okay what should i do with this girl?



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PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 12:47 am 
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hey you guys, about 3 weeks ago i met this girl at a bar and we were having a good time.

i didnt kiss or do anything but dance with her that night, because she told me she had a BF. i then told her later that night that we would have been kissing all night if she didnt have a BF. also her friends were standing next to us.

i managed to get he #number that night, she hesitated but i 'just wanted to be friends' so i got it.

we started text messaging the following week and she wanted my facebook and added me and we started exchanging messages and a week later i called her up and we started some small talk on the phone.

I told her that i was planning to go out and play pool that night but my "imaginary female friend" wasnt able to go anymore so i asked her if she was able to go with me. she told me she couldnt go with me because she was having dinner with 2 of her friends. she text messaged me that night asking if i was winning at the game of pool :P, so i responded at asked her how her dinner was etc.

the night after that I went out in a different town and then she started text messaging me if i was in town and if i would drop by the club she was at. ofcourse i wasnt going so i told her i would drop by some other time. she responded well and asked me to keep that promise.

now, yesterday i text messaged how her weekend was etc and if she had something planned for the next day (today). she asked me why i was asking this and that she was going to be busy studying for some exam on friday. i then text messaged back that i wanted to meet her today but i could understand if she wasnt able to go because of her studies.

she then told me we would do it some other time...



but wtf dude, i know she likes me, and her friends do aswell, im pretty sure the BF is no issue anymore (i > all afcs :P)
she wants to meet me in the club but is it ok for me to believe she is afraid to meet me alone? i really dont know how to handle this but if i ask her out for the 3rd time lol and get refused again...

if she really wanted to meet up she would arrange a meeting herself right?

did i already invest too much time in her? :P


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 1:49 am 
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do you think i dont have enough comfort yet?

:(


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 2:31 am 
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The girl friended you from the start and you agreed to it... That was the worst thing you could ever do. Why would you lie to her saying that was just fine, when you really want to do the hell out of her? Yes I'd say you've wasted far too much time.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 2:55 am 
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hm by saying i just wanted to be friends, i there gave her an excuse to give me her number.

what am i suppose to do then?

say i want to be her new boyfriend with her already having a BF and her being surrounded by her GFs in a nightclub, while ive talked to her for 30 mins? :P

ive seriously never been friends with a girl before, there was a lot of sexual tension and holding hands during that time.

is this girl just shy for not arranging meetings herself?
is it normal for me to always do this, even if she cant come, should i still take the iniative after the first 2 refusals? ty


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 5:26 am 
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The 'just friends' thing was a false disqualifier. It shouldn't be a problem unless he let's it sit too long

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 5:30 am 
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Quote:
The 'just friends' thing was a false disqualifier. It shouldn't be a problem unless he let's it sit too long
He's clearly done that already
Since you played that angle so long you've manage to trap yourself
as seen by her flaking

AFCerik its late I dont' have time to explain
read my Friend zone post you'll understand

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 12:00 pm 
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you really think so?

shes the one who has been chasing me in the past weeks the only thing i did was respond to her chases and ask her on dates, she was the one who cancelled the first date because she had a legimate reason, but i found the second one a bit lame, her having to study for a test 2 days later.

ofcourse i dont know her life situation since i didnt really got to know her by now, maybe shes real busy with school? i dunno, still i found it a bit weird so thats why im asking you this, maybe she is just shy?

i really dont think theres such a thing like a friendzone here, however i will read your post.

this is what we text messaged last saturday night:

her: hey, are you out in XXX?
me: no im not, im actually out in another town, but it isnt that fun over here, hows your night
her: here it great, you should drop by ;)
me: haha i cant, ill meet you some other time
her: you'd better ;)

okay i cant believe i actually try to convince you guys by posting text messages that this isnt going to be a friendship :P

the problem is that she wants to meet me in the club but maybe is a bit scared to meet me during the week? is 3 weeks too long? I tried not to be needy and it worked out since she the one whos chasing me. but i dont want to meet up with her on saturdays cause thats sarge/guys night :P


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 12:11 pm 
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lol i just read the topic :P

im not gonna buy the guy flowers dude, im sooo sure its a done deal whenever i meet up with her again, i just dont want to meet up with her on saturdays.

ive never had a LJBF situation, not to be cool or anything because before i always was to afraid to approach but the girls i was with were always based on sexual tension. im natural in that area.

its the same with her, i always end the conversations first, shes always the last who sends a message, i always change the conversation topics, im always in the lead, so i want to set up dates but she had a lame excuse for the second time saying that we would meet up some other time.


and yeah i really like this one actually :P


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 3:37 pm 
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Seems like to me that she has completely forgotten why she was first attracted to you, and now is flaking because there is no longer an attraction. Her trying to meet you at her terms is just another way of her treating you like every other guy. She also wants to impress her group of friends, showing that she got another sucker to come and drool over her at a snap of her fingers.

I remember the boring convos I had over the phone with girls I thought liked me, but ended up never getting them to come to places on my terms. I would always get the come to this club bs, or mall. I had no interest because I lived too far. Ended up not talking to these flakes again.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 3:47 pm 
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y i guess thats the case a little bit here, ill just let it die i guess..
how should i prevent this?


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 4:34 pm 
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i actually feel pretty bad about this now :?


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 5:01 pm 
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She should meet her one night.
See if theres still sparks, if theres not
forget about her if there is........
well i think you can handle the rest :wink:


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 5:47 pm 
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yeah ill just say hey lets meet up this friday, if she has some lame excuse for not being able to go ill bust her for that and from then on just ignore her.

i think i have to learn more on time bridges and 2nd days and how to arrange them. I had a solid number close with lots of attraction but i didnt really have a reason to get together.

is it good to find something in common so i can use that for a reason to get together?

its so stupid man, this is the first time in my journey in the game that i let a girl effect my mood, im confused :P. im feel like a loser :roll:

still a lot to learn


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 11:21 pm 
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Quote:
its so stupid man, this is the first time in my journey in the game that i let a girl effect my mood, im confused :P. im feel like a loser :roll:

still a lot to learn
You shouldn't feel like a loser bro. You're out there doing what 90% of guys won't do. Hold your head up high and remember that its a learning process.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 12:17 am 
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yeah man thanks for that support :)

OT:

turned out there was just a lack of comfort, i asked her out and she agreed but hesistated. i then told her if she didnt want to it was okay. then she told me that she likes me but she just didnt know me that well.

anyways, im meeting her this week at her crib, guess whats gonna happen there ;)

your right, im going to land in the LJBF zone.

haha LJBF MY ASS !! GAME ON


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