Sup guys,

I seem to be able to easily game girls that are just pretty faces, but when i try to game a girl i actually have feelings for, its like i accidentally throw all common sense about pick up out the window and fuck shit up.

The only way i've really been learning to stop is by trial and error, but by the time i learn then ive already ruined the relationship.

Any thoughts as to why its harder when you like them?

Yeah, years of instinct and habit. You developed your instincts for the first interaction and pickup. You haven't spent as much time doing the same for relationships. It's a learned behaviour to approach women, and do what attracts them.

It's still a learned behaviour when you get to a relationship. But most guys go back to what's comfort for them, and they do what they use to do in realationships. It's just a habit you have to break.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

I'd like to offer a caveat to this advice. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. The way that (some? most?) AFC's try to attract women is by demonstrating early on their relationship credentials. If you have actual relationship credentials, don't feel like you have to lose them. Relationships call for some of the skills that you learn in pickup, some skills that you may have possessed as an AFC, and, as most longtime couples will tell you, skills that you've never even dreamed of.

That said, what you're describing doesn't sound like a problem HAVING a relationship. It sounds more like you're trying to game your one-itis. Attract her the way that you would any other girl. Just remember, if you want a RELATIONSHIP with her, eventually, you and she are going to have to be equals, and that means letting her in on your game. If/when you do this, be prepared for the possibility that she will not understand, and be prepared for it to hurt. It is my opinion that the relationship cannot become mature and grounded in mutual respect until you've taken that risk, though.

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Some vices miss what is right because they are deficient, others because they are excessive, in feelings or in actions, while virtue finds and chooses the mean.
Aristotle, Ethica Nichomachea

*sigh* there goes another one

Two words: outcome dependence.

You do "better" with girls you aren't actually interested in because you don't give a fuck what actually happens so you feel more free to express yourself.

The solution is to stop being outcome dependent with women you're actually interested in. Treat every sarge like a journey instead of a destination and enjoy every second in the moment instead of worrying about "fucking up" or whatnot.

I have same problem as you exactly. I will neg and not care what a girl im not interested in thinks. Then i usually get laid that way. I'm not saying there are ugly girls or anything, still 8's and stuff. They will be begging for it because of my "whatever attitude."

But when i find a girl i like a lot lookwise and personality wise, i find myself trying to hard. And i get too scared to disagree with them and stuff. And it turns them off.

My best suggestion is whenever you find a girl you really like, to think of anything you can to neg her a little. That shows you don't care either way and then they want you more.

my advice is, enjoy it, game her now because you really mean it, don't worry because youll get a bit more reluctant, you know, if you can game any girl like a robot and no one shakes you it sucks, its like you have no feelings anymore, I go for so long times without finding a significant one for me it justs suck's :\

thats my problem though, the last time i liked a girl was 2 years ago.

Let me give you the run down of how all this shit happened because im starting to thnik that i might be overreacting cause of my new emotions (holy shit i sound like im 10).

Met her at an ice arena (Friday night), shit went awesome. started talking on monday. talked for the next 3 days for like atleast 2-3 hours a day. We talk about fooling around, flirting, webcam shit like that.

Organised to see her in town on thursday and go to a festival friday.
I call her ask where she is on thursday but no reply. "fuck this shit" i say to myself so i go hang with my friends.
Go to the festival with friends, she doesnt show up there either. So i gamed with my mates who im teaching pickup to.

But see thats the point. I gamed the strangers fine, yet when it comes to this relationship i've obviously done something to make her not want anything to do with me.

So...it cant really be one-itis cause i game other girls fine.
Mabye im just becoming obsessive which sucks because thats the first thing i told myself i would'nt do.
Im not going to try and contact her, ill wait till she contacts me.
What are your thoughts on this?
Why am i acting like such a tool?

Dude i'm in the exact same situation right now. meet girl, great progress, then as soon as i like her, everything goes to shit, i'm not a complete idiot i don't go totally AFC but it just seems like i loose my edge..

But if someone could answer the same question, once u think the girl is loosing interest should you just drop it and see if she comes back???

ok guys i sorted all this shit out,
this was definately a learning experience and i managed to flip things around.
Most important thing i learned is to not let them control you (especially your thoughts)