Hey gang,
For the record, I'm a rAFC so please feel free to comment.

I met a girl at a salsa dancing class and got the number. I asked her out in December but she was busy when I was free and vice versa, so it didn't happen. Now today, I sent her a txt and we do that back and forth for a bit. I tried to use some disqualifiers and she tried to win me back (IOI, no?). When I said I was going she said she "might" be going to the movies later and if I wasn't doing anything, I could join her. Her sister was going out with her bf and I could go with her (another IOI, correct?). So after she said she can't make the late showing because she has to work in the morning, sorry but some other time. After I said "No problem, but now you owe me "

Can you guys give me some pointers on how I should ask her out again after she flaked like this? Maybe a C&F line? Also am I reading this correctly?

Hey Mr_Elusive,

I've experienced something similar myself before, had a girl ask me for my contact details (I got hers too), she then initiated the meeting before I had the chance to do so and asked me out, but then flaked.

I think back that I let her control the frame, it was on her terms and I seemed at her beckon call I feel. I think I should have taken charge of the situation and lead the meeting to ensure that she wouldn't flake like that. I know there's buyer's remorse when you're getting close to the sexual encounter, but I also think there's something else in the attrtaction and comfort stage where all of a sudden a girl just gets cold feet, she just has buyer's remorse, and doesn't want to go through with the date/meeting and it's not because of anything we did, it's just her own insecurity or paranoia.

My response to the girl was to neg her about working hard and doing overtime, and then to act as the prize like it was her loss and she would have had a great time and should have joined me. She replied that she wanted to hang out with me, but it was her work (she probably was right, but one flake is another for me, time to leave her behind and move on).

So to summarise, act the prize, neg her, lower her value without insulting or offending, keep it C&F. Just take it in your stride and brush it off with confidence.

Good stuff, I'll give it a try!