I've been thinking about attraction a lot and I have to say it's a little hard to pin down what it is. There are two clear positions that I know of in the community, but a number of other concepts which also appear to hint at it as well. After hearing a couple of the definitions I've decided to make a distinction between them. I'm not a big believer in the 1-10 scale, for me women are either a "yes" or a "no," and I've written this post with that in mind.

Attraction (definition 1): Have you ever been out with your friends and one of them spots a girl that for him is a definate yes. You look over and see a girl who for you is a no. This is true even for girls. There are some guys that they take one look at, and for them it doesn't matter how much game he has it's just not going to happen. That's the David D. definition of attraction. The good thing is most women don't simply make that snap judgement in a couple of seconds like many guys do, but the fact is the best PUA isn't going to be able to attract every woman he wants. No matter how handsome he is or how good his game is if he looks like the Neighbor who molested her when she was young he doesn't stand a chance in hell. That's an extreme example, but it could be something simple that triggers something subconscious in her that makes it just as impossible.

The point is it's real, some women will never go for one night stands, and some will never be interested regardless of what you do. This is the David DeAngelo definition of attraction. The window of opportunity is only open for a few seconds after you meet to be either a yes or no to her. The simple fact is there are a number of factors that will effect the situation, but they have to be put in place before you ever meet the girl, indeed sometimes even before she sees you.

I also see that oneitis is generally a result of being a no to a girl who hits all your attraction buttons. Is there any hope for the poor soul stuck in this rut. I think so, but not much. As I see it the only hope is to spend time doing everything you can to improve your game. It's best to spend a couple years at least with absolutely no contact with the girl in question while you get yourself together. The more contact you have the less likely it is to succeed. Then go back and see her once you've drastically changed, and she may see you differently. There are numerous problems with this course of action, but basically you're trying to get a second chance at a first impression. You have to be so different she can't believe it's you to accomplish it. But I digress ...

Attraction (definition 2): The more effort a girl invests in winning your attention the more she is attracted to you. This could be seen any number of ways, but it still falls under the general term Attraction. I think it's more a symptom of attraction than attraction itself, but it's basically a glaringly bright signal telling you who is attracted to you. This is AFC Adam's definition and it's pretty good, but a bit like calling a sneeze the common cold. Still you can't deny its effectiveness in signalling attraction so why quibble with details.

There are a number of other definitions for attraction, indeed David D. has been using a term that encompasses both definitions above and then some; "Gravity." I've heard people in the community speak of "buying temperature" and such, and I'd have to say that it too falls under the general Attraction label. I personally think attraction is a triggered response much like an emotion, so I guess I have to say I agree with David D. more than AFC Adam. At the same time I see that anything you can do to improve your chances the first time a girl sees you will go a long way to increase the odds she will be attracted to you. So, be clean, neat, fashionable, and surrounded by as many female friends you can gather when you go out, and you will be less likely to meet an HB who isn't interested.

What do you think attraction is?

_________________
Artax
Devil's Advocate

"You're only as young as the women you feel."
"I am the Master of my unspoken words, and the Slave to those words that should have remained unsaid."