I think I got her on this one.

I've been talking online with a girl that was from my highschool.

I can tell she really enjoyed to talk to me online, she laughed a lot and had fun.
But I tried to make her go out with me but she always said she couldn't. On the first attempt she said she would travel the whole weekend, on the second attempt she said she had a wedding on saturday, but maybe on sunday it would be ok and I said "Ok. If you can on Sunday let me know" and I didn't waited for her answer about Sunday, I did a freeze out. I complety cut contact with her on saturday, sunday and monday.

Now she left me a message on the social network:
"You disappeared. o.o"

So, she's missing me. What should I do? Should I keep freezing out or should say something like "I didn't. I'm always here." or "Yeah... I've been kind of busy.".

What do you think? Help me on this one because I think I'm on the right track and I don't want to screw it.

Thanks

Yeah...I have been kind of busy is better.

The reason for this is very simple. What is more attractive a guy that sits in the house all day on the computer. Or a guy that is constantly busy out with friends and things? The 2nd guy right because he's in "demand." So be in demand to her even if you aren't.

Then when you ask her out again, you need to set a solid day. Don't do this, "Can you go out on ....." You need to be a little more authoritative. Say something like, "I've been pretty busy lately with friends and work. On (insert day) I'm going to (insert place), I love it there, you should tag along if you're free."

The reason this works is simple. You are deciding when the date will be. This is her chance to see you. If she says No, you can say well I'll be there anyways, because you love it there. It's your favorite place, you have to act that you don't care if she goes, but she can "tag along" if she wants. This is part of being "non-needy" which is a DHV spike.

Hope this helps,

Jon

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Thanks for the answer!

I think there's a plus in this story, that is:
At the same time I was freezing her out, I had lots of girls sending me messages on the social network.

So, if I say I was busy she'll really think I'm on demand.

I think I'm playing it right here.

I went from AFCish needy mode to PUA non-needy/busy mode.

HER: You disappeared. o.o
ME: Yeah... I've been kind of busy.
HER: But appear, sir.
ME: I'm doing business right now. When I come back from uni later at night, I enter MSN, ok?

I think I did it right by not buying into her game, right? If entered MSN right away she would feel that I have nothing better to do or I'm falling at her feet, right? Or worse, she would feel she's in control.

I think it was a shit-test, trying to see if I do what she wants and be available right away, right?

The force is strong in this one!

Yeah, you are right. Even if she's not conciously doing this as a test it's still a test. If you are always there for her like the other guys she's said LJBF too then you will end up in that category too. It took me a while to learn that lesson.

Like you said once a woman realize she has control she'll do a few more tests to verify. Then in most cases she says, "Well he's a nice guy." Then you know it's just a matter of time. It's up to men to lead and take charge and this test is part of testing for that.

You navigated it right.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

MORE FIELD REPORT

Looks like I'm progressing.

As I've heard, online game is slow, and I'm feeling it. We've been talking only online until now.

But I'm going well.

Yesterday I left an online message to her like this:
"I see we like each other a lot.
We could be really good friends.
So, meet me on the rock show on Saturday, let's drink something and have fun.
If I don't see a "yes" here when I come back from class, I'll substitute you by a very boring BOT named (her name)."

On the last sentenced I teased her for being only online friend.

Then she tried to play hard to get here:
"hahahahahaha
Sounds really good
I can't promise.
You know I can't promise.
Ok... I want to go.
At what time will it be?
(I see you will only answer this by 3h from now. lol)"

So, first she tried to play hard-to-get, then as I was at class I didn't answer and she thought "he's serious on this", then she finally accepted.

I also sent a picture of me to her. She said "You look different from what I remember of you from highschool."
and I was like "Different? How different?"
and she said "You gained weight. You're more beautiful (you asked why)."

by this time I only could remember the voice of Mystery saying "No, you don't think I'm different. You're attracted to me."
lol

Later, after some flufftalk, she added me in a converstion with 2 (online) friends of her. Yeah, she's the kind of gamer girl and has online friends.
So, what did I do? I disarmed the obstacles by helping them tease her for the emo band she likes, so they really liked me. But eventually I would go from teasing her to defending her, so she was kind of confused.
In the end she laughed out loud and so her friends did, and I was no longer a treat to them.

And then one of them said "So, you're the guy she's been talking about." and I played "OMG! Am I THAT famous?".
And she tried to hide the fact, that she really said it to him. Then I played the tactics of jumping on her side again and agreeing with her, so she didn't felt pressure.

hahahaha
What do you think? I think she's totally into me, but shy or with ASD.

Bro you got it, listen to JSmooth, I couldnt have said it better myself, he really knows what he's talking about.

I'd think its fair to say you've got a date. Try keep the general chatter a bit short untill you guys meet in person, your date is already sorted and you wouldnt want her changing her mind at the last minute by making a small mistake.

JSmooth, I'm a big fan of your work. Love the blog too bro, keep it going.

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Peace, Finchy!

Thanks for the kind words. I will certainly keep the work going.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Is she testing me?

On that conversation that I teased her for the band she likes, now she says "I'm not going to meet you because you don't like the band."

I think I'll reply with something like "Ok. I admit. I don't like them. But you COULD make me like them. Do you accept the challenge?"

Yes this is an obvious test to check for compliance. I would put up my own hoop. That's not a bad way to say it. I might even say it like. "I don't really like the band, but to be honest I haven't given it a chance. Perhaps you can change my mind if you're up for a challenge."

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

And if she doesn't take the challenge?

Gotta be prepared for everything! lol

JSmooth is on the button again, and yes she obviosly is testing you, but I think she's just teasing and trying to start conversation. She does want you to fight for her to come with you but just pass it off as if you think she's just joking.
If she tells you she's not up for the challenge, laugh it off and say, oh dear it dosent look like this is going ot work, make sure she knows you're joking too.
Keep up the general chit-that and casually tell her you're going out on the weekend and she could tag along if she so wishes.
good luck man, give us some feedback.

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Peace, Finchy!

So, she jumped on my hoop and accepted the challenge:
It seems I gained control again. Now I have to think about something with POWER to say.

Dont have advice here, your doing good man keep it up and good luck on your date. O and listen to JSmooth

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Getting the Hang of things

It's like watching a flower blossom.

She's submitted.

But remember it only takes ONE failed shit test to fuck shit up. Keep on your toes and you should be OK.

I'm keeping track of this thread.

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*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
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