Sense is good
Points for Bonita.

I make a thing out of not fighting for myself, Just roll with whatever the idiot makes out of the situation to a certain degree, but if necessary standing up for others around me. (I know I can take the offense, but I also know that as the Alpha it is your job to keep those around you safe as well.)

I hope people agree.

Throwing the first punch is a sure fire way of immediately escalating the situation and also get yourself chucked out of the club/bar.
They have got doormen to deal with idiots, and if the idiot is bothering you, there's no real excuse to bop him on the head for acting macho.


Having the attitude that if someone doesn't seem to back down you should hit them, isn't really alpha, it's infantile and behavior you see in the Beta
Looking at him calmly and talking in a measured pace, relaxing the situation (and if it's serious trouble stalling the idiot) until the bouncer arrives.
If the guy seriously wanted to hit you, he'd have done it already.
Talking calmly will have an effect, and he will most likely have to struggle to keep the angry state, adrenaline and those hormones quickly dissipate if nothing happens to keep them going, leaving a drained feeling, a little shaky.


Keeping at arms length, is also good advice.
And keeping the body language steady I've found to be good.
I've seen, and experienced, the aggressive person getting worse when he doesn't meet resistance (if you submit completely, with downward eyes and such)



A little Alpha theory;
The Alpha isn't constantly challenged.
The Beta is constantly fighting for his position and the rights to challenge the Alpha, if he decides he is better suited to lead and provide for the tribe.

In Human interaction, the Alpha isn't chosen by fisticuffs, but through demonstrating a will to lead, and guard those near him, keep them safe.
The aspiring Alpha must therefore demonstrate that he is the top Beta, and has the strength to defend against whatever; thus fighting, and to become the new Alpha he must demonstrate that he is more suited to Lead than the current Alpha.


Thus if you demonstrate willingness to submit on your Core Values (as Bonita said) he will most likely keep pushing, Beta-challenge
Pure BS.


Best is to keep out of trouble, and if you're in your places, places you frequent, people will most likely notice if something is up.
Like Madals said, keep a big friend around.



Keep out of trouble, now

What you say holds truth, especially if their are bouncers around, however thinking... "I will not defend myself physicaly I am alpha I have no need to drop to that level."

I think is a dangerous attitude to have, a disposition to fight is bad, but an un-willingness to do so when it counts is the same evel of idiocy.

The myth of if he approached you to hit you he would have done it already is a myth, as I've said above, alot of the time their is entertainment in the "wind up" phase, and often that argument is a time waster to stoke up some courage.... (fighting is a scary prospect, regardless of whether you are the aggressor or not)

People can rambel on about charm all they like, I'm gonna use it most definatly, but I'm going to ensure I have other ways of dealings with physicality.

I'm quite a cocky, loud, energetic guy so I get someone trying to fight me at least once a week. Funny enough, I been doing Kickboxing for 7 years.

That said I still try avoid a fight at all costs, and what I say normally gets me out of a lot of them by disabling my opponent to look like the alpha male which ever way it ends up if the fight does go down. In other words I point out that they're looking like an ass already and if it ends up the way they want it, even if they fuck me up properly, they'll look like even more of an ass.
I'll say things like I'll ask him if what we're talking about is really worth fighting over and what its going to prove, I tell them that I'm not into fighting so if they feel so threatened by what I've just said that they want to fight over it then they've already lost. I tell them again that I'm not into fighting but if its going to make them feel like a real man then they must do what they want and get it over with. If its really getting nasty and it looks like its going to hit the fan, then I normally tell them to go ahead, do what ever you want to me, you can break my nose, you can give me a shiner, you can kick the shit out of me, you can even put me in hospital if you like, BUT DONT EVER THING I'M SCARED OF YOU, because I'm not!
This is suggesting that you know you'll get beaten down and so backing away from the fight but still keeping your dignity, once you've sugested that you know they'll win there's usually no point to fighting.
I only talk macho like this when I'm infront of women though and I need to show some sensibility, if there's no women around I'll fight just because its fun or if I'm really in for a real beatdown I'll say "come on bro, you're like 5 times my size, what are you proving by fucking me up? Is it going to boost your self esteem? did you have a troubled childhood or somthing that you picking on someone who clearly cant defend themself. -sometimes it turns out bad but only like 30% of the time, other times if disables them. but if you use any of this then dont come blame me.

_________________
Peace, Finchy!

you guys should try out krav maga like i am doing, it is a very good MMA for when people are getting agressive

especially as all moves are fair game (including ball kicking, eye gouging and throat punching) they also encourage high stress simulated enviroments in order for you to be able to handle adrenelin.

No, it means you are overly aggressive and can not control yourself, which means you are not alpha. Alphas fight cool, gauging eyes is not.

x2 on Krav Maga... I am also a Krav Maga practitioner... I think it is the perfect self defense art form.


And Watermelon there is no such thing as a fair fight... and the fact that you were attacked show's that. Deflenct, attack, incapacitate and exit the situation... this is how your taught to resolve thing in Krav Maga. And it's all fun and games to 'play it cool' until your winning a fight that way and he pulls a weapon or a friend of his jumps in too. If the conflict cannot be avoided then you should end it quickly. BTW Krav Maga teaches you to back down from a fight through whatever means needed up until you are certain that the attack is imminent.

It depends on 3 things.

Yourself
Your opponent
the venue

Do you want to fight? NO im guessing, you don't want your peacocking gear covered in someone blood.

Does your opponent want to fight? A tougher question, look for physical traits, but more importantly focus on how many people he his with, the higher the number the more people he will look like a wimp to if he backs down.

The venue, Where im from "Chester" you know that you are going to get more trouble in "off the wall" than you will from say "cruse", if its an upscale club the chances of them actually hitting you are slim.

Main bit of advice
If you have a wing, even if he is 5 foot 1, always get him to walk up and stand right beside you. He will think twice about assaulting you now, if the douche has a friend who backs him up, there are now two people who might object to fighting. Because even if one of them are up for it, he wont touch you if his friend isn't.

Wings save violence.