| After a great deal of thought and some advice from others I've decided to take a break from the community.
I've spent the last year and a half pouring a great deal of my energy into it and haven't received much back. I never expected to get much back or thought it was required, but over the past year I have also been knocked down repeatedly by forces related to and not related to to community. At times being a member of this forum and the community has been a great help in keeping me focused and giving me a sense of purpose, yet at other times it has become quite a burden as well.
I've been working on several projects since late 2008, some of which were in conjuction with other people and worrying about disappointing those people and everyone who has come to respect and appreciate my work, is the reason I have kept up for so long. I intend to come back at some point and resume these projects whether the other people are still interested in pursuing them or not because they are things I am truly intersted in accomplishing, but at this point it's unfair to them that I am not able to contribute the level of energy and not creating the best work I can. It is also unfair to myself for pressuring myself to produce work that is more for other people than it is myself.
I initially joined this forum and became interested in the community for my own reasons and desires, but over time people requested that I help them and teach them what I know and have learned. Coaching others is one of the things I enjoy more than anything else in life, but unfortunately although there is never a lack of people interested in learning what I have to offer, very few people are willing to compensate me for the time, effort, or skill that I provide. This wasn't a big problem for me for a long time because I truly do enjoy helping everyone who has been a member of this forum and has committed to improving themselves, but due to the demands of my own life and my financial situation, this has become something that participated in less and less over the past few months.
Over the past year I quit my job in order to run a coaching business with a partner full-time and was subsiquently betrayed and left being owed several hundred dollars, as well as without my decent paying job. My 5 best friends betrayed me and between them have cost me nearly $15,000 from various things, as well as business opportunities and reputation. I've put my faith in people who I've trusted my life with without problem, yet who destroyed me financially and emotionally. I've been able to rebound and get over these things, but currently I'm more concerned with the financial hurt than the friendships I've lost.
I wish I could attribute my decision to more than simply money, but unfortunately with the economic situation that we find ourselves in these days I have come to realise that there really is no such thing as a "free ride". We all need to earn money in order to survive and we expect to be paid for the work we do at any job we've been hired for, yet many people expect me to provide my professional services for free or even less than the rates that I have been charging, which are cheaper than those of any other respected professional coach that I have come across (when I said this to Johnny Soporno and Sean Messenger they both readily agreed with me). At this point because I'm satisfied with my own growth in the area of social dynamics, what I've been doing is primarily for the benefit of others and as a result I have begun to feel somewhat taken advantage of.
Understand that I don't blame any of you or hold it against you and that that was a very difficult thing to write because I've done all of this of my own free will because deep down I truly believe in the good work I've been doing. I've met some of you in person, I've taught several of you and many who have moved on to other things in their lives, I've formed partnerships and friendships with more of you than I can count and I appreciate all the advice I've been given and what I've learned while being here and knowing you all. Those of you who I have formed friendships with will hopefully stay in touch while I'm gone because I'm not one of those people who disappears and breaks all contact because they are ashamed. This is entirely for personal reasons.
Chief (who has taken up a lot of my slack over the last year, which I am grateful for and who I respect more than he'd ever believe) wrote a thread about the burden of leadership a while ago. When I saw it the first thing that came to mind was the pressure that I myself felt from everything that people have come to expect and demand from me as a role model. When I read it I realise that he meant something entirely different and I think that was the first big clue. Being a leader was never a burden to me, but it has become one and that pressure I've been feeling from it has affected the rest of my life as a result.
I'm sure that in a few months I will have regained my former zest for life and teaching, and gotten back on track to where I want to end up. At that point I hope that I will return and be able to help others on their path again. Until then I know that there are plenty of people who are in the position to help those who need it and I'm sure they'll do a great job.
I want to thank those of you who I've had contact with over the last year and a half, you know who you are. Don't be foolish enough to think that I didn't learn something and enjoy knowing each and every one of you, whether you think you were insignificant or just another person, you guys enabled me to become the person I am and without you I couldn't have gotten here.
If you're still on your way to getting where it is you're going, don't worry, you'll get there, you just have to commit and stay strong, cause it isn't easy, but it's more worth it than possibly anything else you'll ever do in your entire life.
Best wishes,
~ Rye
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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch
~ Rye
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CHAT
best of luck in future you've been nothing but great on the fourm.