Ok well I have been "seeing" this girl for about a month now....we would be dating but we live far away from each other so we just decided to not move to fast....we both also said we would be 100% honest with each other and If any thing dumb happend we would tell each other.....

Ok so this how I really fucked up! I mean I feel horrible and sick to my stomach about this!

Ok so last week I was at the bar and talking to a girl....She was very attractive! and she was all over me....we both got drunk and she end up coming back to my place....long story short we hooked up. Now Im sure the smart thing would have been to keep my mouth shut but I looked her in the eyes and told her I would never lie to her and it was eating at me! I mean i felt sick to my stomach....so I told her and of course she now does not trust me and is pissed.....she said she need time to think and I said I undersand and that I care about her and just want her to be happy no matter what she decides.

What do I do now? I really like her! I mean its not just a flingI want her and I know she wants me but she cant trust me now.....what do I do? I dont want to loose this girl....

As hard as it might seem,
there's really nothing you could do.

You fucked up and now it's up to her wether she forgives you or drops you.

Don't try to make her rush that decision, it will only get things worse.


Sit down and wait.

Ye I just old her Im sorry for hurting her and that I dont expect every thing to go back to normal....I just want her to be happy and that Im here for her....told her I care about her more then she could know but I dont expect her to beleve that.

Then just old her to have a good weekend and left it at that.

First lesson learned: Don't tell the chick. No matter how bad you may feel about it, telling her will never make it good.

it'll only transfer the bad emotion to her as well.

So; second lesson learned, if you want to go for a serious, exclusive LTR with a girl, don't fuck around.

If you're looking for open relationships you would have to be straight with that from the get-go, so she knows what to expect.


So last thing learned, this will take a lot of work to fix, if you can manage.
It's a real cripple you've gotten to the relationship, and if it can be fixed it'll take a while, and a lot of comfort building, as well as re-establishing trust (which can be very difficult, I've heard.)

Our condolences, man, but it seems you have either got a dying relationship or a lot of work on your hands.
It's all in her hands now.

man this really sucks but I guess ther is nothing I can do about it so w.e Il just live with the fact I fucked up.....I feel like an idot like Im over analyzing every thing....we have only hung out a few times but we have been talking back and forth over the phone and email and shit.

Iduno I really could have made it work with her even though she lives so far away....I fucked it up.

I am a bit of a sap for romance etc so I think you did the right thing, she took it badly but you were honest. If it comes to it remind her you told her rather than lying to her. x

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When I first came to university a year an a half ago, I was with a girl who I'd been dating for a year. We decided to have a long distance relationship, but I also got drunk and had a ONS. I immediately told her and was very honest. She was broken but didn't want to break up with me and wanted to work it out.

Needless to say, there was a dark cloud that loomed over our relationship for the next few months, until it's eventual demise. Every time there was a disagreement, every time she felt insecure, she would go back to that feeling and that event and it would magnify everything greatly. She cried a lot and it really was just a terrible situation.

I don't know what you should do, it's entirely up to you. Just know that if you tell her and try to continue the relationship, there will always be this painful sensation attached to her. And whether you tell her or not, you will have trouble reconciling your guilt.

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I don't remember the exact words, but I heard a really great line on tv a few days ago. I think it was on House, but I could be mistaken. Basically the guy said that if confessing serves no purpose but to make the person you're confessing to angry with you and alleviate your own guilt, then it is a selfish thing to do and you shouldn't do it.

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