes it easy for her to reply to you.

[You get the idea]

(Btw her adding you is a huge IOI)

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

More than huge, don't stress it buddy, her adding you means you've already got her wanting you, so don't try so hard to impress her, work on getting to know her and flirting if the time seems right


I'm also new to the game, so if anyone wants to correct me feel free to do so

Today I saw the girl for real, right in front of me (pure hasard). I looked at her really closely and she went thru neither I or she walked up to say hi..... What the fuck should I do now. She didn't yet respond back to my msg. Maybe she now thinks I kinda ignored her.

Um what was your last msg, and why the hell didn't you speak to her.

Three second rule. One, two three, speak to her!

Your back-tracking.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

Yea I know, I know, I have lots of difficulty opening up, it's a terrible thing I'm working on... This stuff allready happened to me lots of times before..

But yeah, she answered me on my last msg, she didn't talked about the fact I didn't speak to her or so when we were face to face to eachother (she just acts like it never happened, but I'm really sure it was her). Mmm okay wtf should I do now, she just answered back with another stupid question waiting for me to do something I guess.

Tell us what yours and her msgs are *verbatim.* Post them here.

Ultimately, YOU NEED to start speaking with this girl and then eventually move on to meeting each other more often.

Text game (or msm) is slow, and in my opinion beta. You want to eventually move into the alpha phase which is escalating, be it on the phone or in real life...

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

Me: Hi "j", i don't know much about you, introduce yourself a bit. See you later.

Her: Hi 'R'; I don't know much about you neither I study "there", talk about you, introduce yourself.

Me: That doesnt say allot about you yet , tell me some more. blablabla (me taling a bit about myself), you like it here?

(between these 2 msgs I saw her, like I told you before.)

Het: Yea I like it I partied a lot and I'm really tired, so, you travelled a lot huh, why just for fun or?

This is kind of a translation from dutch, these were no instant messages but posted with days in between eachother

I really feel like it's my time do or say something to escalate now or whatever.

with this kind of interaction I'd say the only secret is:
don't make the girl feel bad about 'opening' you, even if it was on messenger

next time go talk to her, easy a bit on the cockyness and from there its pretty much what you read here or in books

Okay she sent me another msg (I didn't answered yet on her last msg), and asked me if I'd go to some party and excusing herself for not answering quickly enough, kind off thinking about what I should say

Are you joking? She's asked you to a party and is apologising for not answering you quickly enough.

She's more or less submitted to you.

Reward her. C'mon.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

Okay okay, lol I have much difficulty rewarding for good behavior too . Always playing hardass (or kind off pretending to play hardass, untill it finally screws me up :s)

I told her it was no problem for her to not answer quickly blablabla told her she seemed like a nice girl and we should meet eachother irl, and I also asked her if she was in town next weekend.

I wrote this pretty upfront, not begging-style

Dude you only have to play a hardass when she's behaving badly.

I know exactly where you're coming from though . I've been burned so many times I found it almost impossible to reward good behaviour. I was basically behaving like a prick all the time regardless.

In short, reward good behaviour, punish bad, but don't go over the top. I probably wouldn't have tried organising a day 2, when you've not yet had a day 1.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642