Have immense approach anxieties....feel frozen in time. Can't walk up and open a set. Would really Really appreciate some help from you guys.

So can you ask a stranger for directions or not? Can you ask your teacher a question or not? Can you ask your mother that you'd like meat loaf on Friday instead of spaghetti? Can you order food from a waitress? Can you tell the lady at dunkin donuts that you'd like 2 sugars instead of 4?

If you can't do any of these things, that you're problem is to big to solve through some silly Internet forum.

If you can do most or all of the above without much problem, you should be able to chat up a few ladies.

In your way: (You're thinking about sex and you're thinking about dating them and you're thinking about "picking them up" and you've learned through time that these are hush hush subjects)

So don't go for the direct method for now. Befriend people. You are ONLY there to meet new friends. There is no sex, no dating, and no pick up. Just open and talk to them as if they were waitresses or your mother. Then go . . . bye bye . . .

When you feel comfortable with that, work on setting up "next meetings" through contact info.

http://mpua.net/approach_anxiety.shtml

A little excersize for ya thats helped alot of my students with AA

A friend of mine has a social disorder in which in any busy, intense social situation, especially when speaking or being near to women.

A term thats a bit cliche is "face your fears" but its true and its effective.

I got out of a long relationship a few months ago and was worried about chatting to women....but ...and heres the secret. People like to be engaged and talked too, women just have to sift through the dull murky mess to find that gold nugget. Okay its a little cheesy... but you get the idea. If you are an interesting person, then you shouldnt worry about talking to people, they should be glad you talked to them.

The way to work through it is to use a few incantations, words around "your social value", "what you offer to the world", "what makes you you" then they should help you promote your being...then you can talk to anyone, they are just people...

I hope you get over it man, you have the right to a basic funcition of the universe, communication. Its about how you utilise that tool....

SO true!

Please, for the love of women everywhere, please approach us.

See that girl sitting by herself nursing a drink? She's terribly bored. Even if her boyfriend is there, she wants to be approached. Save her!

Cinnamon

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Thanks guys... Things have started moving for me. I got together with a bunch of RAFC buddies and went sarging. We knew we were gonna be shot down and thats exactly what we were shooting for. Approach anxieties be dammed. I had so much fun. For the first time in my life I hit on girls with impunity. Had watched fight club the day before, so I guess i was in the Tyler Durden Alter ego mode. Haven't gotten over it fully but improving rapidly never the less. Now another little niggle - after the opener, and I successfully move over to a routine - either the ring routine or the guess the number bet one and ten. some girls were kinda interested. They asked my name, what i did etc. After that I kinda get lost , wherein i don't know how to phase shift and ask for her number... any advice

What the hell? Dude, you have absolutely no problems. Keep at it and have fun. Do a search for number closes.